‘Text an ex in isolation’

The dumbest headline I’ve seen all week.

If you’re single, okay. You have nothing to lose but your pride, ego, and mind. If you’re in a relationship, you’re playing with fire. Especially if your partner doesn’t know, it’s ‘emotionally cheating’ and leads to more drama than it’s worth. If you and your ex are able to be strictly friends, congratulations. That’s often not the case.

Been there, done that back in the day. Ultimately lead to me sleeping with them. Conflict? No, not really. More like okay, I’m completely over you and it wasn’t that good. What was I thinking? Hey, if that’s what you need to do to move on, go ahead. But if you’re trying to fill a void, it’s going to get you nowhere. Temporary fix for a problem. I know ‘isolation’ is boring and traumatic for some. What is talking to your ex going to do? Bring back things that should have stayed in the past.

I’m not saying you can’t fix it and get back together, and stay together. I’ve been there too. You know how many times my husband broke up and got back together? Too many. Because every time we broke up it lasted 24-72 hours. Eventually you need to grow the fuck and stop the bullshit. Yes, I’m quoting my mother and will probably say this to my daughter someday.

Old flame

“Kiss me,” he said.
I did and felt nothing.
It was like kissing a statue.
It’d be better if it was a statue.
The statue wouldn’t chase me forever.

He took my clothes off.
I did it without feeling a thing.
I thought ‘what the hell am I doing?’
I stopped in the middle of it.
I said I was burning though I wasn’t.
He believed me.

He asked me, “Would you have married me if I asked you too?”
I said, “Probably not. I don’t think I was ready for marriage.”
I made an excuse to leave and left.

Smalle is back

He looks at me
like I haven’t
seen you in forever
you look good
I want to bang you
you want to bang me?

I just keep walking
why don’t you want me?
is it because I blocked and unblocked you?
you were cheating on me
you thought I was doing something
is it because I sucked in bed?
you liked it

Yeah, I wanted you
but it never would have gotten anywhere
I didn’t love you like I loved him

You could have

Some things aren’t meant to be
I know but why do I still want you?
tell me, do you still want me too?

Sexually, we’ve always had a strong attraction
but I cannot
why not?
it’s playing with fire

Love questions and predictions

Is he my soulmate?
No, if he was your soulmate you wouldn’t be asking me this question.

 

When will I meet the one?
When you stop thinking about it.

 

When are we getting married?
When he decides to commit, if ever.

 

What time are we getting married?
Never because you’re concerned with time.

 

How old will I be when I married?
Older.

 

Does he think of me?
You already know the answer to this question, you’re looking for validation.

 

Why does he message his ex?
He still has some kind of relationship with her.

We’re back together

I got really drunk last night
I texted him up and said I wanted to fuck
he came over at 12am
we had sex in the back of his car
he didn’t wear a condom
so I’m pretty sure I’m going to have his baby
I know when I tell him I’m pregnant he’ll want to marry me
I agreed to having threesomes whenever he wanted
we’re having one next week
if you’d like to join us, use the contact form on my website

 

Oh and,
April Fools!

Crazy Ex saga cont.

Text messages

 

Him
Hey

 

Him
Hey, how it’s going?

 

Him
Hi

 

Him
?

 

Him
Sandra

 

I ignore and delete all the messages, I’m 2-3 hours away with my boyfriend.

 

Him
How is your day going?

 

Him
Hey

 

Him
Hi, how are you?

 
Him
Hey

 
I ignore and delete all the messages. He has no idea that I left nor came back from my trip or so I think.
 

A piece of metal magically appears in the tire in the morning, someone did it over night. It had to be him, he was the one who pointed out a screw in the tire and marked it red in the summer time. Had I caught him or had evidence it was him, I’d go after him for that and other things. He can’t take no for an answer and if you ignore him, he tries to destroy you. The true image of an abuser and psychopath.

Honestly answering an Ex’s questions

Why didn’t you respond to my text?
You texted me? I blocked your cell phone number.

 

Did you miss me?
I miss the sex, I don’t miss you so much.

 

Do you love me?
I loved you but I don’t anymore. Okay, maybe I do love you. Not in the sense I want to marry you, in the sense I don’t want to hurt you.

 

Would you consider getting back with me?
No, yes, no, yes, no. It depends, are you still flirting with/screwing everyone you see?

 

Why did you break up with me?
I was still in love with my ex boyfriend.

 

You loved your ex more than you loved me?
Yes. I mean, we’ve been together for four years.

 

So you choose him over me?
Yes.

 

Will you go out with me?
Maybe if I was single.

 

Why did you make it difficult to see me when you were single?
I knew you only wanted to see me to have sex and I had a million other things going on my in my life. The last thing I wanted to be was some guy’s booty call.

 
 

Conversation with an Ex

Went like this…

 
 

Him
Hey

 

Me
Hey?

 

Him
You deleted my number?

 

Me
A long time ago

 

Him
I want to see you, it’s been awhile

 

Me
I have a boyfriend

 

Him
So he doesn’t have to know, we can just hangout

 

Me
I’m good I’m not a cheat and I don’t play that game

 

Him
But he doesn’t treat you well

 

Me
Better than you and you don’t know him

 

Him
Give me a chance this time we will go places and do more things

 

Me
You had your chance

 

Him
I miss you and your tight pussy

 

Me
It’s all about sex with you

 

Him
I want to be more

 

Me
What? You love me? You’ve been persistent in contacting me every single day though I blocked your number

 

Him
You’re good

 

Me
In terms of?

 

Him
Everything

 

Me

 

Him
You miss me?

 

Me
No I don’t love you and you don’t really love me either

 

Him
Yeah, let’s make it more

 

Me
I don’t know about that

 

Him
I miss fucking you

 

Me
Find a whore or blowup doll

I drive by his house

Not by choice

It is the fastest route to get where I am supposed to be

It saves time, money, and energy

I live in the country

If I were to take to fastest route, I would have to drive in my town

to take the highway

I don’t have the time to search for a different method

It would be a waste of my energy

— he’s not that important

 

If he was that important

He wouldn’t have let me go like that

He didn’t like what I wrote in the final text I sent it

I made it clear what I wanted

He rejected but still wanted to be my ‘friend’

‘Friend’ meant fuck buddy

I decided enough was enough and I shot my mouth off

In a second, he was gone

I haven’t heard from since

 

But I get to see his house

when I drive to that city

That place it all happened

That place I hate with a passion

That place I wish I could erase

from my mind

But I can’t

A year later I got the ‘privilege’ of going back there

to study

(I got accepted in all the schools I applied too.

I just had to pick this one, probably because my mother.)

Not what I wanted

But I had no choice

But to sacrifice enormous amounts of money I don’t have

time, energy, and my well-being

 

For what?

What is the point?

 

So I can re-live what happened

again, again, until I go insane?

Or to put him in his cardboard-box shaped house

where he belongs.

He doesn’t belong with his motor vehicles and cars

He is immobile

He is stuck in that place

I am not

I am driving

Dear Loser,

I can’t stand you. Most of the time we are together, you irritate the fuck out of me. I don’t like sitting around watching television all day. That’s all you seem to like to do. If I wanted to stare at a screen, I would sit in front of my laptop.

I can’t speak to you. In person or on the cell phone, it doesn’t matter. If I try to talk to you about something I am thinking or feeling, you try to convince me it is wrong. I know it’s not wrong, but I am not going to argue. I know you can’t handle the truth. For instance, how about that time I told you how annoying your dog was or how much I hated the winter? You had to raise your voice at me, tell me I am stupid, and try to convince me that your views and ways are right and mine are wrong.

We have nothing in common. You know it. I know it. You try to tell me that I need to be more outgoing and friendly like you. Which is funny, because you are not. You like to think you are because you have a loud voice and love to hear yourself talk. You’re right I am not outgoing or friendly. I am not going to go up to some person and start a conversation, that is not me. At least I am not an asshole, hate people, or judge them based of their appearance. I can’t tell you how many times I had to bite my lip when I heard you call someone a dumb nigger, butch dyke, or faggot. The one time I did call you out for you, you told me I was stuck-up. The rest of the night you wanted nothing to do with me.

You are lazy.  You spend most of your free-time sitting in your room playing video games. When you go out, it is to drink. That’s all you do. But, I’m not exactly perfect either. I am in one of those periods of time where money and weather depend on what I do. I can at least say I am doing creative and productive things.

I constantly feel I am not enough. You hardly acknowledge I am in the same room as you. You will put your arm around me when we watch television, that is basically it. You hardly ever kiss me, hug me, or show me any other affection. It must be because I am disgusting, did something wrong, or am unattractive. I could share that this bothers — but in the events it did, it came out as an argument. I don’t like conflict, so I just avoid it. So I stopped arguing, or expressing my thoughts or feelings to you. I no longer see the point. I don’t matter.

I think I am loser. Therefore, I am a loser. There is nothing anyone or anything change do me. I am stuck.

This is a prison sentence. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to be with someone I really can’t stand or love. So why am I? Eventually the clock will run out and I will say, “I had enough.” And it is time to move on..