30 lessons in 30 years

1. 99% of the things I do is a waste of time.
2. You won’t make any money doing something you love or you’re good at, people that do are far and between.
3. My ability to give a fuck decreases with age.
4. Almost everyone will pronounce your name wrong even if it is simple, even if you correct them a million times — let them look stupid.
5. If you’re going to spend money on makeup, get something that makes a difference.
6. College was a waste of time and money.
7. I don’t care what people say, there is no cure for cancer. Cancer is a death sentence.
8. Differences in time zones.
9. You probably shouldn’t blow a stop sign in the neighborhood, there may be a cop around the corner.
10. If you know what you’re doing at any dance, kickboxing, or fitness class older women comment on how you should be an instructor.
11. I hate people and I still hate people. That’s why I have a job behind the scenes yet they still bother me.
12. Never wear blue lip gloss.
13. Temporary blue hair color is permanent. It doesn’t matter if it says it’ll washout in 5 days, it won’t! It’ll stay green for weeks…
14. Don’t spend money on nice sunglasses or boots, they’ll get destroyed.
15. Any idiot can bake, expect your husband. It’s called read instructions.
16. DNA is subjective.
17. You don’t know shit about being pregnant or having a newborn until you do.
18. Having a baby hasn’t changed the fact I still think and feel the same way about people and don’t want them around her.
19. The myth, ‘your hair will shed’ months after giving birth is true.
20. The bigger the tattoo, the more it itches.
21. Relationships and people are a dime a dozen.
22. Check reviews before you do anything from buying something to watching a movie.
23. The only thing you’ll ever truly be OCD about in life is laundry and coffee.
24. If you’re desperate for extra money, don’t work cleaning at a gym part time unless you’re confident you won’t get some weird disease.
25. Avoid anything that fells like a sweatshop.
26. Walk away from jobs and people you know isn’t working.
27. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dancing since 4 or 20, a good dancer can learn anything.
28. Try to avoid construction zones.
29. Mother died with secrets.
30. You don’t know what love or sacrifice truly is until it slaps you in the face.


is a bright red
regular ‘red’
would be boring
something she isn’t
she has a short attention span
and fuse when she is angry

She is bold
everything the people
around her isn’t

She hides
in the background
no one notices

She doesn’t love
so easily
she has been burnt
many times in the past
but when she does
she does

She fights
for what she
have she found
something worth
fighting for

Interview Questions

Tell me about yourself? What are your hobbies, interests, and abilities?

Is drinking a lot of coffee a sport? If It is, I’m almost a professional coffee drinker.

Interests. I need to bomb everything with color — or make myself go almost deaf with awful pop music.

Abilities. Did I mention I’m really good at swearing? I could almost be a fucking professional in running my fucking mouth.Why the fuck can’t I do that with my fucking life? Fuck me. I’m fucking fucked.


Are you able to lift 50+ pounds?

Of what?
If you’re talking about heads and people, I can do that — in my mind. I’m not superman.


Tell me about your past work experience?

When I was twenty-one I sent nude pictures to Playboy.


Have you ever convicted a crime/felony?

Relationships causalities? Oh yeah. I was a little whore.


Why do you want to work for us?

I need money. I don’t feel like taking my clothes off in front of a camera, though it is an option…