Working out at home

Fine
Great
If you don’t have a baby
and a husband stopping you
multiple times
or have to work around
everyone’s sleep
or ‘not too’ loud schedule
I live in a basement
in a duplex
there’s no other place
I can go too
and be left the fuck alone
that’s why I have/had
GYM memberships but
they’re all CLOSED
everything is CLOSED
now we have all this
‘free time’ and we can’t
do much of anything
but go outside,
around the
governments schedule

What is free will?
I don’t know
as they’ve seen
numbers ‘social distancing’
isn’t stopping the numbers
they need to focus
more on a vaccine?
Or who knows
it could be a thing like
chickenpox we all need
to catch it to be immune

What life would be like if I stopped working out

-I would weigh 300lbs.
— or starving myself/making myself vomit.

 

-Constantly be angry.
NO, I won’t “be calm” — you better not tell me too!

 

-Impulsive
Spending spree? Getting drunk?

 

-Ball of emotions
I want to kill myself. No I don’t.
If I die, I won’t see him. I don’t want to see him.
He’s a fucking asshole. But, I miss him.
No I don’t. I love him.
Yeah, dead.
Fuck it all. I’m tired.
Shoot me. I could paint a picture. No I can’t, I suck.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m just going to eat ice cream and watch movies all day.