Atypical

white rich man
dresses in suits
drives some expensive
sport car that sucks
in the snow
has Trump stickers,
hats, signs, etc
all over his office
to vote for him
because you don’t
like or trust the other candidate
is one thing but to actually
full on support and like him
is another… in my opinion

I’m forced to go in
each morning
and collect his trash
I can tell he never
brings anything,
always orders
I did too, when I worked
at a mall with disgusting food
who am I to judge
no one

Exactly my point
you’re old enough
to be my father
I don’t want any
stupid flowers or
awkward conversations
and interactions with you
cut the chase
no, I’m not going there
with you
I’d sleep with the man
moving all shit around
before you
and he doesn’t even
have a car

Sincerely, the critics

That’s not straight enough.
You missed a spot.
That’s a little dusty.
It smells over there.

Why don’t you get off your ass and do something? Oh, because you’re lazy and expect me too like I don’t literally take card of everything already.
You don’t have enough experience.

 
That’s cute but what does your written work qualify you for an actual job?
What does your experience mean? You can polish my shoes or sleep with all the men? Haha.
You’re pretty but well that’s it.

I’m overqualified to be managed by anyone. You need me a lot more than I need you. What I have nobody else does is, drive and energy. If you can’t see that, you can kiss my ass.

The past

doesn’t define us
but helps us better
understand the present
and future
so, people
said or did a lot
of shit they shouldn’t
have been doing
(who hasn’t?)
they shouldn’t be hung
for it but at the same
time, they need to be
accountable and should
have taken into
consideration
hey, this might bite
me in the ass someday
and make me lose things
I’ve worked hard for

that’s why your mother
told you to
“think before you speak”

“I’m…”
“But I was…”
“I wasn’t…”
the world is done
with your excuses
look at everything
going on in the world
nobody gives a fuck
about ‘oh, poor you’
especially when you’re
an adult and have all
this money
while a lot of us
are actually struggling

It’s time to wake up
nobody cares to listen
to your narcissistic bullshit
so go back to flaunting
what you have
crying online
and posting pictures
see how many people
click ‘mute‘
(you won’t know)
or unfollow your ass

‘Pick a topic’

What? I feel like I’ve written everything and now you expect me to focus on one thing. Haha. Yeah right.

What is going on now? Nothing. What about politics and protests? Do I look like a protester myself? I’m not. God damn. Do you really need another person to tell you how fucked up everything is? You don’t.

My old friend said I’m boring now because I have a kid. Yeah, I am. I also can’t help there’s nothing to do. Some people only find you interesting when you’re fucking around. Why? That’s when you have stories.

Oh, I can write what’s going on in my mind. I don’t even think it’s my business what I’m thinking. It’s a recipe for disaster. I’m sure you’ve seen some of my writing, you really wanna know what else goes on in my head? Haha.

Footage of an ‘Aquarius moon’ experiencing emotions

.
..

I don’t feel anything. I’m emotionally numb and retarded. The only emotions I know are lust, desire, passion, and anger. I only feel lust, desire, and passion in bed. After I do it there’s nothing there. I’m empty. Someone pisses me off, I turn in 2 seconds to a raging asshole. Do I yell? Not unless I’m married to you. Strangers, acquittances, and co-workers I can forget about just as fast as they pissed me off. But if, I don’t I have some history, relationship, or interest in you — it’s different. I stay mad longer. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m mad until I’m alone in my head. Do anything about it? I try. But sometimes, the physical and creative work I do isn’t enough. So I get drunk and high a bit. It does nothing but get me out of myself. Do I have a problem? No. I don’t think drinking a few times a month or smoking weed once a blue moon means you have a problem. It’s a problem when you use them as a crutch. I don’t. I wish I could but that’s not me. I have a daughter now. I would never put her or myself in that position. I don’t even do those things when she’s around. I don’t judge people but they judge me. I don’t care enough about people in general to care what they’re doing.

Things I’m already over with in 2020

Celebrity makeup lines
We’ve heard it 50 million times now by pretty much everyone.

Makeup. Period.
How many more palettes and foundations does the world need? At least it gives people that aren’t millionaires already jobs.

Waiting in lines to get coffee
I’m too lazy to make it myself but I have a coffee maker!? It’s free to make but what the fuck well I’m bored with everything they sell in stores too.

Marriage. Babies.
Yeah, I’m aware I’m married and have a baby! That’s the point. They both irritate the shit out of me and I wonder why I did any of it in the first place. And no, I’m not even thinking about another!

Facebook
Yeah, the first week of January in 2020 I was gone. It was the BEST decision I’ve made on the internet in my life!

Etsy
Okay, I’ll be fair a lot of people were good crafters and sellers BUT that one, that didn’t respond and try to make me look stupid to get my money — I’m done. I got my money back so they can kiss my ass.

Publishing on Amazon!?!
They take a lot of your profit. And the playing field is huge, obviously. I don’t care if I’m a known writer, I care if I’m making more then $6 when I publish shit.

Election
I don’t know whose running or really care. I may or may not vote. Bite me. All that matters is Trump is out of the office and less an idiot takes over.

My hair
I’ve had ‘platinum’ or ‘near platinum’ blonde hair for years. Natural when I was younger until I hit like 16 — I started coloring it because I didn’t like more roots were darker? I used some natural light blonde product on it with no bleach. Around when I was 18 I was like holly fuck, my hair looks like it’s turning red (a strawberry blonde?) so I started using blonde dye with little bleach in it. And here I am, 30 and seeing those same undertones in my hair. So I wonder… no I’d probably regret it.

Brands that were more relevant in high school

Hollister
If you didn’t wear at least a shirt from there, you might as well sit in a corner. You’d even be an outcast to the outcasts.

Today: You see the store around in malls and a few middle schoolers wearing it. I wonder if the reputation ‘hollister is for skinny people’ had anything to do with it?

 

Hot topic
All the cool outcasts shopped there, just not you.

Today: Of course they still exist but where? They’re not in every mall. Should you see one? You may go in for body jewelry or a cool T-shirt, maybe — but you can get that shit cheaper elsewhere!

 

Old Navy
The only socially acceptable place (besides Gap) to buy your clothes if you can’t afford Hollister. Why? It’s still from the mall. An “old navy” shirt means you didn’t get it from Walmart or Kmart.

Today: You probably still shop there for a few things? Why? Because there not ridiculously priced and have sales.

 

Gap
The brand preppy kids with money wore. Did you care if you wore it, nope. Their clothes weren’t that cute.

Today: A grandma probably shops there.

 

Aeropostale
If you didn’t shop there at least once, you weren’t a teenager. Hell an outcast of the outcasts again.

Today: They still exist? Where? I haven’t seen them in a mall over a decade.

 

American Eagle
People loved to get their jeans from until they found out their teacher did too.

Today: They still exist? They’re also leaving malls.

 

Victoria’s Secret pink
It didn’t really start to become a thing until I left high school in 2008. It was mainly a thing for college kids.

Today: 40 year old women and 13 year olds are wearing it! Seems like, the last couple years not so much!

 

Forever 21
Some popular snobs people wanted to be like shopped there.

Today: You realize those popular snobs didn’t have money, they could get those clothes on sale there. Hell, you’ve shopped there more after high school — until they started making most of their shirts crop tops! You’re not ‘forever 21’ anymore, you’re 30!

 

Today
The only brand name stuff I own is from Victoria’s Secret/Pink,(because their clothes are worth the money and cute) some Under Armour and Adidas. I only spend money on crap I’m going to wear, keep awhile, and doesn’t break the bank. The fuck I care where it’s from? I don’t. It’s eventually going to end up in the trash or donated. I’m also a pretty basic Target mom…

Thoughts on video services

YouTube
You know there’s a thing you can pay YouTube to watch some movies and shows? I know nothing about it. I go on YouTube to watch people fuck up their face, rant, listen to music,
and do dumb shit I wouldn’t do in everyday life — for FREE.

 

Netflix
You’re not only losing subscribers because you raised prices. You’re losing subscribers because your content sucks. Don’t get me wrong, SOME originals are good. Most of them are garbage. Most of the time when I go on my account I wonder ‘why am I still here?’ they don’t put any new movies or shows out I want to watch.

 

Hulu
OKAY. Here we finally have some NEW content but limited selection unless I want to pay for an add-on and I don’t. If I’m that desperate to watch something, someone in the house still pays for cable or I could do a simple google search online and watch it somewhere else.

 

Amazon prime video
Why Amazon? Is it because you’re already the king on the internet and you thought you should have some sort of streaming service too? At least I have a last resort if I can’t find the movie or show I’m looking for. But I’m not a prime member and you should stop asking me to sign up for it every time I click on something on the website.

Updated thoughts on social media

Twitter
Okay, it was booming more when I wrote about it 3 years ago. Now it’s really just a place for celebrities to listen to them to talk and have their obsessed fans and trolls watch.

Instagram
The place anyone or everyone would rather share a photo these days. Why? You don’t know all the people that will see it and you most likely don’t have to deal with unwanted acquittances or family members commenting on it — they have no idea how to use it!

Facebook
Still seems to be the place all your unwanted acquittances and family members hit up to see what you’re doing. Jokes on them, you hardly post anything on your profile! Doesn’t stop them from creeping.

Snapchat
Everyone loves the filters but not everyone uses it regularly. Why? It’s another service you’d have to put an effort in to gain followers or to follow people or things you’re interested in that you already follow in other places and see the same content.

Tik Tok
That’s new. Again another service you’d have to put some sort of effort in and not everyone or everything you’re interested in is on it.

The problems with gyms

I’ve been going to a gym for a decade now. It’s a great place to do your thing for the most part but…

 

They’re disgusting
If you go to one of those more expensive gyms, it’s probably clean. If you go to open of those basic or cheap gyms, it’s not. The locker rooms/restrooms are dirty to the point you notice the same shit marks that’s been in the toilet for weeks.

 

Why? They’re probably understaffed/don’t care.

Let me tell you the week I worked at a basic gym — I was the only cleaner and I worked at night. The manager bombed my phone with texts of complaints throughout the day instead of doing anything about it. Urinals were clogged with literal shit and gum. I kept finding clumps of hair everywhere. I said it was bad for my health and quit (because it was, you had all these germs and shit floating around and I was the only person to do anything about it).

 

Most of them have contracts
You suddenly have to move? They don’t care. You suddenly get sick or have some restriction where you can’t workout? They don’t care. They want their money. It doesn’t matter if you use the facility or services they offer or not.

Hell, when I got pregnant I stopped going to ‘elite kickboxing’ and here I am 9 months in and still paying for it! They said I could have 3 ‘free’ months when I come back. Bitch, it’s not free I had to pay for it! And you probably will require me to sign another contract! Fuck that. I’ll go read up other gym contracts that don’t want to charge me through the roof.

 

There’s different types of gym goers

The ones that only go to the gym to socialize… in the locker room or stand by a person when they workout and talk for a good 30 minutes. It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t in your way or if you couldn’t hear them. Even with earphones you can!

The ones that pay no attention to their surroundings and cut you off when they walk.

The ones that try to start a conversation with you about your appearance or workout routine… they’re really impressed and don’t appear to get out much.

The ones that smell… everyone sweats okay but not everyone wants your smelly ass in their space.

And the ones that used the locker room as a vanity room and sprays loads of perfume on. We get it, you smell and probably have to go to work after. But what makes you think spraying a ridiculous amount of cheap perfume is going to make you smell better?

 

 

Why can’t all gyms just I don’t know, not be disgusting, have no contracts, or people that need to get in your way one way or another? Because it’s too simple to exist.