Manipulation 101

Do your work, mind your business
Nobody suspects a thing.

Lie correctly
I’m not talking about ‘I got to go wash my dog’ excuses few people may have already picked up you don’t have one. Think of something that’d actually be true in your life.

Keep everything clean
What does that mean? What I said. If you have zero tracks people will believe anything you say whether they know you or not.

Think before you speak
Obviously, if you’re trying to come across a certain way or want to remain a mystery — pick and choose what you say or don’t.

Why are you doing it?
If you have truly ill intentions, it will blow back in your face. If you’re doing it to cover your ass for other valid reasons, okay. Or maybe you don’t want to be seen, so what. Nobody will know but you and maybe a therapist if you ever seek professional help.

And of course
Keep a low profile. Don’t engage with people unless you have too although small talk is torture.

Lies at the dentist

Did you have anything sticky?

You didn’t have anything to you’re not supposed to have make your crown come off?
Just a pretzel.

Okay, maybe some gum. But I hardly ever chew it on that side.

Does it hurt?

When I was a kid we had to go to multiple dentists because I kicked them.

When was the last time you visited a dentist before me.
Few years ago.

Like 7 years ago when I had to get a tooth pulled.

How often do you floss?

A few times a week which is more than I used too, never.

Are you on anything?

I mean, I wish I was. Too bad I threw out my vap pen and decided to live like a ‘normal’ person.

Bad online dating experience

I was 21 years old, he was 24-26. He asked me to meet him at a bowling alley with him and his friends because he wanted to be in a ‘group setting’. I thought it was really because he was afraid I would stand him up, he tried to meet with me before and I refused. I figured, why not meet him? I was single and he was cute.


So… I meet him inside the bowling alley and he looks like his picture, expect one thing. His profile said he was 5’6 but he was really like 5’1. I am 5’4, so that’s definitely shorter than me and what I look for in a guy.


I sit down with him and his friends, he sits close to me and I feel uncomfortable like he’s in my personal space. I look around the bowling alley and see some losers I went to high school with. We talk a bit, he asks me what I do and I ask him the same. I say something about school (I don’t remember if I was working or not at the time) and he says how he didn’t do college, doesn’t have a job, and does ‘underground tattoos’. My cell phone goes off, I look at it and don’t respond. He asks me who I’m texting and goes off to smoke with his friends.


I don’t date smokers (I don’t smoke and I’ve been around smokers my whole life, it doesn’t appeal to me.)… his profile said he wasn’t a smoker so he also lied to me about that too.


He comes back again and sits even closer to me. Again, he asks me who texted me. I say a friend though it actually isn’t a friend. It was my going to be my boyfriend (and future ex). I call it a night and tell him I have to go home or my mother will freak out. (It wasn’t true.)


I decided he was oddly possessive, a liar, and too short for my liking. Had he told me the truth about him from the beginning, I could have looked over his height.

Alliterative motive

“Hey beautiful, how is it going?”
I want to sleep with you.
“What are you doing tonight?”
I want to sleep with you.
“I’m thinking of you.”
I want to sleep with you.
“I like you.”
I would like to sleep with you.
“Do you ever wanna meet?”
I desperately want to meet you because I haven’t gotten laid in awhile.

How much of my writing is true

The question is whether or not it was my own idea — and what’s in it for me.


Own idea

My thoughts or stories from my life.

Yeah some details are blurry and some things I didn’t write down exactly as it was said. I don’t have the best memory in the world but by no means am I going to bullshit real stories from my life.

Fiction, screenplays, and poems — another story. I can bullshit all I want. If they were based off my life, no one would ever know.


Not my idea

Anything academic is bullshitted. I just do whatever they tell me to do because their is a grade involved. I don’t really give a shit about any if the papers I write about. If I did I would write about it on my own time.


I love to convince them

Wrong. Especially if I don’t know them or there is like I said — something in it for me. Damn well you bet I’m going to bullshit. Lies sell.



If I don’t know you or love you though, I have no need to convince you or try to please me. That is the beauty about writing whatever you want.