Forget about it

work after work
they think all I do is
answer the phone
no, I get to pickup
everyone else’s shit
and you know what?
I’m bad at math
I hate math
I hate people
kudos to the few
people who think
I don’t recognize them
or anything, despite
what you think or know
about me, I’ve an
excellent memory

next point, I have none
I honestly don’t care
but this one pain in the ass
won’t leave me alone
never stops teasing me
or being awkward
and I’m not patient
that’s my point
the question is how long?

Woman

I’m not going to
go get the manager
don’t ask me the same
question I just answered
I don’t know what goes
in other departments nor care

stop acting like
you’re going to burst
in tears or set the place
on fire must be
PMS or menopause
can’t relate
I’m a raging bitch
all the time
but better at hiding it

move on
you can’t
you don’t stop talking
at least shut up
enough so I can get
some writing
done in peace
haha
let’s tie this cord
around your neck
and make everything more
then it is
the end

Man

I am a writer
but I’m not a talker
you want to know
what I’m thinking
I’ll show you
you don’t
you’re afraid
behind that ego
you think you’re
too old
unappealing
and have to be
professional
at all times
let me tell you
it’s a joke
only people
with their heads
up their asses
give a shit

so maybe
you’re right
you’re unappealing
the egocentric
masked clown is
actually insecure
and doesn’t know
how to approach women
and you think
because I’m laughing
I don’t see it
honey, my gift is
seeing

So, he thinks

I would

bang her but no

she’s younger than me

married and has

a daughter 

that’d be wrong 

on many levels 

and I am what?

out of shape 

she could

kick my ass

that’s kinda of hot 

but who am I kidding? 

never

she’s a little too giggly

towards me I can’t send

her the wrong vibe 

I’m not interested 

I like talking to her 

she’s interesting but 

can’t spell my name?

unless she did that

on purpose

how is she a writer 

if she can’t spell?

her titles are fucked up

I can’t find her on the internet 

why?

How to flirt with a writer

Who am I? What do I do?

You’re the pain in the ass I’m supposed to call. 

What’s the name of your favorite novel you wrote?

Ah which one?

When do I develop a title?

I always do at the end. 

Right you see I have this story with no title, am I doing it right?

Sure. 

Hi.

Hi. 

Hi. 

Hi. 


What are you thinking of?

Are you jacked? What do you look like with your shirt off? Fuck my life. 

“I like your voice”

he said

I think it’s a lie

everyone should be

sick of me  

I’m sick of listening 

to myself

that’s what I do 

besides deal with people 

petty shit no one 

can be bothered with

all shit I hate 

I don’t know

how I ended up here 

beats cleaning and I 

get paid to 

‘work on my novels’

nobody knows

I stay in my lane

even if I thought 

something was attractive 

about him I sure as hell

wouldn’t say anything

unless we

exchanged numbers 

haha 

not happening 

been there done that 


you should hear my

true voice

yeah, when I’m yelling

at my husband or kid

or the fucking douchebag

driving

His voice

sounds familiar 

not quite like his was 

but too inviting 

I know he’s trying 

to be nice or professional 

yet the way he looks

at me says otherwise 

attraction maybe 

on whose or what end

I’ve hardly had a look

at his face 

he’s tan and has nice arms 

shit

I’m not doing that again 

though desks and empty 

places were fun 

Honest Article

Here’s pictures of random shit anyone can find on the internet: ____

I got this idea by staring at my ceiling. Really. I have two dream catchers hanging in my room.

I going to word vomit the obvious because you’re talking about paying me for my work.

I don’t know nothing more about this topic. I would love to leave you some pictures and links and you can look at it yourself. Who reads literary magazines anyway?

I don’t but I’m thinking about creating one. Haha. I’m a dumbass but I love being in control – of my fucking life and work. It’s no wonder I left my last job. I’m not a ‘yes man’.

I’m probably not going to be your intern either. More like, I’ll be looking for interns in the future if I expand. I have my own website. Why do I need to write shit on some man’s website? Because he MIGHT pay me. Haha. Next.

“We married our first love,”

said some broad from a 90s show I heard but didn’t watch. She also said that’s why they were divorced or not happy. Then I can’t help but think of my first love.

To be honest, I don’t even know. I’ve been in and out of love numerous times in my life. So it makes me wonder, what is the legit feeling? The feeling of being ‘in love’ fades whether you’re with someone for six months or years.

I think back to when I was seventeen and ‘in love’ with this guy from Argentina. I talked to him for years and he helped me get over my middle school crush I blamed for my eating disorder back then. ‘He liked a model and it wasn’t me, I’m blahblahblah’ teenager garbage. Long story short I eventually met him and my mother sent my big brother to kick his ass. She was pissed I met someone off the internet. We still snuck around and talked. We were going to runaway to NYC and get married. My dream was to be a model (HAHA) and he wanted to be director. He asked me to marry him and even started working on my ring.

I’m not sure what happened next but I guess, I developed a crush on a college boy and he was history. Then I had one relationship after another, sometimes with multiple people, and told him about it. So, we still talked only as friends and occasionally do to this day.

Now I’m married and have an one and half year old. He’s still single but I guess he’s happy in whatever country he’s in doing photography. My dream is and always been writing and editing. It’s crazy to think it’s been fourteen years.

Anger issues

Slow people
Hurry up or get the fuck out of my way

Slow drivers
MOVE or I’ll make you move I’ve already planned out every scenario in my head

WTF did you call me!?
It’s one thing to say my name wrong, another to give me a nickname without asking me if anyone calls me it! You have a death wish? I’ll plan your funeral Kenny. Not your name? HAHA piss off.

“Hi, how are you?”
“The weather…”
“How was your day?”
BLAH BLAH BLAH. Enough with the fucking small talk. I don’t like you. I don’t want to speak to you. Fact, I don’t like anyone in this dump. It kills and drains my soul having to be fake nice to you mindless kissasses.

‘Why do you leave early?’
Because I don’t want to fucking be here. It’s also bullshit I’m constantly early and none of you idiots can be on time.

‘My friend I think you need to let me fuck you, you’re obviously not happy’
HAHAHAHA. I already fucked you numerous times in the past. It’s not life changing. I don’t have issues there. And I wondered why you’re still single — not.

Sometimes I wish I was single
I’m basically alone it’s too much work listening to a big whineass everyday

And no that’s not why I’m like the way I am so piss off