Cure an Addiction 101

Chocolate

Eat more until your stomach hurts.

 

Alcohol

Drink as much as it takes to forget your name.

 

Porn

Goggle, “Chubby Dick.”

 

Coffee

Drink more, you obviously didn’t drink enough.

 

Sex

Just don’t get herpes or pregnant… you will die.

 

Music

Get new earphones so you won’t go deaf.

 

Working out

Only a problem when your legs hurt during sex.

 

Social media

Be a narcissist. If you’re into yourself, you have no problem.

 

Other food

Eat more until you want to throw up.

 

Drugs

Just. Don’t. Twerk.

 

…And this is why my career as a Psychologist never started.