Agh

I am mad
I’ve tried everything
I could to forget about it
I talked to people about it
I talked to the source,
I ran, skated, focused on my baby, punched a bag, applied to other jobs,
got drunk, seduced my man, slept on it,
and went for a ride
there’s nothing left
for me to do but
move on
and try to get another job
again
what if I can’t?
the vicious cycle continues
it’s easy for me to ignore
everyone but kinda hard
when I’d have to face them
again
and I guess, go back
to my writing and hope
someday it’s enough
to get me the hell out

‘Text an ex in isolation’

The dumbest headline I’ve seen all week.

If you’re single, okay. You have nothing to lose but your pride, ego, and mind. If you’re in a relationship, you’re playing with fire. Especially if your partner doesn’t know, it’s ‘emotionally cheating’ and leads to more drama than it’s worth. If you and your ex are able to be strictly friends, congratulations. That’s often not the case.

Been there, done that back in the day. Ultimately lead to me sleeping with them. Conflict? No, not really. More like okay, I’m completely over you and it wasn’t that good. What was I thinking? Hey, if that’s what you need to do to move on, go ahead. But if you’re trying to fill a void, it’s going to get you nowhere. Temporary fix for a problem. I know ‘isolation’ is boring and traumatic for some. What is talking to your ex going to do? Bring back things that should have stayed in the past.

I’m not saying you can’t fix it and get back together, and stay together. I’ve been there too. You know how many times my husband broke up and got back together? Too many. Because every time we broke up it lasted 24-72 hours. Eventually you need to grow the fuck and stop the bullshit. Yes, I’m quoting my mother and will probably say this to my daughter someday.

‘Make it or break it’ questions

I feel like the next time someone asks me about myself, I’m going to give them this link so I can stop explaining and answering the same questions.

 

Is that really you in your photo?
Yes.

 

What body type do you prefer?
Thin, athletic, or average.

 

Would you date someone taller?
I have in the past, so maybe.

 

Would you date someone shorter?
Men? No. Women? Maybe.

 

How often do you masturbate?
Why? This shouldn’t be public knowledge. If you’re worried about me being a porn addict or sex addict, I’m not.

 

How often do you have sex?
Not as often as you like to think.

 

Do politics interest you?
Hell no.

 

Do you believe in God?
No.

 

Do you have a religion?
No.

 

Are you spiritual?
Yes.

 

Do you eat meat?
The only meat I eat is chicken but I’m thinking about being a vegetarian.

 

Are a single parent?
No.

 

Are you looking for someone to have kids with?
No?

 

Are you monogamous?
Yes until I find out you’re cheating on me.

 

Have you ever cheated?
Years ago.

 

Will you cheat on me?
No, I’d dump you.

 

What is important to you?
Fitness and my work.

 

What is your sexual orientation?
Bisexual.

 

Does that mean you’re going to leave me for a man/woman?
No.

 

Do you have threesomes?
No.

 

Do you have an STD?
No.

 

Do you go to orgies?
No and I’ve never been to one.

 

Would you like to join my partner and I?
No.

 

Do you date a man and woman at the same time?
No, do you date two guys or two girls at the same time?

 

Why does your profile say you’re only looking for women?
Because I don’t want a man.

 

Are you gay?
No.

 

Are you experimenting?
No.
 

Is this a phase?
No.

 

How old are you?
26 years old.

 

What the fuck are you doing?
Fuck off.

How much of my writing is true

The question is whether or not it was my own idea — and what’s in it for me.

 

Own idea

My thoughts or stories from my life.

Yeah some details are blurry and some things I didn’t write down exactly as it was said. I don’t have the best memory in the world but by no means am I going to bullshit real stories from my life.

Fiction, screenplays, and poems — another story. I can bullshit all I want. If they were based off my life, no one would ever know.

 

Not my idea

Anything academic is bullshitted. I just do whatever they tell me to do because their is a grade involved. I don’t really give a shit about any if the papers I write about. If I did I would write about it on my own time.

 

I love to convince them

Wrong. Especially if I don’t know them or there is like I said — something in it for me. Damn well you bet I’m going to bullshit. Lies sell.

 

But…

If I don’t know you or love you though, I have no need to convince you or try to please me. That is the beauty about writing whatever you want.