Agh

I am mad
I’ve tried everything
I could to forget about it
I talked to people about it
I talked to the source,
I ran, skated, focused on my baby, punched a bag, applied to other jobs,
got drunk, seduced my man, slept on it,
and went for a ride
there’s nothing left
for me to do but
move on
and try to get another job
again
what if I can’t?
the vicious cycle continues
it’s easy for me to ignore
everyone but kinda hard
when I’d have to face them
again
and I guess, go back
to my writing and hope
someday it’s enough
to get me the hell out

Footage of an ‘Aquarius moon’ experiencing emotions

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..

I don’t feel anything. I’m emotionally numb and retarded. The only emotions I know are lust, desire, passion, and anger. I only feel lust, desire, and passion in bed. After I do it there’s nothing there. I’m empty. Someone pisses me off, I turn in 2 seconds to a raging asshole. Do I yell? Not unless I’m married to you. Strangers, acquittances, and co-workers I can forget about just as fast as they pissed me off. But if, I don’t I have some history, relationship, or interest in you — it’s different. I stay mad longer. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m mad until I’m alone in my head. Do anything about it? I try. But sometimes, the physical and creative work I do isn’t enough. So I get drunk and high a bit. It does nothing but get me out of myself. Do I have a problem? No. I don’t think drinking a few times a month or smoking weed once a blue moon means you have a problem. It’s a problem when you use them as a crutch. I don’t. I wish I could but that’s not me. I have a daughter now. I would never put her or myself in that position. I don’t even do those things when she’s around. I don’t judge people but they judge me. I don’t care enough about people in general to care what they’re doing.

Thoughts about the election

I’m aware I said I was going to let my URL expire, and I did. I haven’t decided yet if I’m creating a new one and so I am here to talk about the bullshit going on.

 

#1 If so many of you have an issue with Trump, why didn’t you vote?
I can’t tell you how many people I came across that said they didn’t vote, though they are registered and had nothing going on that’d prevent them from taking a few minutes out of their day to mark a sheet of paper. You can’t expect someone to win a election if you don’t vote for them. Then piss, moan, and start a riot over it like an child.

 

#2 Not happy with the result? Change it.
Go sign the petition https://www.change.org/p/electoral-college-electors-electoral-college-make-hillary-clinton-president-on-december-19. It probably won’t do anything about it given the rules set in the system for two hundred years. You could start another protest though all it would do is annoy the shit out of people. You could plan for the future so something like this doesn’t happen again.

 

#3 Take in consideration of what you’re asking people to do and if you would seriously do it in their shoes.
If you liked the person you originally voted for or pledged to, would you change the vote? Hell no. Would a bunch of protesters yelling at you, sending you messages, etc change your vote? Nope. What would you think of it? It’s ridiculous they expect me to change my view, sacrifice my job, and/or pay a fine for them because they don’t like the candidate. They wouldn’t do the same for me, why should I do it for them? I shouldn’t. I have nothing to gain from it. When are these people going to move on, grow up, and stop acting like children.

 

#4 I’m not crazy about who won either (and I did vote, for Hillary)
You don’t see me going around making a scene, posting about it on social media, or complaining to everyone I know about it. Why? Because that’s not me. He did say a lot of things I didn’t agree with either. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad man, but maybe a bad mouth. I don’t know him very well, I just know what I’ve heard. I know you shouldn’t a judge a person by their words but actions. Wait to see his actions, not words. Everyone deserves a chance. And if you disagree, do something to change it. Don’t go around like an angry child. It shows you’re the bad one, not him. Just my opinion nobody asked for but we all get sick of the nonsense.