Because I’m pregnant

I don’t get special treatment
no one holds the door open for me
people increasingly like to cut me off when I’m walking

People at work
still expect me to do everything
like I have been
I still got frowned upon my
nosey coworker when I take a break
though she takes multiple

People I’m associated with
through marriage more so expect me
to worship the ground they walk on
and kiss their ass
and talk shit about me when I’m
on the other corner of the room
or behind my back

Strangers say ‘congratulations’
as a way to greet me

People at the gym need to comment
on how impressed they are
I workout or point at my stomach
like they’re 4 years old and they
haven’t seen a pregnant chick before

Acquittances need to greet me
with how big I’m getting
like I don’t have eyes and an mirror

My husband is still my husband
and will fight with me regardless
I don’t have ESP

There’s not a day I’m not either
invisible, in the center of the floor, or someone’s target

And some of them want to see
pictures or the baby
and I’m thinking, you know
pregnancy hasn’t affected my memory
or ability to put
one and two together
y’all treat me
like shit or talk shit about me behind my back
and you think for a second or two
you try to kiss my ass,
it’ll change anything?
I might be blonde but
I’m not a fucking idiot

All this time I have kept to myself
kept my I don’t give a fuck persona
and dealt with you crazy people
treat others how
you want to be treated
they say
if you were pregnant,
would you want to deal with this?
No
I’m glad (not really) I’m bringing a child in this world
full of hypocrites but
she’ll know the truth

Boy

has seizures
in the middle
of the night
he dreams of a girl
he can never have
she is married to
another man
he tries but can’t
find the words
besides
‘you’re pretty’
he can’t say it
to her face
he might explode
and die
unaware she likes
him too

Words I can’t spell

Aggorant
Ranting about rotten eggs.

Arrogant
What I am for not knowing how to spell arrogant.

 

Thamming
Thinking about ham.

Tatum
Chad’s last name.

 

Fanatisizing
Getting a smaller fan to fit in your window.

Fantasizing
Dreaming of things that may never happen.

 

Virigina
What you came out of the day you were born.

Virginia
A state.

 

Insomatic
In some attic.

Insomniac
Your status after a lack of sleep. It’s a song by Aly & AJ, Google it.

 

Goggle.com
Where you go to find pool goggles?

Google.com
You had to Google all of these words because you’re aggorant.

New names for myself

Bobbie
I like naming my male characters Bobbie but usually with a Y. It’d really throw people off when they figure out I have a vagina but there’s girls with the name too!

 

Daisy
I like daisies. I was going to name my future golden retriever Daisy but it fits me as well.

 

George Bennett
I’m my musician/teacher great grandfather reincarnated as a woman.

 

Lillie Summer
Okay, that’s not new. It was my nude model name.

 

Summer
My favorite season.

 

Tuesday
My father wanted to name me after the day I was born.

 

November
Lets name me after the month I was as well.

 

Autumn
I was born in autumn.

 

Alexandria
My mother originally want to name me.

 

Alex
It sounds better.

Defining Swear Words

ASSHOLE

ANNOYING
SCUMBAG
SOMEONE
HATES
OR
LOVES
ENTIRELY

 

BITCH

BIG
IRRITATING
THUG
CHASING
HOES

 

CUNT

CLUELESS
UGLY
NEANDERTHAL
THAT SMELLS

 

DICK

DUMB
IRRITATING
CATS EATING
KELP

 

DOUCHEBAG

DOGS
OR
UGLY
CYCLOPS
HUMPING
EVERY
BIG
ASS
GREATLY

 

FUCK

FREE
UNLESS THERE IS
CHEAP
KOOL-AID

Why I avoid you

Behind the doors I hear,

“She didn’t say goodbye when she leaved.”

Excuse me, when is the last time you talked to me?

Last I knew you were speaking of how stupid and bitchy I am and how annoying, rude, and an ass my boyfriend is — behind my back.

You come around here and you ask me if I want to go out and do thing with you — like we are close or something.

That’s funny, when is the last time we texted? Years ago. When is the last time we hung out when I felt you weren’t judging me or trying to start an argument.

The truth hurts. We may be blood but we have nothing in common. Unlike you, I won’t pretend or make an effort. Can’t help I have a low opinion after I witnessed all of this and you seeking attention on social media for years.

Now I sound like an ass just like you all wanted. I am the bad guy because I won’t pretend. So shoot me because you don’t have the balls to speak, think, and act yourself.

Not empty words

Practice what I ‘preach’

not just an idea

philosophy I live by

 

What good are words if you don’t mean it?

 

What good are words if they are taken out of context?

 

No good

 

Some is just talk

 

I admit

I joke

I metaphor

 

Events change

 

Ideas change

 

What was originally said is revised

like the past I cannot live in

 

So what matters?

 

I am here

alive and present

in my

 

Mind

 

Body

 

Spirit

INs & UNs: Mirrored words.

Secure
Insecure

 

Compatible
Incompatible

 

Capable
Incapable

 

Competent
Incompetent

 

Correct
Incorrect

 

Considerate
Inconsiderate

 

Available
Unavailable

 

Desirable
Undesirable

 

Known
Unknown

 

Friendly
Unfriendly

 

Discovered
Undiscovered

 

Likely
Unlikely

 

Likeable
Unlikeable

 

Practical
Unpractical

 

Easy
Uneasy

 

Political
Unpolitical