Odd fellow

What did you have for lunch? Pumpkin donuts. Yeah, real healthy I’m aware. I’m too lazy and careless to bother with anything else.

Are you on Facebook? I have one but I don’t use it. I’m only tagged in videos and pictures of my daughter. Who seriously asks that these days? Are you gonna friend request me? Haha.

How long have you been married? It’d be three years in October… Why?

How long have you been together? It’d be nine years in October. Why? Is it because I look young? We met in our early 20s, we’re 30. No we didn’t stay together the entire time, we went through on and offs and ups and downs.

What’s his name? What is this the third degree? Are you the police going to investigate him? Or just nosey?

What does he do for a living? He’s an accountant. More like a puppet that hits buttons on a computer all day. Exact opposite of anything and everything I do.

Has he met the owner? No. Why the hell?

Things I’m already over with in 2020

Celebrity makeup lines
We’ve heard it 50 million times now by pretty much everyone.

Makeup. Period.
How many more palettes and foundations does the world need? At least it gives people that aren’t millionaires already jobs.

Waiting in lines to get coffee
I’m too lazy to make it myself but I have a coffee maker!? It’s free to make but what the fuck well I’m bored with everything they sell in stores too.

Marriage. Babies.
Yeah, I’m aware I’m married and have a baby! That’s the point. They both irritate the shit out of me and I wonder why I did any of it in the first place. And no, I’m not even thinking about another!

Facebook
Yeah, the first week of January in 2020 I was gone. It was the BEST decision I’ve made on the internet in my life!

Etsy
Okay, I’ll be fair a lot of people were good crafters and sellers BUT that one, that didn’t respond and try to make me look stupid to get my money — I’m done. I got my money back so they can kiss my ass.

Publishing on Amazon!?!
They take a lot of your profit. And the playing field is huge, obviously. I don’t care if I’m a known writer, I care if I’m making more then $6 when I publish shit.

Election
I don’t know whose running or really care. I may or may not vote. Bite me. All that matters is Trump is out of the office and less an idiot takes over.

My hair
I’ve had ‘platinum’ or ‘near platinum’ blonde hair for years. Natural when I was younger until I hit like 16 — I started coloring it because I didn’t like more roots were darker? I used some natural light blonde product on it with no bleach. Around when I was 18 I was like holly fuck, my hair looks like it’s turning red (a strawberry blonde?) so I started using blonde dye with little bleach in it. And here I am, 30 and seeing those same undertones in my hair. So I wonder… no I’d probably regret it.

Updated thoughts on social media

Twitter
Okay, it was booming more when I wrote about it 3 years ago. Now it’s really just a place for celebrities to listen to them to talk and have their obsessed fans and trolls watch.

Instagram
The place anyone or everyone would rather share a photo these days. Why? You don’t know all the people that will see it and you most likely don’t have to deal with unwanted acquittances or family members commenting on it — they have no idea how to use it!

Facebook
Still seems to be the place all your unwanted acquittances and family members hit up to see what you’re doing. Jokes on them, you hardly post anything on your profile! Doesn’t stop them from creeping.

Snapchat
Everyone loves the filters but not everyone uses it regularly. Why? It’s another service you’d have to put an effort in to gain followers or to follow people or things you’re interested in that you already follow in other places and see the same content.

Tik Tok
That’s new. Again another service you’d have to put some sort of effort in and not everyone or everything you’re interested in is on it.

Let’s pretend this is Facebook

Status update:

-If he can’t make plans, why do you waste your time? He’s just using you. You could do so much better.
-Be with someone that’s worth then a minute of your time.
-I ran a mile in 6 minutes.
-They call me, “Monster.”
-Don’t call me Taylor Swift, I DISLIKE her. I rather have you call me Kesha, I LOVE her. We probably have more in common too.
-Don’t call me “babe” I’m not your fucking girlfriend. You’re some creep that magically got my number. We never met.
-Ya’ll are dumb and a waste of my time.
-I don’t want to see your fucking selfie.

Pictures of selfies:

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Facebook you vs. Real you

In a relationship = I didn’t want to put it out there but my partner is suspicious.

Single = I am not single, I’m in a relationship. I hope my partner doesn’t know I’m seeing other people.

Married = I am tied down for the rest of my life. If I cheat, nobody has a clue expect my partner. Everyone else thinks I’m great.

 

Status: “It was a beautiful day out. So thankful for my friends and family that came out. <3” = It was a horrible day. I can’t stand them but I’m going to pretend I do.

 

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Still wanna date me?

 

Facebook Use

When it comes to dating, we want to know what we are getting into before we make that commitment. A way to do that before we agree to setup a date — Facebook. What a person has on their timeline says a lot about them.

If they don’t post a lot, they have a job or don’t care much about social media. If they frequently post, it can tell you a lot about their activities or opinions. If they have a lot of pictures of them hanging out at the bar, you probably want to run. If they are conservative and you’re not, you probably want to run. You shouldn’t read into what goes on their timeline but you should read red flags.

If they have a lot of friends, they either know a lot of people in real life or added a lot of people on Facebook. Don’t mistake their status’, likes, or friendships for them actually having a life. In reality, they could be spending their Friday night on Facebook. If they have a few friends or their friend list isn’t showing, you have to get to know them to know about their relationships. They are private and do not have shallow relationships. It’s obvious on the surface they are not self-promoters.

If they take a lot of selfies, they have way too much time on their hands. Think about it… How much time does it take to a picture, edit it, and select the proper one? A couple of hours. Now if you’re doing that multiple times a week, you have nothing better to do. Would you want to date someone that isn’t productive and probably conceited, shallow, and lonely? Probably not. You know they’re going to be more self-concerned.

If they like or comment on a bunch of things, they are impulsive and bored. It’s not a bad thing unless they have an addiction to social media. When they start doing questionable things, you should probably talk to them. By talk to them, I mean really talk to them. Don’t message them on Facebook or send a text message. The only thing you should talk to them about is what is on their mind. Don’t bring up what they do on Facebook unless you have a reason like you saw a photo of them tagged with another girl/guy.

Facebook and Twitter Etiquette For Dummies

Facebook

 

Who to add…

People you actually know or met. There’s no problem adding ‘fans’ or ‘strangers’ if you know they aren’t some psychopath, criminal, or pervert — and you actually talked to them somewhere.

 

Try not to add…

Colleagues, professors, bosses, or co-workers. It is weird for them, and it is weird for you. If you do, do both of you a favor and don’t complain about work, life, or relationships. You have to be ‘professional’.

 

Avoid comments turning into a…

Private message or forum. Then everyone gets to know your business, thoughts, and feelings. That’s not something you want…

 

Status overload…

Selfies, rants, videos, or articles. Although some people like it, not everyone is going to. And yeah, yeah… there’s that whole ‘I don’t care if they like it or not’ — and right you shouldn’t!

…You’re entitled to your thoughts, feelings, and what you put out there. You don’t need to constantly share it with people who may be shallow or just not care.

 

 

Twitter

 

Follow…

Whoever you want.

 

Post…

Whatever you want. But if you’re posting twenty tweets every hour maybe you need to rethink…

 

Don’t post…

Whatever you want. You know you’re reaching more people then Facebook, right? If you start hate talking people, spreading conspiracies, and terror — the government will find you.

 

Telling people to follow you…

They will follow you. It’s okay, it’s fine for business — a lot of people have done it. However, there’s people that become OBSESSED with how many followers they get. It becomes a drug. It can turn a good person into a narcissistic, just like Facebook.

 

 

Facebook and Twitter…

 

This is just words from a persons experience. Everyone is different.

…How obsessed are you with getting likes, comments, tweets, and re-tweets?

What. Why.
Who cares? You shouldn’t care.
They don’t really care.
You know who cares…

Asssessment: Reactivate Facebook

It’s been days
I can’t help but wonder…

What has changed?
What have I missed?

Nothing.

Same people posting selfies.
Same people crying and complaining.
Same people posting quotes and preaching.

Ah, I remember…

These people aren’t my ‘friends’ or ‘family’
My friends would have texted me when I was gone
My family I have been with most of this time

Not on social media

Oh and my ‘mate’

I been with the past three days, came home today.

(Surprise, just because I’m posting things… doesn’t mean I don’t have a life.)

Did I tell the world? No.

Did he? No.

…Now back to the drawing board…

 

The Real Drawing Board…

LIFE.

Deactivate Facebook = Sanity

Seriously.

Yes.

It’s been two days.

I feel like a parasite has been removed from my brain.

I can think and feel. Oh my god. I’m not a robot, I’m a human being.

I’m redirecting my focus on other things.

So Facebook = Faceless much better.

Not pretending to be what I’m not for strangers.

Not hiding who I am for strangers.

I know who my real friends are.

I am happier in the real world.

You should be too.