“That time of month,” you shouldn’t say to girls…

“You look like you gained some weight. You sure you’re not pregnant?”
I gained five pounds in water weight. Dumbass.

 

“You shouldn’t eat ice cream for dinner.”
You want to see me without my chocolate ice cream? Alright. That’s permission to be a bitch.

 

“Your boobs are bigger. Did you gain weight?”
No shit. No, I just decided to stuff my bra today. Dumbass.

 

“Is your period almost over?”
Why am I that much of a bitch? Or you want to get laid?

 

“I knew your period was coming, that’s why I wanted to have more sex.”
You’re full of shit.

 

“How are you feeling?”
I’m going to punch you in the face if you ask me that again.

 

“You should stop drinking soda, you’re breaking out.”
Soda has nothing to do with it. It’s hormonal.

 

“We need to talk.”
Where is the pitch fork?