When gyms were closed

I realized they need you a lot more than you need them. Why? You’re their source of income.

I ran, I rollerbladed, hell I’ve even done pushups, situps, core, and kickboxing all on my own. Sometimes I followed a recorded playback but still, I was perfectly capable of instructing myself. And I did, alongside millions of others.

‘But live classes, live classes’ Yeah, that’s perfect for people that LIVE ALONE, don’t have neighbors, a house full of people on different schedules, or a crying get into everything BABY in the background. People will accept that as a new norm but I never will. Because it’s not normal. To tell you the truth, I feel odd about having anyone watch me through the other end on camera in my home. That’s why I shot down a ‘internet model’ job. I value my privacy. If I take a video in my room or house myself, a different story.

So what is? Following the beat to your drum. If that’s you, go for it. You do you, I do me. It’s not personal, it’s called not everyone needs someone to guide them. It’s not everyone has the luxury of doing things whenever the hell they want. It’s highly unrealistic like the virtual world.

Worst trainers

I’ve had but a few in my life with the many gyms I’ve gone too. The worst I’d say is slow…


He said, “What? You’re too skinny to do sits-ups!? Sorry.”

I don’t know if he was trying to be funny or insulting me. He’s lucky I didn’t tell his manager. I actually didn’t hear him say anything about doing sit-ups. It has nothing to do with my body size. Perhaps if he wasn’t busy speaking to the wall I would have heard him.


Slow as fuck.

I know I’m more in shape than my peers that’s besides the story. BUT your dance moves could put a senior citizen to sleep. I’ve never been so bored and distant at a gym until you…


Shows up late and unprepared.

“I’m sorry, I’m hungover from last night. Do what you want I have nothing.” Okay, so what is the point in me paying $44 extra a month? I’d be better off going back to Planet Fitness. Hell, I don’t need you — you’re extra.

The problems with gyms

I’ve been going to a gym for a decade now. It’s a great place to do your thing for the most part but…


They’re disgusting
If you go to one of those more expensive gyms, it’s probably clean. If you go to open of those basic or cheap gyms, it’s not. The locker rooms/restrooms are dirty to the point you notice the same shit marks that’s been in the toilet for weeks.


Why? They’re probably understaffed/don’t care.

Let me tell you the week I worked at a basic gym — I was the only cleaner and I worked at night. The manager bombed my phone with texts of complaints throughout the day instead of doing anything about it. Urinals were clogged with literal shit and gum. I kept finding clumps of hair everywhere. I said it was bad for my health and quit (because it was, you had all these germs and shit floating around and I was the only person to do anything about it).


Most of them have contracts
You suddenly have to move? They don’t care. You suddenly get sick or have some restriction where you can’t workout? They don’t care. They want their money. It doesn’t matter if you use the facility or services they offer or not.

Hell, when I got pregnant I stopped going to ‘elite kickboxing’ and here I am 9 months in and still paying for it! They said I could have 3 ‘free’ months when I come back. Bitch, it’s not free I had to pay for it! And you probably will require me to sign another contract! Fuck that. I’ll go read up other gym contracts that don’t want to charge me through the roof.


There’s different types of gym goers

The ones that only go to the gym to socialize… in the locker room or stand by a person when they workout and talk for a good 30 minutes. It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t in your way or if you couldn’t hear them. Even with earphones you can!

The ones that pay no attention to their surroundings and cut you off when they walk.

The ones that try to start a conversation with you about your appearance or workout routine… they’re really impressed and don’t appear to get out much.

The ones that smell… everyone sweats okay but not everyone wants your smelly ass in their space.

And the ones that used the locker room as a vanity room and sprays loads of perfume on. We get it, you smell and probably have to go to work after. But what makes you think spraying a ridiculous amount of cheap perfume is going to make you smell better?



Why can’t all gyms just I don’t know, not be disgusting, have no contracts, or people that need to get in your way one way or another? Because it’s too simple to exist.

Thoughts at the gym

What am I going to listen too?
I’m sick of this song.
Okay, I’m bored now.
How much longer?
Thirty minutes is good enough.
Seriously bro why do you have to use the machine next to me?
Judgement free zone my ass.
Why are these creeps looking at me?
Probably looking at my ass again.
Her hair looks fucked up.
God he’s hot.
He has nice arms.
She has bigger arms than me.
She can probably kick my ass.
I think I know him/her.
I’m not from around here, I don’t.
Am I done yet?
This song is annoying.
What am I going to eat later?
I’m tired.
I shouldn’t have stayed up all night.
Sleep aid doesn’t work.
This machine isn’t getting smarter.
This is why I need to do other things too.