“Beat them up,”

she said. Like me going to jail is worth it. I wouldn’t just lose the job I already hate. Forget any future government job or any decent job period with that on your record.

I’m sure I could. There’s no doubt in my mind I couldn’t. I mean, I did through out a girls arm only a few weeks after having a baby. If you don’t know what I’m capable of, why mess with me? You’re an idiot.

Let’s bring you back to my childhood. I wasn’t raised to be violent but to defend myself. So some boys took my shit or tackled on me to attempt to kiss me, I punched them in the face. Not the best way to handle but how do you expect a 4-5 year old to react? You want them to react that way and run when a creep tries to get them in their van!

There’s nothing special about me. I grew up in the projects, my parents spilt when I was 11, I lived in the country, I have a lot of siblings, my mother died of cancer when I was 27, I have a baby, etc.

People think there is because I’m quiet? Hey, I come here and do my business then leave. I don’t come to this place to make friends. Why would I? I hate my fucking job. So does majority of the population.

Unfiltered COVID thoughts

‘It’s not political people are dying’
Yeah, that’s why the big man is doing little but trying to get us checks. And people spend more time talking about it then anything.

Stop trying to normalize masks.
There’s nothing normal about wearing a stupid cloth on half your face. The only thing it prevents really, is from people smelling your bad breath and seeing you frown.

‘But it prevents…’
It’s not political? OKAY, show me hard scientific facts it does anything.

The last thing I want is for my daughter to grow up with this shit.
There’s nothing ‘normal’ about it. I hope it’s all gone by the time she goes to school. If not, I’d love to quit my job and homeschool here.

No, she is NOT wearing one when she turns 2.
Even if this thing is still going on. I’d rather not take her out in public, like I do now. Besides she won’t do anything but try to suffocate herself with it.

Are you a worker?
If not stop bitching about wearing a mask when you go out in public. An hour or two is a lot different than 40 hours a week.

Go ahead refuse wearing one
but it’s not going to help you get what you want. So your other choice is not go out.

Sincerely, the critics

That’s not straight enough.
You missed a spot.
That’s a little dusty.
It smells over there.

Why don’t you get off your ass and do something? Oh, because you’re lazy and expect me too like I don’t literally take card of everything already.
You don’t have enough experience.

 
That’s cute but what does your written work qualify you for an actual job?
What does your experience mean? You can polish my shoes or sleep with all the men? Haha.
You’re pretty but well that’s it.

I’m overqualified to be managed by anyone. You need me a lot more than I need you. What I have nobody else does is, drive and energy. If you can’t see that, you can kiss my ass.

Reported

his ass and his girlfriend
so they can all hate me
and not my sister
he’s a snake
she does nothing all day
but probably fuck him
in the service halls
who cares
I’m not there anymore

should they remember
I was there first and
with him
haha

reputation proceeds me
I’m sure
but remember I’m also
not the one that said
‘DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR KEYS?
I miss you?’
what about your girlfriend?
‘WHO CARES’
it never happened
it never will

but here we go,
I’ve stumbled upon
another man interested
in my personal life
giving off some vibes
it doesn’t end

The mall was

the first one I went too as a kid
It had a ‘magic’ fountain back then

the place I went too as a teenager to get all my school clothes (they had stores back then)

where I met my future husband online from at dating website for the first time

my place of employment for three years

the place I was working at when my mother was diagnosed with cancer

where I got involved with someone I didn’t know was a satanist until he told me

where I was after I received a phone call she was dead, clocked in and out of work that day upset

where I my supervisor and I fell in love and had a fucked up relationship

the place I was working at when I was pregnant and had to leave when I was in labor

job I returned too after having a baby

job I worked with my sister and got to see here several days a week

also the job the owner tried to fuck me over numerous times and pocketed my PFL and I sued him

the place with a toxic environment and shitty new supervisor that also sexually assaulted with his girlfriend nearby

the place that wanted me back during this COVID shit part time (less money, less time with my daughter) and after everything, I didn’t see why I should it was a good place once years ago…

and so I left and got a new one

Memories of my dad?

He would take me to the store
to go grocery shopping and out
for ice cream every week
with my mother’s paycheck
he didn’t work
he used to be a cook
in the coast guard
he retired

Of course,
I didn’t know that
when I was super young
I sat on his big belly
and ate popcorn
the neighbors
thought he was ‘mexican’
or part ‘black’
because he had tan skin

I know he’s not
I tan well too and
took a DNA test
I’m 100% European
a fancy way to say
‘Caucasian’

I remember the times
he forced us to go to
church and slapped me
once on my side
because I was having
a tantrum
later he apologized
he didn’t know how to
punish kids
that’s why I was
running around
and getting in trouble
while he was at the casino
drinking and gambling away
all my mother’s money

Then they split when I was 11
my mother moved us in
with a narcissistic asshole
that said he ‘thought of
himself as our father’
my father tried to visit
us once and he got into
a fight with my mother
that was the end of that
he called us only
on or around holidays
sometimes our mother
had us go to church on
holidays to see him
that’s it

But he continued to call
and still does to this day
I hardly ever answer
I’m 30
he’s a stranger to me
but he’s showed up when
my daughter was born
the man that thought
of himself as my father
didn’t, he fell out
the moment my mother died
to another woman’s arms
and sent us a ‘goodbye’
text a few days after
Ava was born

And he wondered why
I never said ‘happy fathers day’
being there to be there
doesn’t make you
neither does sperm apparently
but thank you,
I hardly ever sunburn

My only hope now
is my daughter
has a father
even though I can’t
promise we’ll be
together forever

She is

that woman
once, twice
a million times
but not for you

Secretive
manipulative
has her own schedule
and way of doing things
none include you
but she lets you think
what you want
she’s aware she flirts
and teases him
she does it for fun

Why fight the enemy
when the enemy wants
to sleep with you
and has information
you may or may not use
it’s only a matter of time
before he blows shit
up himself and you watch

She doesn’t care
enough to bother
I mean, she has a man
does it stop her from
looking and thinking
about others? No,
it’s in her nature not
to be tied down
who she does actually
play with she has to like
at least a bit
and have
physical attraction
respect

What you mean respect?
she sounds like a whore
they say
she’s not but she can be
don’t shove her in a corner
and bore the shit
out of her

She loyal?
depends
what did you do?
why should she be?
She knows what she
wants this ain’t it

She loves
she’s not in love
she has no intent
in ever falling
in love again
she’s fast
she can’t fall

‘Text an ex in isolation’

The dumbest headline I’ve seen all week.

If you’re single, okay. You have nothing to lose but your pride, ego, and mind. If you’re in a relationship, you’re playing with fire. Especially if your partner doesn’t know, it’s ‘emotionally cheating’ and leads to more drama than it’s worth. If you and your ex are able to be strictly friends, congratulations. That’s often not the case.

Been there, done that back in the day. Ultimately lead to me sleeping with them. Conflict? No, not really. More like okay, I’m completely over you and it wasn’t that good. What was I thinking? Hey, if that’s what you need to do to move on, go ahead. But if you’re trying to fill a void, it’s going to get you nowhere. Temporary fix for a problem. I know ‘isolation’ is boring and traumatic for some. What is talking to your ex going to do? Bring back things that should have stayed in the past.

I’m not saying you can’t fix it and get back together, and stay together. I’ve been there too. You know how many times my husband broke up and got back together? Too many. Because every time we broke up it lasted 24-72 hours. Eventually you need to grow the fuck and stop the bullshit. Yes, I’m quoting my mother and will probably say this to my daughter someday.

Working out at home

Fine
Great
If you don’t have a baby
and a husband stopping you
multiple times
or have to work around
everyone’s sleep
or ‘not too’ loud schedule
I live in a basement
in a duplex
there’s no other place
I can go too
and be left the fuck alone
that’s why I have/had
GYM memberships but
they’re all CLOSED
everything is CLOSED
now we have all this
‘free time’ and we can’t
do much of anything
but go outside,
around the
governments schedule

What is free will?
I don’t know
as they’ve seen
numbers ‘social distancing’
isn’t stopping the numbers
they need to focus
more on a vaccine?
Or who knows
it could be a thing like
chickenpox we all need
to catch it to be immune

Last day of work

My boss decided to keep maintenance because they’re ‘essential’ and have work to do. Despite there being an EXECUTIVE ORDER to shut it down completely. She said, “Maybe you can get unemployment.” HAHA. Yeah, tell me how that’s going for you and your men now? They’re 100% gone.

Then there was my favorite person, my ‘supervisor’ passive aggressive towards me because I told my sister (I work with) everything that’s going on. Does he know that per say? Yeah probably she wasn’t working that day I had to play messenger for my boss. Maybe his girlfriend wasn’t pleasing him again that day, who knows. Oh, I do because every time there’s an issue between them he makes passes at me and texts me asking for pictures? (LOL, I do/did work at the least professional place.) She doesn’t have a clue. I’m just glad I got away from that toxic bullshit.