I am a writer
but I’m not a talker
you want to know
what I’m thinking
I’ll show you
you don’t
you’re afraid
behind that ego
you think you’re
too old
and have to be
at all times
let me tell you
it’s a joke
only people
with their heads
up their asses
give a shit

so maybe
you’re right
you’re unappealing
the egocentric
masked clown is
actually insecure
and doesn’t know
how to approach women
and you think
because I’m laughing
I don’t see it
honey, my gift is

How I knew it was a girl

What myths were true?
Well, I did have really bad nausea in the first trimester. Throughout the day, all day! I did everything in my power to make it stop. I had a few episodes I threwup at night after work.

Bad nausea is supposed to deal with your hormones rising and less with the sex of the baby.

I did crave sweets and couldn’t stand a lot of salt/butter. (Still crave sweets from time to time, I’m not a cupcake person but now I apparently am!)

It doesn’t mean you can have a boy with a sweet tooth.

I lost hair on my legs and armpits?
I know it has to do with hormones but what I thought is, okay; if I’m having a boy wouldn’t my testosterone levels raise and make me hairier? So maybe it’s not…



From the moment we talked about names, it just felt like Ava Rose was going to happen. And the fact we couldn’t agree on a boys name!

Every time I smell smoked or grilled food I want to throw up. From the second it happened, I was like; yeah it’s probably a girl that hates that shit like me and has to make me sense it stronger.

I went to store just browsing around and wasting time. I picked up a pink bunny and thought, this will be the baby’s first stuffed animal! But if it’s a boy…I’d have to come back and get the yellow chick.

The first dream I ever had about kids was about 10 years ago. I had a girl and a boy. The girl appeared to be older than the boy. So of course, I believed the girl would come first!

My mother said you’re going to have a kid in a year (after I married) before she passed. And it’s going to be ‘just like you’. Help us all if that’s true, I was a lot to handle!

And of course, the scan showed it with certainty after waiting 19 weeks to see if I was insane or not. It’s a girl.