31 rants

I’m in my 30s, I have been since I turned 30 last November and now I’m 31. That means I’m not a fucking kid.

1. I have a fucking kid, if we plan a time for anything I expect you to stick to it.

2. You also have a fucking kid, why don’t you know in advance when you are or are not available?

3. You’ve a lot more money than I do, you can afford daycare or a nanny — not everyone can, get your head out of your ass.

4. I absolutely cannot stand people that have no concept of time.

5. Therefore, don’t waste my fucking time.

6. If there’s anything at all I learned in life is time, it’s more valuable than money.

7. I wasn’t there the time my mother passed, I could have spent more time with her but I didn’t. My job as a mall bitch was more important.

8. Yeah right, I never valued the mall as important. That’s why I did half the things I did there.

9. No I don’t want to be working at boring ass furniture store forever.

10. I’m looking for a new job for a reason that’s not everyone’s business.

11. Keep checking my Instagram stories, I don’t mention anything at all about you.

12. I’m a private person so again, no I’m not going to mention much about my life on social media.

13. Is that a job requirement? I don’t give a shit you’re not hiring me anyway.

14. Excuse me? You want me to leave my full time job for an interview?

15. Unless you want me to leave that job to work for you, it’s not happening.

16. You will work around my schedule as I have to dick around with yours.

17. Yeah, no my child comes first.

18. Part time? I’m an adult. Maybe a college student could survive on that.

19. Don’t talk to me like that. I’m not fucking stupid.

20. I’m fully aware of who is checking my instastories. So my advice is, if you’re stalking me be less obvious.

21. Not like it matters. I’m most likely leaving you in a month.

22. I also can’t stand slow people.

23. People that take forever to respond… take forever to get out of the way… take forever driving… or my order…

24. I’d love to knock the shit out of you but that’s illegal.

25. I love playing police at work because they’re too lazy to check cameras. Not.

26. And here I am doing everything again and they wonder why I’m ‘mad’.

27. Don’t complain about having to wear a mask to the store when you don’t work and have to wear it 40hrs a week.

28. Don’t complain about being broke if you haven’t worked a day in your life.

29. Don’t complain about having to wait for a ride if you won’t even bother getting your license.

30. Don’t complain about the president of you didn’t vote.

31. Most people don’t give a shit so you’re better off minding your business and plotting schemes to get ahead.

What about Scorpio

We are the sign of transformation. People often overlook it or think we’re the sign of sex. Everyone enjoys sex, it’s not only a Scorpio thing!

Evolved Scorpio adapts better than most people and has the ability to transform lives around them. Whether or not they do, depends on who they are or circumstances. It’s not one sign fits all. That’s why less evolved Scorpios or those going through a rough time are more manipulative or secretive than others.

But we are a mystery, it doesn’t mean we’re necessarily hiding anything. It means we aren’t an open book. We’re not going on stage and talking about our personal lives. I mean, unless we’re comedians making jokes about it. We have a good sense of humor. You can hardly offend us unless you make assumptions. We hate assumptions or people that are closed-minded.

You wanna piss us off? Question anything about us. Terrible idea to piss us off actually. It’s like Scorpio has a protective magic shield called karma. You would think they casted a spell on you, no. You think they’re stupid? They know how the universe works.

Scorpio doesn’t give two shits about being popular or liked. Especially when they were in school. They enjoyed not having people hover over them and that they can be themselves with no judgement. Though sure, people probably did. They didn’t care. Life has given them thick skin.

So no, we’re not buying anyone’s bullshit. You’re better off convincing the more naive signs.

‘Sexual harassment’ at work

Mandatory meeting, they said.
Why, nobody is getting harassed?
That I know or care to know of.
I know someone called the owner a narcissist and you only do well if
you’re a “yes man”.

I can somewhat see how that’s true
counting the few comments in the passing
or just this weird vibe he gives off
he asked me to be in a commercial
with him, why? I’m not being a
narcissistic but we all know
I’m the most attractive female here
because I’m ‘young’
so why not try to make yourself
look good? I declined
I don’t give a fuck about
‘gaining popularity’
last thing I want is people
coming here and thinking I sell shit
I don’t
it’s bad enough everyone refuses
to ‘do their part’ and disinfectant
the store, nope I was called upon
to do it along with everything else

I’m off subject
only comment someone has made to me
is “damn” and looked at my ass
he’s ‘special needs’ and has
no idea when he’s being inappropriate
is that an excuse, no?

I almost gaged at the part
‘don’t have sexual relationships at work, have them outside if you’re both consenting it’s not harassment’
why? Gee, perhaps I had sexual
relationships with men at a job
not here, the men are all boring
or too old
one of the few times I take pride
nobody has a clue about
my past or who I am
thank god

“We’re essential,”

he said. Why? Because they now sell appliances? You know, back in the old days people had to wash everything by hand. Essential? My ass. Like the owner will do anything to stay in business. You can bet your ass I’m going to report him if I’m pushed to work if another shutdown happens. Not because I’m lazy. I have a one year old daughter. I don’t want to be out in this shit. Hell, I order everything online. A privilege I know, I’m sorry Amazon workers. You also shouldn’t be out in this shit.

My husband works at a car dealership as a manager of some sort. He’d be sent home. Why? Cars aren’t essential either. You’re sent home by the government, where the hell do you need to go? Exactly. In old times people also took buses, taxis, or farther more horses to get places. Cars are also a luxury.

So if there’s anything you learn at all what is necessary, think of the shit you have and don’t necessarily need. I bet somewhere one of your ancestors is laughing and rolling their eyes at you.

31 drunk thoughts

1. Halloween is on 31 and I’m going to be 31 in a week. Fuck.
2. I’m feeling weird like the first time I was pregnant. No, I don’t have coronavirus bitch.
3. What is this?
4. I had a drink where did it go?
5. Maybe I shouldn’t be drinking if I think I’m pregnant. I don’t seriously think I am. Do I?
6. I’d love to smash some pumpkins.
7. Monday I’m not going in.
8. Bitches would take me back part time.
That’s funny, you know I left?
9. Ironic, because he was trying to sleep with me too.
10. I haven’t ever heard back from them so I don’t know why they’re stalking my feed.
11. Thinking about hiring me? No. Do I look like I was born yesterday.
12. Hmmm maybe I should no.
13. There’s something in my nose.
14. I’m going to be out in about 20 mins.
15. Yeah, I’m waking up with a headache.
16. What is that noise?
17. It’s the sound of me dying again.
18. Maybe I should.
19. No.
20. No.
21. Fuck it. Why the fuck do I care? I don’t.
22. Yes.
23. No.
24. I’m bored.
25. I need to forget everything.
26. This is the wrong stuff.
27. The fuck, sometimes I get so mad and wonder why I stopped smoking weed.
28. Maybe that’s my problem.
29. Who cares.
30. I don’t because I’ve no idea when I’m going to be drug tested.
31. Whose creeping now?

So intriguing

I am, you watch me
do what? Post pictures and videos
of my daughter haha
like millions of other people

Why is that?
I don’t know
I don’t have the
slightest clue who
you are
don’t matter

it’s not like I’m
going to provide
my life story
and personal business
on my feed
that’s why I have novels
I hardly mention
among other things
I’m not a millennial
that enjoys ‘self-promoting’
I also never say where I work
why? I fucking hate it
and don’t want anyone showing up

So my daughter is cute
I’m a mother
should have followed me
years ago when I wasn’t
in this life
maybe I would have been
more fascinating
and less likely to swollen
my pride
haha, yeah right
I was never an open book
that’s what made me a ‘writer’

Atypical

white rich man
dresses in suits
drives some expensive
sport car that sucks
in the snow
has Trump stickers,
hats, signs, etc
all over his office
to vote for him
because you don’t
like or trust the other candidate
is one thing but to actually
full on support and like him
is another… in my opinion

I’m forced to go in
each morning
and collect his trash
I can tell he never
brings anything,
always orders
I did too, when I worked
at a mall with disgusting food
who am I to judge
no one

Exactly my point
you’re old enough
to be my father
I don’t want any
stupid flowers or
awkward conversations
and interactions with you
cut the chase
no, I’m not going there
with you
I’d sleep with the man
moving all shit around
before you
and he doesn’t even
have a car

Odd questions at work

Do you have a razor blade?
Yes, I totally come to work and shave my business! Not.

How tall are you?
How tall does it look? I’m not short or tall. I’m boring average.

Do you have any tissues?
Nope. Let me not check my bag or car. Still no. If you’re sick, should you really be at work with what’s going on?

Where can I find windex?
Have you tried the store or Walmart? I’m not packing that either.

You’re pretty, did you take my money?
I don’t sell shit, so no. If you’re applying you’ll pay me $1,000+ for a stupid chair maybe I should reconsider.

How long have you been married?
3 years next month. Means nothing. We’d been together 8+ years. Why? You’re not my type. As if I really have a type, I don’t… very minimum he can’t be slow.

What is your relationship with the owner?
I have none. A few interactions here and there.

Have you ever pissed him off?
Not yet, or that I know of. I’m not trying to get fired or my hours cut!

Being an asshole for 5 minutes

Most of you move extremely slow because you’re old, have a big ass, or are overweight. 

I absolutely love dodging slow people, you should have told me that’s in my job description. 

I guess you’re all slow minded too, many can’t get it I don’t want to talk to them. 

I have no idea who that one lady is, she thinks I’m also her servant. She’s dumb as hell. 

I’m in the dress code I don’t know why the hell you all care so much what I wear. Because I’m attractive and you’re not. I’m the most attractive female here, you see it and try to make me wear pants way too big for me as an attempt to bring me down a notch. Well it doesn’t work. 

‘Tell me about yourself’

First off, my name is pronounced how it’s spelled. It’s not difficult. If you fuck it up numerous times, I have a few choice words for you. And I wonder, did you make it through high school? Nevermind, they’ll let the dumbest idiots graduate not like it makes a difference.

I have no experience in this field at all. I applied to dozens of jobs and I probably won’t remember I applied here. I’m looking for something that pays more. Why? It’s always about money. Although, you know that’s not why I left my last job. That’s complicated. Let’s just say I had enough. And no normal workplace is like that. My current job is not. But obviously, I’m bored and don’t like what I’m doing that’s why I’m looking.

I know you really don’t care who I am or what I do on my free time. You’re just trying to creep and look for clues why I would or wouldn’t be good for the job. Yes, I have boxing gloves in my car, a one year old, and husband. What does that have to do with my abilities? Nothing. It appears I already know English better than your employees. Sooooo…