“We married our first love,”

said some broad from a 90s show I heard but didn’t watch. She also said that’s why they were divorced or not happy. Then I can’t help but think of my first love.

To be honest, I don’t even know. I’ve been in and out of love numerous times in my life. So it makes me wonder, what is the legit feeling? The feeling of being ‘in love’ fades whether you’re with someone for six months or years.

I think back to when I was seventeen and ‘in love’ with this guy from Argentina. I talked to him for years and he helped me get over my middle school crush I blamed for my eating disorder back then. ‘He liked a model and it wasn’t me, I’m blahblahblah’ teenager garbage. Long story short I eventually met him and my mother sent my big brother to kick his ass. She was pissed I met someone off the internet. We still snuck around and talked. We were going to runaway to NYC and get married. My dream was to be a model (HAHA) and he wanted to be director. He asked me to marry him and even started working on my ring.

I’m not sure what happened next but I guess, I developed a crush on a college boy and he was history. Then I had one relationship after another, sometimes with multiple people, and told him about it. So, we still talked only as friends and occasionally do to this day.

Now I’m married and have an one and half year old. He’s still single but I guess he’s happy in whatever country he’s in doing photography. My dream is and always been writing and editing. It’s crazy to think it’s been fourteen years.