Coming out as straight

I’m sorry people on the internet and people for coming out as bisexual in college. I made bisexuality look like a phase because it was for me. Two seconds with a woman I was like ‘this is gross, never again!’ I don’t think it’d matter if I was in a threesome against my will, I’d still have the same reaction!

Vaginas leak fluid. Vaginas sweat and smell bad if you don’t wash them or wash them correctly! Some have more hair than others. If you’re into that, fine. I’m not. I’d rather have a penis that comes in different sizes and colors. Some have more hair on their ball sacks than others. So. Well you don’t have to worry about them leaking any other fluid besides cum in your mouth.

Too graphic? Oh well. I assume most of you are over 18 and can handle it.

I’ve made my point. I am a woman that likes men. I am ‘straight’ ignoring all the screws up in my head lose. Every time I had an affair it was random or some muscular guy with tanned skin and blue eyes. I have a thing for guys with nice arms. Everything else doesn’t really matter.

Oh and I got knocked up after a night drinking margaritas. The millionth time I took plan B it didn’t work. At least I know who the father is, my husband.

Your work

is boring
you used to be funny
what the hell happened?
Now we don’t hear
from you for months
and it’s the same
blah prose shit
about some guy and girl
there’s no more
dialogue
making fun of names
if we wanted to
be bored as shit
we’d read Shakespeare
or listen to Taylor Swift
bitch

Really Awkward

Guy

Do you love me?

 

Girl

I don’t know what love is.

 

Guy

How much you love me?

 

Girl

I don’t know, how much do you love me?

 

Guy

A little.

 

Later…

 
 

Girl

It was really awkward.

 

Girl’s friend

Why?

 

Girl

I don’t love him.

 

Girl’s friend

Why didn’t you just tell him that?

 

Girl

Maybe I will next time I see him.

 

Girl’s friend

Why are you going to see someone you don’t love?

 

Girl

He’s good in bed.

 
 

Moral of the story: See someone you don’t love because they’re good in bed?