Odd questions at work

Do you have a razor blade?
Yes, I totally come to work and shave my business! Not.

How tall are you?
How tall does it look? I’m not short or tall. I’m boring average.

Do you have any tissues?
Nope. Let me not check my bag or car. Still no. If you’re sick, should you really be at work with what’s going on?

Where can I find windex?
Have you tried the store or Walmart? I’m not packing that either.

You’re pretty, did you take my money?
I don’t sell shit, so no. If you’re applying you’ll pay me $1,000+ for a stupid chair maybe I should reconsider.

How long have you been married?
3 years next month. Means nothing. We’d been together 8+ years. Why? You’re not my type. As if I really have a type, I don’t… very minimum he can’t be slow.

What is your relationship with the owner?
I have none. A few interactions here and there.

Have you ever pissed him off?
Not yet, or that I know of. I’m not trying to get fired or my hours cut!

The problems with gyms

I’ve been going to a gym for a decade now. It’s a great place to do your thing for the most part but…

 

They’re disgusting
If you go to one of those more expensive gyms, it’s probably clean. If you go to open of those basic or cheap gyms, it’s not. The locker rooms/restrooms are dirty to the point you notice the same shit marks that’s been in the toilet for weeks.

 

Why? They’re probably understaffed/don’t care.

Let me tell you the week I worked at a basic gym — I was the only cleaner and I worked at night. The manager bombed my phone with texts of complaints throughout the day instead of doing anything about it. Urinals were clogged with literal shit and gum. I kept finding clumps of hair everywhere. I said it was bad for my health and quit (because it was, you had all these germs and shit floating around and I was the only person to do anything about it).

 

Most of them have contracts
You suddenly have to move? They don’t care. You suddenly get sick or have some restriction where you can’t workout? They don’t care. They want their money. It doesn’t matter if you use the facility or services they offer or not.

Hell, when I got pregnant I stopped going to ‘elite kickboxing’ and here I am 9 months in and still paying for it! They said I could have 3 ‘free’ months when I come back. Bitch, it’s not free I had to pay for it! And you probably will require me to sign another contract! Fuck that. I’ll go read up other gym contracts that don’t want to charge me through the roof.

 

There’s different types of gym goers

The ones that only go to the gym to socialize… in the locker room or stand by a person when they workout and talk for a good 30 minutes. It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t in your way or if you couldn’t hear them. Even with earphones you can!

The ones that pay no attention to their surroundings and cut you off when they walk.

The ones that try to start a conversation with you about your appearance or workout routine… they’re really impressed and don’t appear to get out much.

The ones that smell… everyone sweats okay but not everyone wants your smelly ass in their space.

And the ones that used the locker room as a vanity room and sprays loads of perfume on. We get it, you smell and probably have to go to work after. But what makes you think spraying a ridiculous amount of cheap perfume is going to make you smell better?

 

 

Why can’t all gyms just I don’t know, not be disgusting, have no contracts, or people that need to get in your way one way or another? Because it’s too simple to exist.

Life at 31 weeks

I’m done, I’ve been done being pregnant for a while! I don’t know how or why my mother did this six times and delivered each one naturally! (She had the same frame as me but 4 inches shorter than me.) I feel and look like a blimp. Now it hurts when she sticks out. The punches and kicks, not so much but that could change.

I already had to pee a lot, now it’s just worst. If I have to go, I have to go. If I wait, it will make my uterus hurt. The last thing anyone wants is a UTI. I got one not pregnant by holding my piss in. Those aren’t fun and hurt like hell — and antibiotics suck.

I’m still working. My doctor told me she won’t take me out of work unless I have complications or high blood pressure. Sometimes I need to sit. I feel like I spend 70% of my time at work now taking a piss. I can’t drive home from work without feeling like my ribs are sinking in. And certain seating positions make my back hurt.

I look in the mirror and think I’m getting fat or my body dysmorphia from junior high school is back. Comments from strangers (mainly 40+ years old) about how I’m getting big, am big, or too small do not stop. They do nothing for me but piss me off and think, you wouldn’t say that to any other person that’s not pregnant. But because I am I’m supposed to deal with it and take it as a compliment though it’s not! I’d rather you greet me about my shoes! Then she sticks out and I’m like, it’s probably mostly her or I hope so. I learned what kind of music and food she reacts too.

Modern day violin and piano covers are her thing. I don’t mind, I don’t like classical music either. Her favorite is “My heart will go on” on YouTube by Taylor Davis. It makes me wonder if I should make her first name Rose instead her middle name. I won’t though, I’ve already set my mind. I wonder if she’s going to be more musically gifted than me. Then I could say musical talent skipped 3 generations. My great grandfather was a musician and influencer. I just hope she tries to enjoy more things than strawberry Frappuccinos and sour cream and onion chips. She moves when I have it like it’s the greatest thing on the planet.

Behind the scenes is chaos and frustration at home and work. It’s a miracle that I don’t have high blood pressure. I’ve been waiting for months to unpack my stuff and have space with my husband at the so called ‘apartment’ being worked on. To the point I think she’d come out and we’d have nothing ready. She’d have to live out of suitcase like me.

Work wise, I probably have to consider what I say online. Though my report was anonymous and if he did go against me, it’d hurt him more. I know my employer is being investigated and not just for me, but a series of violations. I will get paid family leave when it’s done but obviously he’s not going to be happy in the process. It’s not my fault he didn’t have a policy in place and pocketed all the money from his employees. If you have a business you should keep up on all the policies, taxes, and safety regulations. Once the state is involved… they have the power to shut you down.

She has her baby shower this Sunday. The only thing I’m looking forward to is the cake and the 3 people I invited that are going. I’m going to be again, surrounded by strangers that need to comment on my appearance. Then some fakeass relatives on my husbands side and friends of friends. Another time I wish I could be drunk or high at a party/event and can’t. It just means we’re getting closer and hopefully everything will be set soon.