The best note I ever left

‘I should not under any circumstances deal with passive aggressiveness every time there’s an issue with my daughter… not a coincidence when something happens and the next day, another petty thing.’ I left the damn keys in the closet with my uniform shirts and left without a word. Few hours later she asked me when I’m returning from lunch. I didn’t respond.

My best attempt at still trying to be ‘professional’ and straight to the point before I walked away.

What I really meant? Haha, prepare yourself.

The review I read about having to be a “yes man” to work there is true. I’ve been biting my tongue and fighting my urge to fucking leave for six months now. I do my job so fast and well you’re busy looking for stupid shit because you’re bored. Cobwebs? A little dust in a corner? A tiny mark on the toilet seat? Really!? You know the only people that find those things are looking for it or OCD!

Anyway, your problem with me is I didn’t “Hello” or “Good morning” most of the time. Why the hell would I go out of my way to talk to you? I don’t give a shit if you’re my ‘supervisor’. It should be nice when I do it but not expected all the time. Then, well my daughter is sick. Not Covid. Not something I made up to call off of work. You had kids you should know how that is. It’s not like I called off to get out of working. If you didn’t believe me you could have requested a doctors note. Did you? No. Instead you’re all blah blah blah you’re ‘too fast’ and I want you to do more boring detail work.

‘And also the fire extinguishers…’ listen you dumb bitch I’ve told you months ago what was going on with them. And I’ve also been doing the same shit the past six months. Now it’s an issue because I called off for my daughter!? Really? REALLY!?!?!?!? Someone was on a power trip AGAIN because something didn’t go her way. And I’m permanently done being some fucking servant for slow boringass people.

Anger issues

Slow people
Hurry up or get the fuck out of my way

Slow drivers
MOVE or I’ll make you move I’ve already planned out every scenario in my head

WTF did you call me!?
It’s one thing to say my name wrong, another to give me a nickname without asking me if anyone calls me it! You have a death wish? I’ll plan your funeral Kenny. Not your name? HAHA piss off.

“Hi, how are you?”
“The weather…”
“How was your day?”
BLAH BLAH BLAH. Enough with the fucking small talk. I don’t like you. I don’t want to speak to you. Fact, I don’t like anyone in this dump. It kills and drains my soul having to be fake nice to you mindless kissasses.

‘Why do you leave early?’
Because I don’t want to fucking be here. It’s also bullshit I’m constantly early and none of you idiots can be on time.

‘My friend I think you need to let me fuck you, you’re obviously not happy’
HAHAHAHA. I already fucked you numerous times in the past. It’s not life changing. I don’t have issues there. And I wondered why you’re still single — not.

Sometimes I wish I was single
I’m basically alone it’s too much work listening to a big whineass everyday

And no that’s not why I’m like the way I am so piss off

‘Sexual harassment’ at work

Mandatory meeting, they said.
Why, nobody is getting harassed?
That I know or care to know of.
I know someone called the owner a narcissist and you only do well if
you’re a “yes man”.

I can somewhat see how that’s true
counting the few comments in the passing
or just this weird vibe he gives off
he asked me to be in a commercial
with him, why? I’m not being a
narcissistic but we all know
I’m the most attractive female here
because I’m ‘young’
so why not try to make yourself
look good? I declined
I don’t give a fuck about
‘gaining popularity’
last thing I want is people
coming here and thinking I sell shit
I don’t
it’s bad enough everyone refuses
to ‘do their part’ and disinfectant
the store, nope I was called upon
to do it along with everything else

I’m off subject
only comment someone has made to me
is “damn” and looked at my ass
he’s ‘special needs’ and has
no idea when he’s being inappropriate
is that an excuse, no?

I almost gaged at the part
‘don’t have sexual relationships at work, have them outside if you’re both consenting it’s not harassment’
why? Gee, perhaps I had sexual
relationships with men at a job
not here, the men are all boring
or too old
one of the few times I take pride
nobody has a clue about
my past or who I am
thank god

Odd questions at work

Do you have a razor blade?
Yes, I totally come to work and shave my business! Not.

How tall are you?
How tall does it look? I’m not short or tall. I’m boring average.

Do you have any tissues?
Nope. Let me not check my bag or car. Still no. If you’re sick, should you really be at work with what’s going on?

Where can I find windex?
Have you tried the store or Walmart? I’m not packing that either.

You’re pretty, did you take my money?
I don’t sell shit, so no. If you’re applying you’ll pay me $1,000+ for a stupid chair maybe I should reconsider.

How long have you been married?
3 years next month. Means nothing. We’d been together 8+ years. Why? You’re not my type. As if I really have a type, I don’t… very minimum he can’t be slow.

What is your relationship with the owner?
I have none. A few interactions here and there.

Have you ever pissed him off?
Not yet, or that I know of. I’m not trying to get fired or my hours cut!

Honest interview

Tell me about yourself.
I’m a grownass woman. I’m married and have a one year old. I come from a history of shit jobs and have a college education. Oh, and I published some books you’ll never read on Amazon.

Why do you want to work for this company?
I don’t. I applied because you pay more per hour.

How much experience do you have in this field?
What you mean pushing buttons? Haha. It’s so easy my one year could do it.

Can you stand for a long period of time?
Have you even read my resume?

What makes you the ideal candidate for this job?
I don’t give a fuck.

Can you tell me more about your last job?
The owner didn’t want to pay me. The supervisor was trying to sleep with me. He knows I slept with a former supervisor and thought maybe I would. Haha. No.

Where do you see yourself within this company in 5 years?
I don’t. I don’t even want to work for you and have all these responsibilities dumped upon me.

Can you tell me about a time you went above and beyond?
For what? To get laid or paid? Lmao. Never. Nobody ever paid attention or gave two shits what I did.

Are you a team player?
Define what you mean. Are we playing a sport? Maybe. Are you trying to dump everyone’s shit on me? Fuck off.

How soon of a notice do you need if we were to hire you?
Soon enough so I can piss people off.

Honest cover letter

Dear whoever reads this,

I have no experience in any of the positions I’m applying for. Why on Earth would you pick me? I’m a good worker better than the vast majority that goes by doing the minimum, gossips, or sits on their ass all day.

‘But you have nothing but a writing and cleaning background.’ Yeah, so I got out of college and never found a writing or editing job in this area. ‘What about online?’ Believe me I looked and continue to do so. Do you know how many of them ask you for money to even see employment opportunities? Many. You don’t even find anything that’s not freelance. If I want to write freelance, I have a blog.

‘So why should I pick you among everyone else that has experience and better character than you?’ So don’t pick me, I don’t give a fuck. If I have to sell myself or change who I am, I’m not interested. And actually, I make as much; if not more chasing around bust bunnies all day.

Sincerely,
Don’t waste my time

The mall was

the first one I went too as a kid
It had a ‘magic’ fountain back then

the place I went too as a teenager to get all my school clothes (they had stores back then)

where I met my future husband online from at dating website for the first time

my place of employment for three years

the place I was working at when my mother was diagnosed with cancer

where I got involved with someone I didn’t know was a satanist until he told me

where I was after I received a phone call she was dead, clocked in and out of work that day upset

where I my supervisor and I fell in love and had a fucked up relationship

the place I was working at when I was pregnant and had to leave when I was in labor

job I returned too after having a baby

job I worked with my sister and got to see here several days a week

also the job the owner tried to fuck me over numerous times and pocketed my PFL and I sued him

the place with a toxic environment and shitty new supervisor that also sexually assaulted with his girlfriend nearby

the place that wanted me back during this COVID shit part time (less money, less time with my daughter) and after everything, I didn’t see why I should it was a good place once years ago…

and so I left and got a new one

New rule at work: List everything you do

-Clean the entire place in less then an hour.
-Watch crazy coworker clean shit that’s already clean.
-Dodge maintenance ‘supervisor’ because he’s a snake and I don’t like him.
-Write a novel when I’m supposed to be ‘working’.
-Walk around numerous times so I look busy after all my shits been done hours ago.
-Check email and Instagram.
-Listen to podcasts, get bored and listen to trashy music instead.
-Do trash talking trash with my sister.
-Be annoyed by my husband.
-Ponder other things.
-Drink a lot of caffeine.
-Constantly creating my own schedule though I’m not supposed too.
-Constantly stopping myself from reacting/acting upon what I’m really thinking/feeling about someone.

Potential employers don’t tell you

I’m not hiring you because…

You’re a woman
You can’t lift over 20lbs, do a mans job, and I don’t want the men to be distracted.

You’re pregnant
That means you may use that as an excuse to do less. You’re going out on maternity leave and I’m going to have to find someone to do your job anyway.

You have a baby
If you can’t find daycare or a sitter, how are you going to work for me? My schedule comes first, I can’t work with you. I’ll hire someone else that doesn’t have your issue.

I don’t like you
I’ll say you the position is taken or you don’t have the qualifications or experience necessary to try to let you down easy.

 
You don’t have the experience but you can apply anyway
It doesn’t mean I’ll hire you. I’m required by the union to interview so many people.

We don’t discriminate/we’re equal opportunity employers
We just don’t tell you we’re less likely to hire you because you’re white/black/Asian. We act like we care and try to give everyone the opportunity because we could get in trouble.

Life at 31 weeks

I’m done, I’ve been done being pregnant for a while! I don’t know how or why my mother did this six times and delivered each one naturally! (She had the same frame as me but 4 inches shorter than me.) I feel and look like a blimp. Now it hurts when she sticks out. The punches and kicks, not so much but that could change.

I already had to pee a lot, now it’s just worst. If I have to go, I have to go. If I wait, it will make my uterus hurt. The last thing anyone wants is a UTI. I got one not pregnant by holding my piss in. Those aren’t fun and hurt like hell — and antibiotics suck.

I’m still working. My doctor told me she won’t take me out of work unless I have complications or high blood pressure. Sometimes I need to sit. I feel like I spend 70% of my time at work now taking a piss. I can’t drive home from work without feeling like my ribs are sinking in. And certain seating positions make my back hurt.

I look in the mirror and think I’m getting fat or my body dysmorphia from junior high school is back. Comments from strangers (mainly 40+ years old) about how I’m getting big, am big, or too small do not stop. They do nothing for me but piss me off and think, you wouldn’t say that to any other person that’s not pregnant. But because I am I’m supposed to deal with it and take it as a compliment though it’s not! I’d rather you greet me about my shoes! Then she sticks out and I’m like, it’s probably mostly her or I hope so. I learned what kind of music and food she reacts too.

Modern day violin and piano covers are her thing. I don’t mind, I don’t like classical music either. Her favorite is “My heart will go on” on YouTube by Taylor Davis. It makes me wonder if I should make her first name Rose instead her middle name. I won’t though, I’ve already set my mind. I wonder if she’s going to be more musically gifted than me. Then I could say musical talent skipped 3 generations. My great grandfather was a musician and influencer. I just hope she tries to enjoy more things than strawberry Frappuccinos and sour cream and onion chips. She moves when I have it like it’s the greatest thing on the planet.

Behind the scenes is chaos and frustration at home and work. It’s a miracle that I don’t have high blood pressure. I’ve been waiting for months to unpack my stuff and have space with my husband at the so called ‘apartment’ being worked on. To the point I think she’d come out and we’d have nothing ready. She’d have to live out of suitcase like me.

Work wise, I probably have to consider what I say online. Though my report was anonymous and if he did go against me, it’d hurt him more. I know my employer is being investigated and not just for me, but a series of violations. I will get paid family leave when it’s done but obviously he’s not going to be happy in the process. It’s not my fault he didn’t have a policy in place and pocketed all the money from his employees. If you have a business you should keep up on all the policies, taxes, and safety regulations. Once the state is involved… they have the power to shut you down.

She has her baby shower this Sunday. The only thing I’m looking forward to is the cake and the 3 people I invited that are going. I’m going to be again, surrounded by strangers that need to comment on my appearance. Then some fakeass relatives on my husbands side and friends of friends. Another time I wish I could be drunk or high at a party/event and can’t. It just means we’re getting closer and hopefully everything will be set soon.