I am a writer
but I’m not a talker
you want to know
what I’m thinking
I’ll show you
you don’t
you’re afraid
behind that ego
you think you’re
too old
and have to be
at all times
let me tell you
it’s a joke
only people
with their heads
up their asses
give a shit

so maybe
you’re right
you’re unappealing
the egocentric
masked clown is
actually insecure
and doesn’t know
how to approach women
and you think
because I’m laughing
I don’t see it
honey, my gift is

The Truth

We all wear disguises. Everyone has a way to hide their true thoughts, feelings, desires, wants, and needs from the world/those that truly matter in their life. Maybe it’s because they don’t know what they are. Maybe it’s because they think it’s stupid.

I don’t know. I’d be the first one to admit, I have no clue what I’m doing whatsoever. I do know my own disguise enough though, to sense it on others.


Take the Robin William’s suicide — why was the world so shocked about this? He’s an actor and comedian — it is his job not to communicate to the world his sadness. It would possibly hurt his reputation or ego — then again we wouldn’t know, because we aren’t in his head.


What I do know is — I show the public what they want to see. If I’m miserable, I’m not going to tell you why I’m miserable — I don’t know you personally. If I see you in public — I most likely won’t speak to you. Like, what do you want me to say? If I just lost my job, if my boyfriend just broke up with me, if I just got drunk off my ass last weekend — I wouldn’t tell you either.


Now is that a disguise? I think not. It is the “I don’t know you Mask — why would I tell you?” and it’s possibly good for the both of us I don’t. Now running into cases with people you actually know and yourself — as an individual, it becomes an issue.

How to deal with that I don’t know. I take it day by day. I don’t understand life, that’s why I’m here.