And I said

chemistry is important
we don’t have any
I knew it from the time
you tried to kiss me
after you hugged me
It wasn’t expected or cool
I told you what everything
that was going on
and my choice
you didn’t agree with

You wanted to play the victim
and cry on Facebook for a week
when I’ve been over here
rolling my eyes again and again
you can never just be friends
with the opposite sex
without them wanting more
so I cut the rope
and run to the man
with the blue eyes
in my head and soul
in despite of whatever

“What happened?”

What happened to him?

Which him?


The him who is an alcoholic, mentally ill, wants to blame me for everything, and make it out like I’m the one with an issue?
The him who stalked me for years, sexually abused me, and asked to have a threesome with my younger sister and I?
The him who cheated on me numerous times?
The him who I dated but mostly hooked up with who lives a few hours away?
The him who I tried to date when I was a teenager but lives in another country?
All the other hims that are no longer in my life?



What happened to her?

Which her?


The her I talked to everyday for weeks and one day stopped talking to her all together for no apparent reason?
The her, one of my ex’s girlfriends that made he made me have a threesome with?
The her who lived down the hall from me in college who had a secret crush on me?
The her who I thought was sleeping with my boyfriend?
The her, a boyfriend’s ex girlfriend I messaged on Facebook about him?
All the other hers that used to be my friends or enemies?



Nothing happened because it already did.


What happened to you?

I changed, change, am changing…

Walk Away

I could say hello but I’m not interested in small talk
seeing your number makes me want to vomit
seeing your face makes me want to bash it in a million pieces


I could explain why I stopped talking to you out of the blue
but I refuse to be interrogated for something I didn’t do


I could rant on and on about the things you said and did
that no other man, a stable respectful man would do
you want to say it’s part of your culture or religion
if that were true, you give your people a bad name


You don’t listen or take a clue


I told you numerous times
you and I would never work out
I don’t like high heels
I don’t want your hands around my neck
I don’t appreciate the comments about
you having a threesome with my younger sister and I


I would never convert to Islam
or make an effort to learn your language
you forced high heels on my feet like I was
Cinderella and you were Prince Charming
(yeah, right)
you choked me and slapped my face
you showed me a knife and made a joke
about taking my life
I saw less and less of you
you began to stalk my younger sister and
her friends on Facebook
I told you that was the last straw


I told you I didn’t like you as much as you liked me
you proceeded to ask me out
I walked away without answering your requests to see you again
or answering your question, “Do you have someone else?”
I responded, “None of your business.”

Why I avoid you

Behind the doors I hear,

“She didn’t say goodbye when she leaved.”

Excuse me, when is the last time you talked to me?

Last I knew you were speaking of how stupid and bitchy I am and how annoying, rude, and an ass my boyfriend is — behind my back.

You come around here and you ask me if I want to go out and do thing with you — like we are close or something.

That’s funny, when is the last time we texted? Years ago. When is the last time we hung out when I felt you weren’t judging me or trying to start an argument.

The truth hurts. We may be blood but we have nothing in common. Unlike you, I won’t pretend or make an effort. Can’t help I have a low opinion after I witnessed all of this and you seeking attention on social media for years.

Now I sound like an ass just like you all wanted. I am the bad guy because I won’t pretend. So shoot me because you don’t have the balls to speak, think, and act yourself.

What you learn from your Birthday

1. Who your ‘friends’ are.

You been friends with this person for a couple years now. They don’t wish you, Happy Birthday. Instead, they text you details about their life.


2. You’re still really immature.

Same person you were a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago, twenty years ago… you never change, just get older. It fucking sucks!


3. Another year has passed.

Still not close to your goal/dreams. It’s a ‘slow’ process you must keep going through. It fucking sucks!


4. You have ‘friends’ you’re not aware of.

Those people from high school/college you hardly, if ever talked to wishes you, Happy Birthday on Facebook.


5. Who really cares vs. Who is phony.

Some people you have dinner/celebrate with… other people send you a text, call you, or send you cheap gifts — so they don’t feel guilty about missing your birthday or play the ‘I did something so you have too’ card.