When gyms were closed

I realized they need you a lot more than you need them. Why? You’re their source of income.

I ran, I rollerbladed, hell I’ve even done pushups, situps, core, and kickboxing all on my own. Sometimes I followed a recorded playback but still, I was perfectly capable of instructing myself. And I did, alongside millions of others.

‘But live classes, live classes’ Yeah, that’s perfect for people that LIVE ALONE, don’t have neighbors, a house full of people on different schedules, or a crying get into everything BABY in the background. People will accept that as a new norm but I never will. Because it’s not normal. To tell you the truth, I feel odd about having anyone watch me through the other end on camera in my home. That’s why I shot down a ‘internet model’ job. I value my privacy. If I take a video in my room or house myself, a different story.

So what is? Following the beat to your drum. If that’s you, go for it. You do you, I do me. It’s not personal, it’s called not everyone needs someone to guide them. It’s not everyone has the luxury of doing things whenever the hell they want. It’s highly unrealistic like the virtual world.

The problems with gyms

I’ve been going to a gym for a decade now. It’s a great place to do your thing for the most part but…


They’re disgusting
If you go to one of those more expensive gyms, it’s probably clean. If you go to open of those basic or cheap gyms, it’s not. The locker rooms/restrooms are dirty to the point you notice the same shit marks that’s been in the toilet for weeks.


Why? They’re probably understaffed/don’t care.

Let me tell you the week I worked at a basic gym — I was the only cleaner and I worked at night. The manager bombed my phone with texts of complaints throughout the day instead of doing anything about it. Urinals were clogged with literal shit and gum. I kept finding clumps of hair everywhere. I said it was bad for my health and quit (because it was, you had all these germs and shit floating around and I was the only person to do anything about it).


Most of them have contracts
You suddenly have to move? They don’t care. You suddenly get sick or have some restriction where you can’t workout? They don’t care. They want their money. It doesn’t matter if you use the facility or services they offer or not.

Hell, when I got pregnant I stopped going to ‘elite kickboxing’ and here I am 9 months in and still paying for it! They said I could have 3 ‘free’ months when I come back. Bitch, it’s not free I had to pay for it! And you probably will require me to sign another contract! Fuck that. I’ll go read up other gym contracts that don’t want to charge me through the roof.


There’s different types of gym goers

The ones that only go to the gym to socialize… in the locker room or stand by a person when they workout and talk for a good 30 minutes. It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t in your way or if you couldn’t hear them. Even with earphones you can!

The ones that pay no attention to their surroundings and cut you off when they walk.

The ones that try to start a conversation with you about your appearance or workout routine… they’re really impressed and don’t appear to get out much.

The ones that smell… everyone sweats okay but not everyone wants your smelly ass in their space.

And the ones that used the locker room as a vanity room and sprays loads of perfume on. We get it, you smell and probably have to go to work after. But what makes you think spraying a ridiculous amount of cheap perfume is going to make you smell better?



Why can’t all gyms just I don’t know, not be disgusting, have no contracts, or people that need to get in your way one way or another? Because it’s too simple to exist.

It truly is

Difficult trying to workout, lift, bend over, or literally do anything pregnant. I know you’ve probably heard it before from other pregnant women. But let me tell you, it is. It’s not just us complaining. You’ll find out when it happens to you, I did.

I’m still early, I have a few weeks left in my first trimester — thank God! But now the horrible nausea starts to pass, I get a sore back and some other weird things that start to happen. Acne on my arm. A dry patch on my leg. And feeling more disgusted by smells and things I already don’t like! But I still go on like I would any other day. God forbid I’d miss going to the gym or working. So I do it and wonder, what the hell was I thinking?

I’ve been extremely fast and had a solid reputation as a “monster” to every single gym I’ve walked into the pass 11 years. Now I get to watch the pace slow down and my stomach grow — and not be able to do some things I could before. I mean I could BUT I’d have cramping, a leaking bladder/vagina, feel more nauseous, get tired faster, feel my sore boobs bounce up and down, it’d be bad for the baby, etc. I’m not gonna lie, it is hard and it sucks. If I planned this at all, I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place! I’d be perfectly content just adopting a million dogs or cats. At least I’d know I won’t have to give birth to them and they won’t keep me up all night crying.

Is it worth it? I don’t know. I can’t tell you. Ask me after it’s born. I have to think day by day, what am I going to do to not feel like shit today? I should think farther in the future but what good is that going to do me in the present?

Then everyone wants to ask you… “How are you feeling?” Pregnant. Like I do every single day. “Do you know the gender yet?” Obviously not. “Do you want to know the gender?” Obviously. I’m not going to buy a bunch of pink and glittery stuff for a boy — regardless what generation we live in I don’t wanna year or a lecture on gender. I’m not an idiot, I know what the difference between sex and gender is. But the FACT is everyone asks me about the gender.

I’m going off topic, so anyway… everyone’s experience is different. Should I try more wives tales to predict the sex, no because according to them I’m having both. I’ve seen the sonogram, there’s only one. Make do what you want. Unless the doctor really pulls you from shit, there’s no excuse. I was sick a few weeks ago and I was told no kickboxing or high intensity workouts for a week because it could kill the baby. As much I don’t really want a kid now or in a strong position financially too, I wasn’t going to kill it. I made that decision I went in the first day to see if I was actually pregnant. Got a sonogram and it showed it had a beating heartbeat.

Thoughts at the gym

What am I going to listen too?
I’m sick of this song.
Okay, I’m bored now.
How much longer?
Thirty minutes is good enough.
Seriously bro why do you have to use the machine next to me?
Judgement free zone my ass.
Why are these creeps looking at me?
Probably looking at my ass again.
Her hair looks fucked up.
God he’s hot.
He has nice arms.
She has bigger arms than me.
She can probably kick my ass.
I think I know him/her.
I’m not from around here, I don’t.
Am I done yet?
This song is annoying.
What am I going to eat later?
I’m tired.
I shouldn’t have stayed up all night.
Sleep aid doesn’t work.
This machine isn’t getting smarter.
This is why I need to do other things too.

What life would be like if I stopped working out

-I would weigh 300lbs.
— or starving myself/making myself vomit.


-Constantly be angry.
NO, I won’t “be calm” — you better not tell me too!


Spending spree? Getting drunk?


-Ball of emotions
I want to kill myself. No I don’t.
If I die, I won’t see him. I don’t want to see him.
He’s a fucking asshole. But, I miss him.
No I don’t. I love him.
Yeah, dead.
Fuck it all. I’m tired.
Shoot me. I could paint a picture. No I can’t, I suck.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m just going to eat ice cream and watch movies all day.