Do I miss…

For a while until it became disgusting.

Ice cream
You kidding me? I still eat it.

… Yeah right like I’d give that up.

Not really. It’s nothing but sugar.

No. I like my margaritas but I didn’t drink them enough to be like ‘I can’t live without it!’

I lived some 20 something years without it and didn’t do it that much, I manage.

… I have less interest and desire in it now.

Lifting heavier things
Hell no. It lets me sit on my ass at work sometimes.

Working out
I still do, not as insane I did before — and it kinda sucks having to think about what I’m doing every time.

My clothes
You mean fitting in my shirts and tank tops like I did normally while watching my stomach grow? Yes.

Things guys don’t quite understand

I just came home, don’t talk to me

Especially joke. Chances are I’m hungry, tired, or miserable. If I was happy, you would know it — then and only then say whatever you want.


I can tell you’re looking at me

I get it, it’s normal to look at someone if they appear somewhat attractive, interesting, or weird. You could at least not make it obvious you are looking.


If I don’t laugh, I don’t think you’re funny

Just strange or annoying.


I can’t look you in the eye

I’m telling you what you want to hear to get you off my back. I’m clearly not interested.


If I laugh, I might like you

I’m not going to make the next move, it’s up to you.


If I have another man, it shouldn’t stop you

Just because I have a man doesn’t mean I’m going to stay with him forever. There is nothing wrong with us talking, it’s not like we are going to have sex.


I didn’t ‘fix’ myself for you

My hair looks good. My clothes look good. I didn’t do it for you, boo. I’m either going somewhere and/or did it for the hell of it — because that is how I am.

What Characters names mean

Hello Kitty
Bye You-Shitty


Kiss me I’m Bella


Bird man


Steroid man


Rap in hell


Hell yeah


Prince Eric
Rich prick


Creep on steroids


Air head


Ring her bell


Peter Pan
Later man


Ride me up


Easter Bunny
Easy honey


Kiss my ass


I ran




Snow White
Now I ate

I would FIRE, if I could

The person who made my coffee this morning.
There’s way too much cream and sugar in it. This keeps happening! WHY!?


It doesn’t hold water. It spills it everywhere!


The fridge.
It doesn’t have any good food I want. At all times it should, even if I ate all of it yesterday.


It is supposed to not get dirty — or clean itself if it does. Why do I always have to do it?


Boring. I’m better off going to Facebook for my news. At least I get to see pictures of a volcano exploding.


The guy on the elliptical next to me who smells like onions.
Every day at 7am. Do you have a legit reason for smelling like onions — like wrestling a bagel this morning? Or you didn’t shower yesterday…


Every driver I come into contact with.
Going too slow or riding my ass. I have very, very — little patience and a short attention spam. Either speed up or move aside so the real drivers can drive!


Every person in Walmart — who hasn’t bathed in weeks.
The cheap perfume/cologne doesn’t cover up the be-o, smell of shit, cigarettes, alcohol, and condoms…

Back to school checklist



Aspirin [ ]
Coffee [ ]
Soda [ ]
Energy drinks [ ]


There’s no way in the hell you can live without it.


Music that makes you want to…


Kill someone [ ]
Dance [ ]
Sleep [ ]


Must either get you motivated, happy, relaxed, or make you less bored then you already are.




Sneakers [ ]
Sunglasses [ ]
Hat [ ]
Hoodie [ ]


That way you can go burn off energy by going for a run/working out at the gym when you get angry – or hide when you don’t want to deal with people.