I’m not trying

I’m married
I have a baby
my everything life
is going despite
the coronavirus bullshit
do I wonder, ‘what if?’
yes
though all these
things happened
with him
before the others

‘What others?’
I’m not getting into it
but I had no problem
telling him
the people I was seeing
besides him
he’s even seen my artwork
nobody else has
mistakenly
but still
he wasn’t just a person
I was sleeping with
he was my friend
everytime shit hit the fan
I went to see him to talk
even if he had
other intentions
I didn’t care
he saw me for what I was
never fed me lies
but questioned every time
‘why I never picked him?’

Because
some things you won’t forget
like the times he
forced himself upon me
and recorded it
and the threesome he tricked
me into

‘You enjoyed it’
he said
I did not
being an aggressive prick
doesn’t make anyone want
to stay with you

‘But your husband is’
he can be
when he’s pissed off
who isn’t?
but he knows what
‘Fuck off’ means

And I said

chemistry is important
we don’t have any
I knew it from the time
you tried to kiss me
after you hugged me
It wasn’t expected or cool
I told you what everything
that was going on
and my choice
you didn’t agree with

You wanted to play the victim
and cry on Facebook for a week
when I’ve been over here
rolling my eyes again and again
you can never just be friends
with the opposite sex
without them wanting more
so I cut the rope
and run to the man
with the blue eyes
in my head and soul
in despite of whatever

How not to talk to a girl

“Hey, want to have a threesome?”
No, but is your friend single?

 

“We should hookup sometime.”
Maybe if we were at a bar but we are not…

 

“Do you spit or swallow?”
Neither.

 

“Are you a Lesbian? If you are, can I watch?”
Are you gay? If you are, can I watch? Just kidding. Why on Earth would I want to watch anyone have sex.

 

“Send me nude pics.”
Of what? I can send you pictures of a dog, cat, cow, or chicken. They’re naked…

 

“I want you, do you want me? I’m way better for you.”
What?