So intriguing

I am, you watch me
do what? Post pictures and videos
of my daughter haha
like millions of other people

Why is that?
I don’t know
I don’t have the
slightest clue who
you are
don’t matter

it’s not like I’m
going to provide
my life story
and personal business
on my feed
that’s why I have novels
I hardly mention
among other things
I’m not a millennial
that enjoys ‘self-promoting’
I also never say where I work
why? I fucking hate it
and don’t want anyone showing up

So my daughter is cute
I’m a mother
should have followed me
years ago when I wasn’t
in this life
maybe I would have been
more fascinating
and less likely to swollen
my pride
haha, yeah right
I was never an open book
that’s what made me a ‘writer’

She is

that woman
once, twice
a million times
but not for you

Secretive
manipulative
has her own schedule
and way of doing things
none include you
but she lets you think
what you want
she’s aware she flirts
and teases him
she does it for fun

Why fight the enemy
when the enemy wants
to sleep with you
and has information
you may or may not use
it’s only a matter of time
before he blows shit
up himself and you watch

She doesn’t care
enough to bother
I mean, she has a man
does it stop her from
looking and thinking
about others? No,
it’s in her nature not
to be tied down
who she does actually
play with she has to like
at least a bit
and have
physical attraction
respect

What you mean respect?
she sounds like a whore
they say
she’s not but she can be
don’t shove her in a corner
and bore the shit
out of her

She loyal?
depends
what did you do?
why should she be?
She knows what she
wants this ain’t it

She loves
she’s not in love
she has no intent
in ever falling
in love again
she’s fast
she can’t fall

Crystal madness II

Trevor has lost his memory again. I brought back one their old enemies, ‘Steve’. He travels with Madison all over Mexico and the Middle East. Someone, not just anyone got their hands on the crystals — the government.

No series intended but this was my ‘most popular’ one and I left a cliffhanger with possibilities.

(Sorry if the last few pages and ending makes no sense, I did my final editing high. 🤪 I haven’t been since over a year ago. There will be a part 3 to wrap everything up. And I’m sure everyone is expecting her to make a choice in that one…)

30 Scorpio secrets

Because I’m turning 30…

 
1. Your boyfriend flirted with me.
2. Your boyfriend kissed me — he’s a bad kisser, don’t worry I don’t want to sleep with him!
3. Slept with someone’s boyfriend, not intentionally of course.
4. When in Rome…
5. If I have to think about my feelings for you, they’re non-existent.
6. Hooked up with an ex(s) once, twice, or thousand times because the sex was good.
7. Don’t have any/many friends.
8. Like to be alone, value solitude, and don’t need people to be happy.
9. If I’m in a relationship with you and don’t want to have sex with you; you can be sure you’re either turning me off or I’m sleeping with someone else.
10. Depending on who you are, I probably won’t give you an honest answer how many people I slept with.
11. I do pick and choose.
12. I don’t find people fascinating.
13. Ideas are more interesting.
14. If you want to seduce me, don’t bother. I either want you or I don’t.
15. Should I think about an ex? It’s only because they were good in bed and I’m bored with you.
16. I go to the gym for my sanity, not because I’m trying to lose weight or reach some goal.
17. I don’t believe in one soulmate, we have many.
18. These days I spend more time fantasizing about doing crazy shit to my hair.
19. I was a terrible student.
20. Yeah, teachers and peers didn’t get me. I lived in my own world and didn’t care.
21. I developed thick skin early in life.
22. Sometimes I could be angry and not know why.
23. I assume most people don’t like me and I’m okay with that, I don’t like most people.
24. I can be secretive but trust me, I’m brutally honest too.
25. I’m probably hiding some past things from my partner.
26. I probably hide my money too.
27. There is but one person I truly trust in this world, myself.
28. Should I check someone out? Hardly ever. They’d have to have nice arms or eyes to get my attention.
29. I don’t believe in marriage.
30. Now I understand. The only person I’ll truly love in this world is my daughter.

Past two years

My mother got in a car accident. Her ribs were broken. Car destroyed. Her asshole boyfriend was okay. They stopped treating her cancer. She was too weak.

I got engaged outside a hockey arena. I moved in with my fiancé in his parents house. I hated it but it was closer to work. I showed my mother my dress. She never saw me walk down the aisle in it. She died a few months before my wedding.

I got married. I had an affair with my supervisor. I have yet to claim it was manipulated or abuse. All I know is, never again and he’s behind bars somewhere.

I was sued for the lack of paying up something over a decade ago when I was 18. And now I have to sue my employer.

I started a novel exposing the so-called truth and it turned into fiction. Have to end out names and things to not get sued. Have to exaggerate details to tell a story.

I got pregnant. I was going to get an abortion knowing my past and current financial situation. I saw her heartbeat and kept it. Sometimes I wish I got one.

I got a DNA test and so did 2 of my sisters. Come to find out, 1 of them doesn’t have the same father. We don’t know who it is. We knew my father cheated and took her money. We didn’t know she went out with men when he was away.

Does it matter? No. They broke up. She’s dead and carries that secret to her grave. Now I live with the question, what am I going to die with? Why does it seem like I’ve spent my life running and for what? I’m being lied to. It’s a game for everyone.