Do I miss…

Coffee
For a while until it became disgusting.

Ice cream
You kidding me? I still eat it.

Chocolate
… Yeah right like I’d give that up.

Soda
Not really. It’s nothing but sugar.

Alcohol
No. I like my margaritas but I didn’t drink them enough to be like ‘I can’t live without it!’

Marijuana
I lived some 20 something years without it and didn’t do it that much, I manage.

Sex
… I have less interest and desire in it now.

Lifting heavier things
Hell no. It lets me sit on my ass at work sometimes.

Working out
I still do, not as insane I did before — and it kinda sucks having to think about what I’m doing every time.

My clothes
You mean fitting in my shirts and tank tops like I did normally while watching my stomach grow? Yes.

New Year

I’ve missed it
after I had extreme sweat
and felt like I was going to have
a heart attack
I’ve lost my sense of time
I fell sick and couldn’t breath
stayed up all not coughing
or waking up the few hours
I slept to pee numerous times
I didn’t call off of work
I didn’t have anyone to cover me
I didn’t see a doctor
I couldn’t do high intensity workouts
I didn’t need a doctor to tell me
but he called them and they told him
if I did it could kill me and the baby
I had to moderate my temperature
if I got another 101 degrees
I had to go to the hospital
I carried on like normal
and lost my voice
some cop pulled me over
for ‘following someone too close’
he let me go with a warning
it was obvious
I wasn’t lying
he could tell by
listening and seeing me
I’m sick and probably stupid
for going to work

I did anyway
I put in for some time to use
the rest of my vacation days
my priorities are changing
I see less the point
in fighting and going to things
that don’t matter
or won’t lead anywhere
all I can say is
enjoy what you have now
whether it be a person or thing
someday it won’t be there
eventually time does run out
but how are you going to spend it?

Lies at the dentist

Did you have anything sticky?
No.

You didn’t have anything to you’re not supposed to have make your crown come off?
Just a pretzel.

Okay, maybe some gum. But I hardly ever chew it on that side.

Does it hurt?
No.

When I was a kid we had to go to multiple dentists because I kicked them.

When was the last time you visited a dentist before me.
Few years ago.

Like 7 years ago when I had to get a tooth pulled.

How often do you floss?
Everyday.

A few times a week which is more than I used too, never.

Are you on anything?
No.

I mean, I wish I was. Too bad I threw out my vap pen and decided to live like a ‘normal’ person.

Why I’m nice to him

We’re not married. I don’t owe him anything. He doesn’t tell me how to live my life. He doesn’t tell me he loves me. He doesn’t. He likes my body, that is all. He only knows the fun part of my personality. I don’t talk about anything personal. My thoughts and emotions are pretty much non-existent. I watch his craziness and listen to him vent. I’m not in it. I’m on the sidelines. He loses his shit drinking or thinking he’s dying. I hear a lot of things about him and he possibility he has multiple he’s toying with as well. I don’t mention it. I don’t care. It’s not anything I can control or change. I’m simply just there as I always been. I’m not with him. I’m with someone else. He talks about me leaving my husband for him. It wouldn’t happen. Not unless I was strongly convinced things would change and there was something real between us. It’s funny. He’s the one person I was honest too with the few things he knew about my life — my mother, marriage, selfishness, and the lawsuit. I’ve been passive for so long. People mistake it for kindness.

Your work

is boring
you used to be funny
what the hell happened?
Now we don’t hear
from you for months
and it’s the same
blah prose shit
about some guy and girl
there’s no more
dialogue
making fun of names
if we wanted to
be bored as shit
we’d read Shakespeare
or listen to Taylor Swift
bitch

What Characters names mean

Hello Kitty
Bye You-Shitty

 

Cinderella
Kiss me I’m Bella

 

Batman
Bird man

 

Superman
Steroid man

 

Rapunzel
Rap in hell

 

Bella
Hell yeah

 

Prince Eric
Rich prick

 

Spider-man
Creep on steroids

 

Ariel
Air head

 

Tinkerbell
Ring her bell

 

Peter Pan
Later man

 

Rudolph
Ride me up

 

Easter Bunny
Easy honey

 

Pocahontas
Kiss my ass

 

Tarzan
I ran

 

Bambi
Baby

 

Snow White
Now I ate

I would FIRE, if I could

The person who made my coffee this morning.
There’s way too much cream and sugar in it. This keeps happening! WHY!?

 

Water-bottle.
It doesn’t hold water. It spills it everywhere!

 

The fridge.
It doesn’t have any good food I want. At all times it should, even if I ate all of it yesterday.

 

Bedroom.
It is supposed to not get dirty — or clean itself if it does. Why do I always have to do it?

 

Yahoo.
Boring. I’m better off going to Facebook for my news. At least I get to see pictures of a volcano exploding.

 

The guy on the elliptical next to me who smells like onions.
Every day at 7am. Do you have a legit reason for smelling like onions — like wrestling a bagel this morning? Or you didn’t shower yesterday…

 

Every driver I come into contact with.
Going too slow or riding my ass. I have very, very — little patience and a short attention spam. Either speed up or move aside so the real drivers can drive!

 

Every person in Walmart — who hasn’t bathed in weeks.
The cheap perfume/cologne doesn’t cover up the be-o, smell of shit, cigarettes, alcohol, and condoms…

Expectation vs Reality – What I really been up too.

Expectation: Studying and writing an essay.
Reality: Reading a paragraph and writing a sentence.

Expectation: Going to dance practice.
Reality: Nail in tire. Sleep instead.

Expectation: I will go home tonight and get some sleep.
Reality: Going to your boyfriends house and having sex.

Expectation: I’m just going to watch television tonight.
Reality: Drinking Vodka and getting extremely drunk.

Expectation: No drunk sex.
Reality: Trying new-weird sex positions.

Expectation: Talking to boyfriend about life, problems, and feelings.
Reality: Arguing with each other. He made a comment about a girls boobs and you called him a disgusting pervert.

Expectation: Not spending money.
Reality: Buying a bunch of really cute clothes in the mall and online you wore once — and decided you look ridiculous in it.

Expectation: Putting a nose stud in. (corkscrew)
Reality: You just can’t fucking do it. Now you have a big red dot on your nose and it looks like a popped zit.

Expectation: Having dinner and going to sleep.
Reality: Trying a mixed drink — something weird like pineapple and Vodka. Mind racing — you stay awake staring at the ceiling for two hours.

Back to school checklist

Items.

 

Aspirin [ ]
Coffee [ ]
Soda [ ]
Energy drinks [ ]

 

There’s no way in the hell you can live without it.

 

Music that makes you want to…

 

Kill someone [ ]
Dance [ ]
Sleep [ ]

 

Must either get you motivated, happy, relaxed, or make you less bored then you already are.

 

Accessories.

 

Sneakers [ ]
Sunglasses [ ]
Hat [ ]
Hoodie [ ]

 

That way you can go burn off energy by going for a run/working out at the gym when you get angry – or hide when you don’t want to deal with people.