31 drunk thoughts

1. Halloween is on 31 and I’m going to be 31 in a week. Fuck.
2. I’m feeling weird like the first time I was pregnant. No, I don’t have coronavirus bitch.
3. What is this?
4. I had a drink where did it go?
5. Maybe I shouldn’t be drinking if I think I’m pregnant. I don’t seriously think I am. Do I?
6. I’d love to smash some pumpkins.
7. Monday I’m not going in.
8. Bitches would take me back part time.
That’s funny, you know I left?
9. Ironic, because he was trying to sleep with me too.
10. I haven’t ever heard back from them so I don’t know why they’re stalking my feed.
11. Thinking about hiring me? No. Do I look like I was born yesterday.
12. Hmmm maybe I should no.
13. There’s something in my nose.
14. I’m going to be out in about 20 mins.
15. Yeah, I’m waking up with a headache.
16. What is that noise?
17. It’s the sound of me dying again.
18. Maybe I should.
19. No.
20. No.
21. Fuck it. Why the fuck do I care? I don’t.
22. Yes.
23. No.
24. I’m bored.
25. I need to forget everything.
26. This is the wrong stuff.
27. The fuck, sometimes I get so mad and wonder why I stopped smoking weed.
28. Maybe that’s my problem.
29. Who cares.
30. I don’t because I’ve no idea when I’m going to be drug tested.
31. Whose creeping now?

Footage of an ‘Aquarius moon’ experiencing emotions

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I don’t feel anything. I’m emotionally numb and retarded. The only emotions I know are lust, desire, passion, and anger. I only feel lust, desire, and passion in bed. After I do it there’s nothing there. I’m empty. Someone pisses me off, I turn in 2 seconds to a raging asshole. Do I yell? Not unless I’m married to you. Strangers, acquittances, and co-workers I can forget about just as fast as they pissed me off. But if, I don’t I have some history, relationship, or interest in you — it’s different. I stay mad longer. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m mad until I’m alone in my head. Do anything about it? I try. But sometimes, the physical and creative work I do isn’t enough. So I get drunk and high a bit. It does nothing but get me out of myself. Do I have a problem? No. I don’t think drinking a few times a month or smoking weed once a blue moon means you have a problem. It’s a problem when you use them as a crutch. I don’t. I wish I could but that’s not me. I have a daughter now. I would never put her or myself in that position. I don’t even do those things when she’s around. I don’t judge people but they judge me. I don’t care enough about people in general to care what they’re doing.

Drunk comments

“I want to suck your pie
— I mean dick”

“Why don’t you bite me?”

“Why won’t you bite me?”

“I write 10,000 words a week. I don’t have time for another boyfriend.”

“I don’t want to get pregnant again I just want sex.”

“The ground is moving.”

“I took my shirt off because I feel like it.”

“I need new boobs.”

“Why don’t you choke me?”

“I like it rough.” *laughs and almost falls on ass*

We’re back together

I got really drunk last night
I texted him up and said I wanted to fuck
he came over at 12am
we had sex in the back of his car
he didn’t wear a condom
so I’m pretty sure I’m going to have his baby
I know when I tell him I’m pregnant he’ll want to marry me
I agreed to having threesomes whenever he wanted
we’re having one next week
if you’d like to join us, use the contact form on my website

 

Oh and,
April Fools!

Drunk me vs. Sober me

Drunk

“Want to have a threesome?”

 

Sober

“Threesomes are fucking disgusting.”

 

Drunk

“She’s hot.”

 

Sober

“She’s a ugly slut.”

 

Drunk

“Sure, I’ll suck your dick.”

 

Sober

“Why can’t you suck your own dick?”

 

Drunk

“I only cheated on you once.”

 

Sober

“You broke up with me.”

 

Drunk

“Find a hot girl and maybe I’ll kiss her — and we’ll have a threesome.”

 

Sober

“You have to get me really drunk to do anything.”

Expectation vs Reality – What I really been up too.

Expectation: Studying and writing an essay.
Reality: Reading a paragraph and writing a sentence.

Expectation: Going to dance practice.
Reality: Nail in tire. Sleep instead.

Expectation: I will go home tonight and get some sleep.
Reality: Going to your boyfriends house and having sex.

Expectation: I’m just going to watch television tonight.
Reality: Drinking Vodka and getting extremely drunk.

Expectation: No drunk sex.
Reality: Trying new-weird sex positions.

Expectation: Talking to boyfriend about life, problems, and feelings.
Reality: Arguing with each other. He made a comment about a girls boobs and you called him a disgusting pervert.

Expectation: Not spending money.
Reality: Buying a bunch of really cute clothes in the mall and online you wore once — and decided you look ridiculous in it.

Expectation: Putting a nose stud in. (corkscrew)
Reality: You just can’t fucking do it. Now you have a big red dot on your nose and it looks like a popped zit.

Expectation: Having dinner and going to sleep.
Reality: Trying a mixed drink — something weird like pineapple and Vodka. Mind racing — you stay awake staring at the ceiling for two hours.