“Thank you for calling…”
Don’t fucking call me.
“Please… blah blah thank you”
It hurts my soul to be fake nice to people.
“Will you take a note for me?”
Get fucking voicemail like everyone else. I’m not a call girl. You think the only thing I do is take calls? Wrong.
“You tell him I called.”
Yeah, I literally can’t leave my desk. I’m busy, he’s busy, and I’m not calling him.
“Tell him I’ll be there in five minutes.”
I’ll get right on it. Dumb bitch.
“May I speak to the manager?”
No, here’s his voicemail. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone.
“Do you have a Facebook?”
“What about your parents?”
“I’m so sorry.”
I don’t need a pity party or your ill attempts at small talk. Next.