Disney movie lessons


To be a man, you have to dress and act like one? It doesn’t mean you’ll be strong as one — unless you have a hot shirtless guy training you.


Mulan II

You have to figure out how to keep earth, sky, day, night, sound, silence, dark, and light in balance.


Lion King

Life is a circle.


Lion King II

It’s who you are.



Trust your heart, let fate decide. If you lose your parents, you’ll be raised by monkeys. (Until one day you grow-up and fall in love with a woman that teaches you English.)



White blonde men are ignorant assholes unless they learn how to paint.


The Little Mermaid

Life under the sea is better than the human world.



You steal only what you can’t afford.

What Characters names mean

Hello Kitty
Bye You-Shitty


Kiss me I’m Bella


Bird man


Steroid man


Rap in hell


Hell yeah


Prince Eric
Rich prick


Creep on steroids


Air head


Ring her bell


Peter Pan
Later man


Ride me up


Easter Bunny
Easy honey


Kiss my ass


I ran




Snow White
Now I ate

Names for Disney Movies

Peter Pan = Puck Man

If I pucker my lips, I become a “grown up.” I’ll try it, but I’m going back to Neverland…


Cinderella = C U Later

Hurry up. Dance with my prince. Run home. Maybe I’ll see him again, maybe I won’t. Wait, he’s got my shoe…


Aladdin = All In

I can’t be myself. I must go all out. Wear flashy clothes, and brush my hair — to look handsome and worth a lot of money. Pray to god no one gets caught in my web of lies.


Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs = A Stupid White Chick and Seven Dorks

The house must be clean. I can’t focus if it isn’t — especially with the seven roommates of mine who think I’m hot. Why? It couldn’t be because you’re the only chick in the area.


Beauty and the Beast = Bitch and the Bastard

If I could, I would spend all my time reading and dreaming — or simply scaring people away with my appearance. But wait, there’s more to life then this — show me?


Sleeping Beauty = Stupid Bitch

I’m just sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, and sleeping — my life away. When will my prince come and wake me up? Never? Okay — I guess that’s fine…


Pocahontas = Poke Your Ass

Hey dudes and chicks — did you know there’s more to life then killing creatures and owning land you have no right too? Do I need to stick a stick up your ass to get the message? — oh I can’t it has to be PG.


Mulan = Moron

I need to disguise myself as a man to bring honor to my family — being a woman isn’t enough. If I look like — act like a boy, I’m more likely to be accepted.


(Hundreds/thousands of years ago. It wouldn’t work in 2014, people can sense bullshit miles away.)