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I don’t like dealing with people, how would that job be ideal for me? Only all my income and work hours depend on people. It’s also expensive to get certified…

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You’re right I should use condoms but wait, are you bugging my phone and watching me have sex!?

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You’re right I probably be on birth control but again, how do you know my business!?

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Really? That’s the best you could find by cracking in my search engine? So I always look for cheap leggings, I’m sick of this high waisted bullshit!

Fitness influencers wanted
That’s because the obvious, I’m a ‘brand ambassador’ for some fitness clothing line in the UK. Spoiler alert, it pays nothing. It’s nothing but free advertisement for them. So if I tried one, I’d do another? Nope. Piss off.

Jewelry ambassadors wanted
I bought a necklace for my daughter she won’t wear until she’s older online a while ago. I guess the tracking chip told them I love jewelry — I don’t.

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There’s a lot for that? Haha. You’ll do literally anything to get people’s money!

Things I’m not buying in 2020

More makeup I don’t need
I bought 3 palettes in 2019 and only use a few shades out of 2 of them! It cost me $150 I could have spent on something else!

Music from iTunes
Even if I’m bored in my car, I always have Sirius or the ability to play something off YouTube. At the gym I listen to music on YouTube or watch videos. I have no need to download music anymore…

Another winter coat
I’ve had the same one for a few years now. I don’t see the point in getting something I don’t really want or need for the season I hate the most.

A calendar
My husband got one from work for free…

L’Oréal Paris colorista
‘Semi-permanent’ and ‘will washout in a few washes’ my ass. I did it in the beginning of October and here it is almost December… I still have some green shit in my hair (it was blue for 2 days).

A watch
I don’t think I ever bought a watch? My mother did for me — in the 90s! I have a cell phone that tells me the time. Last thing I need is more jewelry sitting in a jewelry box not being worn…

Thoughts on video services

YouTube
You know there’s a thing you can pay YouTube to watch some movies and shows? I know nothing about it. I go on YouTube to watch people fuck up their face, rant, listen to music,
and do dumb shit I wouldn’t do in everyday life — for FREE.

 

Netflix
You’re not only losing subscribers because you raised prices. You’re losing subscribers because your content sucks. Don’t get me wrong, SOME originals are good. Most of them are garbage. Most of the time when I go on my account I wonder ‘why am I still here?’ they don’t put any new movies or shows out I want to watch.

 

Hulu
OKAY. Here we finally have some NEW content but limited selection unless I want to pay for an add-on and I don’t. If I’m that desperate to watch something, someone in the house still pays for cable or I could do a simple google search online and watch it somewhere else.

 

Amazon prime video
Why Amazon? Is it because you’re already the king on the internet and you thought you should have some sort of streaming service too? At least I have a last resort if I can’t find the movie or show I’m looking for. But I’m not a prime member and you should stop asking me to sign up for it every time I click on something on the website.

Updated thoughts on social media

Twitter
Okay, it was booming more when I wrote about it 3 years ago. Now it’s really just a place for celebrities to listen to them to talk and have their obsessed fans and trolls watch.

Instagram
The place anyone or everyone would rather share a photo these days. Why? You don’t know all the people that will see it and you most likely don’t have to deal with unwanted acquittances or family members commenting on it — they have no idea how to use it!

Facebook
Still seems to be the place all your unwanted acquittances and family members hit up to see what you’re doing. Jokes on them, you hardly post anything on your profile! Doesn’t stop them from creeping.

Snapchat
Everyone loves the filters but not everyone uses it regularly. Why? It’s another service you’d have to put an effort in to gain followers or to follow people or things you’re interested in that you already follow in other places and see the same content.

Tik Tok
That’s new. Again another service you’d have to put some sort of effort in and not everyone or everything you’re interested in is on it.

Things I’ve a relationship with today vs 20 years ago

Not sure if this is our generation or me or both.

 

Phone: It tells me everything I want to know, takes pictures, let’s me watch anything, and has games I can play when I’m bored.

Tablet: My own personal screen I bring into bed and on trips. Let’s me stream shows and movies.

Netflix/Hulu: If and only if they have something interesting I want to watch. Which is hardly ever, so I find some reboots or 90s reruns.

Coffee: Well, okay — before I was pregnant I was drinking 400 MG+ of caffeine a day. Now I spend my days fantasizing about it.

Gym: I never, ever feel like going or doing anything these days! But the way I eat I’d gain 50lbs if I don’t…

Bed: The one place no one bothers you and you can sit or lay on your ass…

 

20 years ago I was 9…

 

Television WITH cable: So I can watch my favorite shows on Nickelodeon like — Hey Arnold and All That!

Nintendo 64: Mario, Zelda, and a duck shooter game were my favorites. But of course I had limited time I could play like I could watch tv.

Kickball: They called me ‘golden leg’.

My bicycle, roller blades, and skateboard: Because it was FUN. And I lived in a small town, that was my means of transportation. I didn’t have my parents drive me around.

The Backstreet Boys: In my head.

MyPhone

I started with
freshmen year in college
I got by signing a contract
and exceeding
my data and minutes
every month

I dropped her
riding my bicycle
she shattered
I had to go back to
‘old school’ ones

Then one day a few years
later I got one
dropped her
on the solid gym floor
settled with a droid
I found annoying

My boyfriend asked me
to marry him and put me
on his plan
I had her back
I was 1000% committed
when I dropped her
she didn’t break
one day she got a tiny crack

I heard the new ones
were coming out and
put her rest
didn’t sell
at least not yet

Facebook and Twitter Etiquette For Dummies

Facebook

 

Who to add…

People you actually know or met. There’s no problem adding ‘fans’ or ‘strangers’ if you know they aren’t some psychopath, criminal, or pervert — and you actually talked to them somewhere.

 

Try not to add…

Colleagues, professors, bosses, or co-workers. It is weird for them, and it is weird for you. If you do, do both of you a favor and don’t complain about work, life, or relationships. You have to be ‘professional’.

 

Avoid comments turning into a…

Private message or forum. Then everyone gets to know your business, thoughts, and feelings. That’s not something you want…

 

Status overload…

Selfies, rants, videos, or articles. Although some people like it, not everyone is going to. And yeah, yeah… there’s that whole ‘I don’t care if they like it or not’ — and right you shouldn’t!

…You’re entitled to your thoughts, feelings, and what you put out there. You don’t need to constantly share it with people who may be shallow or just not care.

 

 

Twitter

 

Follow…

Whoever you want.

 

Post…

Whatever you want. But if you’re posting twenty tweets every hour maybe you need to rethink…

 

Don’t post…

Whatever you want. You know you’re reaching more people then Facebook, right? If you start hate talking people, spreading conspiracies, and terror — the government will find you.

 

Telling people to follow you…

They will follow you. It’s okay, it’s fine for business — a lot of people have done it. However, there’s people that become OBSESSED with how many followers they get. It becomes a drug. It can turn a good person into a narcissistic, just like Facebook.

 

 

Facebook and Twitter…

 

This is just words from a persons experience. Everyone is different.

…How obsessed are you with getting likes, comments, tweets, and re-tweets?

What. Why.
Who cares? You shouldn’t care.
They don’t really care.
You know who cares…

Why I am mentally challenged on the Internet

I don’t know my own password.

It is the same for half my accounts, I still don’t get it.

 

I don’t know the answers to my security questions.

I don’t know what city I was born in because I wrote, “daklhdfkdlsjfds,” in the box.

 

I get my email address wrong.

I have way too many. It shouldn’t surprise me they won’t accept Innerbubblesx3420937@yahoo.com

 

I post photos I don’t like.

Then delete them within five minutes or the next day. It looks stupid… what was I thinking?

 

I post status’ I don’t like.

Then delete them within a couple hours or the next day. It sounds stupid and I look stupid for saying it… I knew it but posted it anyways.

 

I watch the same video.

Over, over, over, and over again like I got some sick obsession with it or OCD. But it’s fun….

 

I deactivate my account to reactive it.

I don’t know, I got annoyed… but hey at least I can claim to be gone for a month so I look less insane.

 

I write a blog post and delete it.

It was stupid… or I did it by accident when I was trying to edit it. How do I manage that… need some psychologist/computer expert to explain.

 

Stuff I look up on Google…

What are the signs of a psychopath?… Why is my boyfriend not talking?… Why does having my nose pierced mean?… Who is stalking me on the internet?… What are the signs of a Bi-Polar?… What are signs he is cheating on you?… How many parts are in a paint? … Is my boyfriend a psychopath?… What is a sociopath? … How to tell if your boyfriend is a sociopath?

Asssessment: Reactivate Facebook

It’s been days
I can’t help but wonder…

What has changed?
What have I missed?

Nothing.

Same people posting selfies.
Same people crying and complaining.
Same people posting quotes and preaching.

Ah, I remember…

These people aren’t my ‘friends’ or ‘family’
My friends would have texted me when I was gone
My family I have been with most of this time

Not on social media

Oh and my ‘mate’

I been with the past three days, came home today.

(Surprise, just because I’m posting things… doesn’t mean I don’t have a life.)

Did I tell the world? No.

Did he? No.

…Now back to the drawing board…

 

The Real Drawing Board…

LIFE.