‘Front desk’

I answer the phone the same way every time, “Thank you for calling …. How may I help you?”

Why? It’s easier for me and I was trained to be a robot. I was told I can’t say “Hello” when I answer the phone it’s unprofessional. I said the girl that trained me did. She’s said it right in front of them, they thought nothing of it. Hypocrisy.

I say, “One moment please,” to everyone and put everyone on hold. Why? I direct calls. That’s it. I don’t schedule appointments. I’m not going to dig up information. Not my issue. I often receive multiple calls at once. So you’re lucky you get in. Now shut the fuck up and wait or don’t fucking call.

It’s also not my issue how long you wait or if someone picks up. Hello, people are paged numerous times. One particular person is an asshole and never answers when I page. You get his voicemail. It’s aggravating to me because each time he doesn’t answer it beeps back to me numerous times. Then I again, have to stop what I’m working on.

So no, I don’t just answer the phone. They make me do stupid accounting and sorting shit. Neither I’m qualified for but not my issue.

And I have to talk to EVERY SINGLE person that comes in and screen their temperature. Reads 93.5, 94.7, 93.8, 95.1, etc. Super fucking low and inaccurate but they make me do it. If someone actually had a fever, it wouldn’t catch it. I can’t imagine 93.5 is a normal or healthy temperature?

MyPhone

I started with
freshmen year in college
I got by signing a contract
and exceeding
my data and minutes
every month

I dropped her
riding my bicycle
she shattered
I had to go back to
‘old school’ ones

Then one day a few years
later I got one
dropped her
on the solid gym floor
settled with a droid
I found annoying

My boyfriend asked me
to marry him and put me
on his plan
I had her back
I was 1000% committed
when I dropped her
she didn’t break
one day she got a tiny crack

I heard the new ones
were coming out and
put her rest
didn’t sell
at least not yet