When gyms were closed

I realized they need you a lot more than you need them. Why? You’re their source of income.

I ran, I rollerbladed, hell I’ve even done pushups, situps, core, and kickboxing all on my own. Sometimes I followed a recorded playback but still, I was perfectly capable of instructing myself. And I did, alongside millions of others.

‘But live classes, live classes’ Yeah, that’s perfect for people that LIVE ALONE, don’t have neighbors, a house full of people on different schedules, or a crying get into everything BABY in the background. People will accept that as a new norm but I never will. Because it’s not normal. To tell you the truth, I feel odd about having anyone watch me through the other end on camera in my home. That’s why I shot down a ‘internet model’ job. I value my privacy. If I take a video in my room or house myself, a different story.

So what is? Following the beat to your drum. If that’s you, go for it. You do you, I do me. It’s not personal, it’s called not everyone needs someone to guide them. It’s not everyone has the luxury of doing things whenever the hell they want. It’s highly unrealistic like the virtual world.

Thoughts working out

I’m too tired for this shit
I need more monsters and coffee to get me to wake the fuck up

Who am I going to kill later?
Fuck M*** I’d like to fuck him, not really. He’s fucking gross. I’d rather fuck B*** he’s more attractive.

Leaves me with the fucking kid later
Fuck him

Why does my shirt keep flying up?
Why does tying my shirt do nothing?
I picked the wrong shirt again.

I fucking hate high waisted leggings
why am I wearing them?
I’m too lazy to go through my closet

I’m going to feel this later.
Okay, now I’m getting tired.

I need a nap.
Fuck him. I’ll probably fuck him later.

My hair is in my face
— AGAIN

I’m bored with my hair
maybe I’ll make it a reddish blonde
and regret it

What life would be like if I stopped working out

-I would weigh 300lbs.
— or starving myself/making myself vomit.

 

-Constantly be angry.
NO, I won’t “be calm” — you better not tell me too!

 

-Impulsive
Spending spree? Getting drunk?

 

-Ball of emotions
I want to kill myself. No I don’t.
If I die, I won’t see him. I don’t want to see him.
He’s a fucking asshole. But, I miss him.
No I don’t. I love him.
Yeah, dead.
Fuck it all. I’m tired.
Shoot me. I could paint a picture. No I can’t, I suck.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m just going to eat ice cream and watch movies all day.