“Thank you” Fuck you all

Narcissistic asshole who sent me flowers on our anniversary. I go home it’s a completely different story. Nothing but an angry asshole for no reason that I know of. Wants to fight with me about every single little thing. Like any other time in our relationship. Fine. He can fuck himself. I can’t get close to him anyway.

Hi work. Go fuck yourself too. I’m sick of carrying this heavyass thing on my back every single day. Not all people suck there but the few that do, can also go fuck themselves. It’s a long story. Let’s just say I was told my non-offensive sweatshirt is offensive by my supervisor. Instead of ‘hey…’ she said take that off. The only person that was offended was me. It was a sweatshirt with some songs and lines that make me remember my dead mother. Everyone likes it so what is the problem? Nothing. You don’t like me. Fine. I don’t like you either. I’m sorry I’m not 300lbs overweight or 30 mins late to work everyday.

Too bad I lack the qualifications and whatever to get a job literally everywhere else. It’s a viscous cycle. I don’t know why the hell you’re watching me behind the scenes. Don’t tell me you’re also a closet pervert or someone wishing for my downfall. Honey, I’ve already been there. I come from hell, live in hell, and remain there. Proceed with your happy bla bla bla fake life.

Odd questions at work

Do you have a razor blade?
Yes, I totally come to work and shave my business! Not.

How tall are you?
How tall does it look? I’m not short or tall. I’m boring average.

Do you have any tissues?
Nope. Let me not check my bag or car. Still no. If you’re sick, should you really be at work with what’s going on?

Where can I find windex?
Have you tried the store or Walmart? I’m not packing that either.

You’re pretty, did you take my money?
I don’t sell shit, so no. If you’re applying you’ll pay me $1,000+ for a stupid chair maybe I should reconsider.

How long have you been married?
3 years next month. Means nothing. We’d been together 8+ years. Why? You’re not my type. As if I really have a type, I don’t… very minimum he can’t be slow.

What is your relationship with the owner?
I have none. A few interactions here and there.

Have you ever pissed him off?
Not yet, or that I know of. I’m not trying to get fired or my hours cut!

Being an asshole for 5 minutes

Most of you move extremely slow because you’re old, have a big ass, or are overweight. 

I absolutely love dodging slow people, you should have told me that’s in my job description. 

I guess you’re all slow minded too, many can’t get it I don’t want to talk to them. 

I have no idea who that one lady is, she thinks I’m also her servant. She’s dumb as hell. 

I’m in the dress code I don’t know why the hell you all care so much what I wear. Because I’m attractive and you’re not. I’m the most attractive female here, you see it and try to make me wear pants way too big for me as an attempt to bring me down a notch. Well it doesn’t work. 

Random thoughts

Edit

Edit again.

Another ice coffee or ice tea or Gatorade? Shit I’m almost out.

There’s a sale at Victoria’s Secret, again. Really bad for my wallet but I need a new bag, shirt, pants, perfume, etc because I want it.

I haven’t planned my story app in days too busy on other websites. There’s still NOTHING new.

I’m cold I want ice cream.

Protests? Meh. I don’t care. Don’t throw rocks at my car again asshole. I’ll slap you with a lawsuit.

I sued my employer, what makes you think I won’t sue you?

I have nothing to fear the inside of my mouth. I broke my tooth and it’s decayed.

Why can’t people leave me the fuck alone and let me write in peace!?

Don’t look at me like that. Don’t look at me at all.

Face masks are stupid. This entire thing is stupid.

You remember the times it was a big deal when you went to public places with your face covered? Those days are over.

If people asked, ‘hey, did you test positive for an STD?’ every time you went in public as mush as they did COVID, well…

I’m not looking forward to going back to work.

I’m looking forward to the day I get another job.

The guy in my writing I obviously slept with. Do you need concrete details about that too?

Relationships are stupid. Marriage is stupid too. It’s a contract.

I don’t need to date assholes anymore, I live with one.

I’m emotionally unavailable because I don’t have emotions.

The only person I care about is my daughter.

Hmmm, let me think… No.

He’s hot, I’d sleep with him. Expect for the fact he’s too straight edge.

I don’t have issues in that department. I have issues in the giving a fuck department.

I think the answer is I need new sunglasses.

I need to rethink this selling on Amazon bullshit.

I don’t know what I’m planning to do with my characters in this story. I’m just writing a crime novel.

I’m not drunk. I wish I was.

I really think that much about him. I write about him sometimes. Maybe I need a therapist. Fuck that shit. I’d rather waste money other places.

New rule at work: List everything you do

-Clean the entire place in less then an hour.
-Watch crazy coworker clean shit that’s already clean.
-Dodge maintenance ‘supervisor’ because he’s a snake and I don’t like him.
-Write a novel when I’m supposed to be ‘working’.
-Walk around numerous times so I look busy after all my shits been done hours ago.
-Check email and Instagram.
-Listen to podcasts, get bored and listen to trashy music instead.
-Do trash talking trash with my sister.
-Be annoyed by my husband.
-Ponder other things.
-Drink a lot of caffeine.
-Constantly creating my own schedule though I’m not supposed too.
-Constantly stopping myself from reacting/acting upon what I’m really thinking/feeling about someone.

Thoughts working out

I’m too tired for this shit
I need more monsters and coffee to get me to wake the fuck up

Who am I going to kill later?
Fuck M*** I’d like to fuck him, not really. He’s fucking gross. I’d rather fuck B*** he’s more attractive.

Leaves me with the fucking kid later
Fuck him

Why does my shirt keep flying up?
Why does tying my shirt do nothing?
I picked the wrong shirt again.

I fucking hate high waisted leggings
why am I wearing them?
I’m too lazy to go through my closet

I’m going to feel this later.
Okay, now I’m getting tired.

I need a nap.
Fuck him. I’ll probably fuck him later.

My hair is in my face
— AGAIN

I’m bored with my hair
maybe I’ll make it a reddish blonde
and regret it

How to lose a man quickly

Tell him you have a boyfriend or you’re married
While that may or may not be true, he’ll feel like he lost and give up.

Tell him you’re gay or bisexual
He’ll expect it’s not him you want.

Go workout, get soaked in sweat and forget to shower afterwards
Having to smell your natural odors will definitely turn him off.

Get drunk and text him something stupid
He’ll question your intelligence.

Have sex with the person he hates
How could you? It’s worse than cheating though you’re not in a relationship.

Display interest in someone else
Competition? Nah.

Be obnoxious and rude as hell
When in doubt be the worst possible version of yourself. If that doesn’t work, he obviously is a robot or alien.

Coming out as straight

I’m sorry people on the internet and people for coming out as bisexual in college. I made bisexuality look like a phase because it was for me. Two seconds with a woman I was like ‘this is gross, never again!’ I don’t think it’d matter if I was in a threesome against my will, I’d still have the same reaction!

Vaginas leak fluid. Vaginas sweat and smell bad if you don’t wash them or wash them correctly! Some have more hair than others. If you’re into that, fine. I’m not. I’d rather have a penis that comes in different sizes and colors. Some have more hair on their ball sacks than others. So. Well you don’t have to worry about them leaking any other fluid besides cum in your mouth.

Too graphic? Oh well. I assume most of you are over 18 and can handle it.

I’ve made my point. I am a woman that likes men. I am ‘straight’ ignoring all the screws up in my head lose. Every time I had an affair it was random or some muscular guy with tanned skin and blue eyes. I have a thing for guys with nice arms. Everything else doesn’t really matter.

Oh and I got knocked up after a night drinking margaritas. The millionth time I took plan B it didn’t work. At least I know who the father is, my husband.

“I still love you”

he said
my feelings for you
haven’t changed
I’m getting
brain surgery in 90 days
I’m here
I always been here
you got me
I want you
all of you
I know you’re pregnant
I’m happy for you
I’ll be here
I want you
I always wanted you
I love you

“My focus is on the future
right now”
I say
he continues to tell me
how he loves me

I let him blow up my phone
I don’t tell him the obvious

I’m probably not going to
see you again
if I do it’d be in the
distant future
and I’m still married
I have my first kid
on the way
I don’t think nearly
as much about you
I don’t have
the emotions you have
anymore
I’m thinking what
I’m going to do
and I’m too
nauseous and tired
to do anything with anyone
especially you
maybe, I have changed
and you’re the same

Junior high was like

Kindergarten
new at being a teenager
at a school
I won’t remember
and had little significance in
the rest of my life

I recall only
I had bigger boobs
wore 3xs the size
I do now
people calling me
freak
weirdo
pizza face
slow runner in track
the blue lip gloss
I thought was cute
but my crush said
I looked like a smurf

I fought with my crush
to get better grades
I was on honor roll a lot
he liked a model
I also had a crush on my art teacher
he turned out to be a pervert
taking pictures
up staff members skirts

I sat with the outcasts
at lunch
they talked about
pot and choking the chicken
both I knew nothing of
they thought I was too good

I went to a school dance
there was no dancing
but my so called friends
ditched me
to get high