Ava Rose

My water broke at 3am, Tuesday July 23. I didn’t know it did. I passed it off as more mucus from the plug or fluid passing. I tried to go about my day and had gush episodes here and there. By 2pm I finally realized, hey I lost my plug a week ago. I wouldn’t still be leaking, especially clear and pink fluid. My ‘regular’ Braxton Hicks were gone. Then came some stomach pain and back aches. I called the doctor and they told me it sounded like my water broke and I needed to come in.

I came in and they saw I ruptured. I didn’t matter I was 1 centimeter dilated and only 50% effaced. The baby needed to come out. It’d have serious effects on the both of us. And I should have called in the morning when it happened. It was the first time I experienced any of it. She was only 38 weeks old in the womb. I expected it to happen at 39, not 38. I didn’t get to choose.

I got admitted and given a drug to induce labor. By 4 centimeters I was screaming and crying in pain. I got an epidural. It helped with some contractions but when it came time to push, I was helpless. They had to lessen my dose thinking if I felt more I would work harder to push her out. I tried. It was 2 and a half hours of yelling, swearing, and blood. Then her head finally came out. They basically ripped her out my vagina. I was given 4 stitches. And for myself a ticket to be admitted an extra day because how long my water was broke and the Strep B thing I tested positive for at my 36 week appointment. Now I’m here an extra day long because she has a mild case of jaundice and difficulty making bowel movement.

All said and done, she came. At her own time which I thought she was going too. On July 24, 2019 at 7:59Am. I had no issues breastfeeding with her but swollen overfull boobs. I never understood why people would do stuff like that. But now I see it’s part of nature. And you really think I’m going to pawn her off to someone or deal with people/situations and shit I don’t need too? Nope. Once she was born she gave me a reason to live and lead my life.

How I knew it was a girl

What myths were true?
Well, I did have really bad nausea in the first trimester. Throughout the day, all day! I did everything in my power to make it stop. I had a few episodes I threwup at night after work.

Bad nausea is supposed to deal with your hormones rising and less with the sex of the baby.

I did crave sweets and couldn’t stand a lot of salt/butter. (Still crave sweets from time to time, I’m not a cupcake person but now I apparently am!)

It doesn’t mean you can have a boy with a sweet tooth.

I lost hair on my legs and armpits?
I know it has to do with hormones but what I thought is, okay; if I’m having a boy wouldn’t my testosterone levels raise and make me hairier? So maybe it’s not…



From the moment we talked about names, it just felt like Ava Rose was going to happen. And the fact we couldn’t agree on a boys name!

Every time I smell smoked or grilled food I want to throw up. From the second it happened, I was like; yeah it’s probably a girl that hates that shit like me and has to make me sense it stronger.

I went to store just browsing around and wasting time. I picked up a pink bunny and thought, this will be the baby’s first stuffed animal! But if it’s a boy…I’d have to come back and get the yellow chick.

The first dream I ever had about kids was about 10 years ago. I had a girl and a boy. The girl appeared to be older than the boy. So of course, I believed the girl would come first!

My mother said you’re going to have a kid in a year (after I married) before she passed. And it’s going to be ‘just like you’. Help us all if that’s true, I was a lot to handle!

And of course, the scan showed it with certainty after waiting 19 weeks to see if I was insane or not. It’s a girl.

“Hippie girl”

he said
I laughed
how am I?
I don’t do the drugs?
I don’t have
multiple partners

he said
I see your eyes
I can read you like
nobody else can
I seen your anger
I heard you talk
about your mother
I know your capacity
for love and know
how you feel about me
your situation
my situation doesn’t matter


Right it did matter
because I did love you
you supposedly loved me
but you kept on
drinking and lying
ran from a DWI

You called me
you left messages
saying what you
said and felt was true

Then one day I heard
you can’t speak anymore
you had brain surgery
to remove a tumor
you’re no longer you
but I’m still me


My laziness

Hungry, wants dinner and doesn’t feel like cooking
Doesn’t cook dinner, settles on a bagel and small bag of plain chips.


Thirsty, doesn’t want to go to the kitchen to get something
Takes a cup to the bathroom and fills it with water. (It’s a good thing it’s not city, you’d have to walk a few extra feet to get filtered.)


Spends time making ice coffee for tomorrow
Won’t spend time to make food or get a drink out of the kitchen.


Takes two baths to lay in the tub
Gets out of the tub to lay in bed.


Doesn’t want to brush hair
Puts it in a bun because nobody will notice it.


In the event you must leave the cave
Put on sunglasses instead of makeup.


Sees a text message and doesn’t respond
Says I was busy, asleep, or didn’t get it

Drunk me vs. Sober me


“Want to have a threesome?”



“Threesomes are fucking disgusting.”



“She’s hot.”



“She’s a ugly slut.”



“Sure, I’ll suck your dick.”



“Why can’t you suck your own dick?”



“I only cheated on you once.”



“You broke up with me.”



“Find a hot girl and maybe I’ll kiss her — and we’ll have a threesome.”



“You have to get me really drunk to do anything.”

Questions you shouldn’t ask


GIRL (20s) and GUY (20s) sit on the couch in front of the television. Guy takes out his cell phone and strolls through his text messages. Girl looks at him furiously.


Who are you texting?


My sister.


Thought you said you don’t have a sister?


Right, it’s my mother.


You said your mother is dead.






Guy and Girl sit on the beach. Kids behind them LAUGH and SCREAM. They stare at each other.


What were you doing last night?


I told you, I was working.


Then why were you posting Facebook status’ at 4am?


I wasn’t! Check the time.

Guy moves closer to Girl. His face turns red, his eyes water.


Don’t need too, I know you were out with him. Why don’t you admit it!?

Girl backs away from Guy.


With who? My brother.


Your ex. If not, why are you still talking to him?


Why are you going through my text messages?


It couldn’t be because you cheated on me once.


You’re dumb.

Girl gets up and walks away.

“That time of month,” you shouldn’t say to girls…

“You look like you gained some weight. You sure you’re not pregnant?”
I gained five pounds in water weight. Dumbass.


“You shouldn’t eat ice cream for dinner.”
You want to see me without my chocolate ice cream? Alright. That’s permission to be a bitch.


“Your boobs are bigger. Did you gain weight?”
No shit. No, I just decided to stuff my bra today. Dumbass.


“Is your period almost over?”
Why am I that much of a bitch? Or you want to get laid?


“I knew your period was coming, that’s why I wanted to have more sex.”
You’re full of shit.


“How are you feeling?”
I’m going to punch you in the face if you ask me that again.


“You should stop drinking soda, you’re breaking out.”
Soda has nothing to do with it. It’s hormonal.


“We need to talk.”
Where is the pitch fork?