Working at a dying mall on Black Friday

… Or any Saturday in the year.

1. I work for THE MALL, not a company or a store.
2. It’s just as busy as a Saturday when there is an event going on — lots of foot traffic, not a lot of messes or spending going on.
3. But the tenants are equally annoying and expect you to drop everything to sweep up some dirt.
4. Yes, I work here — no I’m not walking around with a broom for my health!
5. No we’re not hiring! Unless you’re maintenance, we apparently like to hire idiot men that do nothing but sit back here all day. Don’t send a resume, you have to be related to/friends with someone that works here to get a job!
6. I don’t want to pick up your wrappers because you’re too LAZY to walk 2 inches to throw it in the trash!
7. Realize NOTHING here is on sale! They had the same 10% off for MONTHS!
8. That store hasn’t been here in over a decade.
9. No I don’t know nor care what each store sells.
10. No I don’t know where the store that left 5 months ago went nor care!
11. I don’t keep tabs on shit.
12. Someone broke into your car? What do you want me to do? I’m not security. Security is just as useless. Call the cops on your cell phone.

Things I’m not buying in 2020

More makeup I don’t need
I bought 3 palettes in 2019 and only use a few shades out of 2 of them! It cost me $150 I could have spent on something else!

Music from iTunes
Even if I’m bored in my car, I always have Sirius or the ability to play something off YouTube. At the gym I listen to music on YouTube or watch videos. I have no need to download music anymore…

Another winter coat
I’ve had the same one for a few years now. I don’t see the point in getting something I don’t really want or need for the season I hate the most.

A calendar
My husband got one from work for free…

L’Oréal Paris colorista
‘Semi-permanent’ and ‘will washout in a few washes’ my ass. I did it in the beginning of October and here it is almost December… I still have some green shit in my hair (it was blue for 2 days).

A watch
I don’t think I ever bought a watch? My mother did for me — in the 90s! I have a cell phone that tells me the time. Last thing I need is more jewelry sitting in a jewelry box not being worn…

Brands that were more relevant in high school

Hollister
If you didn’t wear at least a shirt from there, you might as well sit in a corner. You’d even be an outcast to the outcasts.

Today: You see the store around in malls and a few middle schoolers wearing it. I wonder if the reputation ‘hollister is for skinny people’ had anything to do with it?

 

Hot topic
All the cool outcasts shopped there, just not you.

Today: Of course they still exist but where? They’re not in every mall. Should you see one? You may go in for body jewelry or a cool T-shirt, maybe — but you can get that shit cheaper elsewhere!

 

Old Navy
The only socially acceptable place (besides Gap) to buy your clothes if you can’t afford Hollister. Why? It’s still from the mall. An “old navy” shirt means you didn’t get it from Walmart or Kmart.

Today: You probably still shop there for a few things? Why? Because there not ridiculously priced and have sales.

 

Gap
The brand preppy kids with money wore. Did you care if you wore it, nope. Their clothes weren’t that cute.

Today: A grandma probably shops there.

 

Aeropostale
If you didn’t shop there at least once, you weren’t a teenager. Hell an outcast of the outcasts again.

Today: They still exist? Where? I haven’t seen them in a mall over a decade.

 

American Eagle
People loved to get their jeans from until they found out their teacher did too.

Today: They still exist? They’re also leaving malls.

 

Victoria’s Secret pink
It didn’t really start to become a thing until I left high school in 2008. It was mainly a thing for college kids.

Today: 40 year old women and 13 year olds are wearing it! Seems like, the last couple years not so much!

 

Forever 21
Some popular snobs people wanted to be like shopped there.

Today: You realize those popular snobs didn’t have money, they could get those clothes on sale there. Hell, you’ve shopped there more after high school — until they started making most of their shirts crop tops! You’re not ‘forever 21’ anymore, you’re 30!

 

Today
The only brand name stuff I own is from Victoria’s Secret/Pink,(because their clothes are worth the money and cute) some Under Armour and Adidas. I only spend money on crap I’m going to wear, keep awhile, and doesn’t break the bank. The fuck I care where it’s from? I don’t. It’s eventually going to end up in the trash or donated. I’m also a pretty basic Target mom…