Do I miss…

Coffee
For a while until it became disgusting.

Ice cream
You kidding me? I still eat it.

Chocolate
… Yeah right like I’d give that up.

Soda
Not really. It’s nothing but sugar.

Alcohol
No. I like my margaritas but I didn’t drink them enough to be like ‘I can’t live without it!’

Marijuana
I lived some 20 something years without it and didn’t do it that much, I manage.

Sex
… I have less interest and desire in it now.

Lifting heavier things
Hell no. It lets me sit on my ass at work sometimes.

Working out
I still do, not as insane I did before — and it kinda sucks having to think about what I’m doing every time.

My clothes
You mean fitting in my shirts and tank tops like I did normally while watching my stomach grow? Yes.

Things guys don’t quite understand

I just came home, don’t talk to me

Especially joke. Chances are I’m hungry, tired, or miserable. If I was happy, you would know it — then and only then say whatever you want.

 

I can tell you’re looking at me

I get it, it’s normal to look at someone if they appear somewhat attractive, interesting, or weird. You could at least not make it obvious you are looking.

 

If I don’t laugh, I don’t think you’re funny

Just strange or annoying.

 

I can’t look you in the eye

I’m telling you what you want to hear to get you off my back. I’m clearly not interested.

 

If I laugh, I might like you

I’m not going to make the next move, it’s up to you.

 

If I have another man, it shouldn’t stop you

Just because I have a man doesn’t mean I’m going to stay with him forever. There is nothing wrong with us talking, it’s not like we are going to have sex.

 

I didn’t ‘fix’ myself for you

My hair looks good. My clothes look good. I didn’t do it for you, boo. I’m either going somewhere and/or did it for the hell of it — because that is how I am.

What Characters names mean

Hello Kitty
Bye You-Shitty

 

Cinderella
Kiss me I’m Bella

 

Batman
Bird man

 

Superman
Steroid man

 

Rapunzel
Rap in hell

 

Bella
Hell yeah

 

Prince Eric
Rich prick

 

Spider-man
Creep on steroids

 

Ariel
Air head

 

Tinkerbell
Ring her bell

 

Peter Pan
Later man

 

Rudolph
Ride me up

 

Easter Bunny
Easy honey

 

Pocahontas
Kiss my ass

 

Tarzan
I ran

 

Bambi
Baby

 

Snow White
Now I ate

I would FIRE, if I could

The person who made my coffee this morning.
There’s way too much cream and sugar in it. This keeps happening! WHY!?

 

Water-bottle.
It doesn’t hold water. It spills it everywhere!

 

The fridge.
It doesn’t have any good food I want. At all times it should, even if I ate all of it yesterday.

 

Bedroom.
It is supposed to not get dirty — or clean itself if it does. Why do I always have to do it?

 

Yahoo.
Boring. I’m better off going to Facebook for my news. At least I get to see pictures of a volcano exploding.

 

The guy on the elliptical next to me who smells like onions.
Every day at 7am. Do you have a legit reason for smelling like onions — like wrestling a bagel this morning? Or you didn’t shower yesterday…

 

Every driver I come into contact with.
Going too slow or riding my ass. I have very, very — little patience and a short attention spam. Either speed up or move aside so the real drivers can drive!

 

Every person in Walmart — who hasn’t bathed in weeks.
The cheap perfume/cologne doesn’t cover up the be-o, smell of shit, cigarettes, alcohol, and condoms…

Back to school checklist

Items.

 

Aspirin [ ]
Coffee [ ]
Soda [ ]
Energy drinks [ ]

 

There’s no way in the hell you can live without it.

 

Music that makes you want to…

 

Kill someone [ ]
Dance [ ]
Sleep [ ]

 

Must either get you motivated, happy, relaxed, or make you less bored then you already are.

 

Accessories.

 

Sneakers [ ]
Sunglasses [ ]
Hat [ ]
Hoodie [ ]

 

That way you can go burn off energy by going for a run/working out at the gym when you get angry – or hide when you don’t want to deal with people.