Random thoughts

Edit

Edit again.

Another ice coffee or ice tea or Gatorade? Shit I’m almost out.

There’s a sale at Victoria’s Secret, again. Really bad for my wallet but I need a new bag, shirt, pants, perfume, etc because I want it.

I haven’t planned my story app in days too busy on other websites. There’s still NOTHING new.

I’m cold I want ice cream.

Protests? Meh. I don’t care. Don’t throw rocks at my car again asshole. I’ll slap you with a lawsuit.

I sued my employer, what makes you think I won’t sue you?

I have nothing to fear the inside of my mouth. I broke my tooth and it’s decayed.

Why can’t people leave me the fuck alone and let me write in peace!?

Don’t look at me like that. Don’t look at me at all.

Face masks are stupid. This entire thing is stupid.

You remember the times it was a big deal when you went to public places with your face covered? Those days are over.

If people asked, ‘hey, did you test positive for an STD?’ every time you went in public as mush as they did COVID, well…

I’m not looking forward to going back to work.

I’m looking forward to the day I get another job.

The guy in my writing I obviously slept with. Do you need concrete details about that too?

Relationships are stupid. Marriage is stupid too. It’s a contract.

I don’t need to date assholes anymore, I live with one.

I’m emotionally unavailable because I don’t have emotions.

The only person I care about is my daughter.

Hmmm, let me think… No.

He’s hot, I’d sleep with him. Expect for the fact he’s too straight edge.

I don’t have issues in that department. I have issues in the giving a fuck department.

I think the answer is I need new sunglasses.

I need to rethink this selling on Amazon bullshit.

I don’t know what I’m planning to do with my characters in this story. I’m just writing a crime novel.

I’m not drunk. I wish I was.

I really think that much about him. I write about him sometimes. Maybe I need a therapist. Fuck that shit. I’d rather waste money other places.

Drunk me vs. Sober me

Drunk

“Want to have a threesome?”

 

Sober

“Threesomes are fucking disgusting.”

 

Drunk

“She’s hot.”

 

Sober

“She’s a ugly slut.”

 

Drunk

“Sure, I’ll suck your dick.”

 

Sober

“Why can’t you suck your own dick?”

 

Drunk

“I only cheated on you once.”

 

Sober

“You broke up with me.”

 

Drunk

“Find a hot girl and maybe I’ll kiss her — and we’ll have a threesome.”

 

Sober

“You have to get me really drunk to do anything.”

Things guys don’t quite understand

I just came home, don’t talk to me

Especially joke. Chances are I’m hungry, tired, or miserable. If I was happy, you would know it — then and only then say whatever you want.

 

I can tell you’re looking at me

I get it, it’s normal to look at someone if they appear somewhat attractive, interesting, or weird. You could at least not make it obvious you are looking.

 

If I don’t laugh, I don’t think you’re funny

Just strange or annoying.

 

I can’t look you in the eye

I’m telling you what you want to hear to get you off my back. I’m clearly not interested.

 

If I laugh, I might like you

I’m not going to make the next move, it’s up to you.

 

If I have another man, it shouldn’t stop you

Just because I have a man doesn’t mean I’m going to stay with him forever. There is nothing wrong with us talking, it’s not like we are going to have sex.

 

I didn’t ‘fix’ myself for you

My hair looks good. My clothes look good. I didn’t do it for you, boo. I’m either going somewhere and/or did it for the hell of it — because that is how I am.

How much of my writing is true

The question is whether or not it was my own idea — and what’s in it for me.

 

Own idea

My thoughts or stories from my life.

Yeah some details are blurry and some things I didn’t write down exactly as it was said. I don’t have the best memory in the world but by no means am I going to bullshit real stories from my life.

Fiction, screenplays, and poems — another story. I can bullshit all I want. If they were based off my life, no one would ever know.

 

Not my idea

Anything academic is bullshitted. I just do whatever they tell me to do because their is a grade involved. I don’t really give a shit about any if the papers I write about. If I did I would write about it on my own time.

 

I love to convince them

Wrong. Especially if I don’t know them or there is like I said — something in it for me. Damn well you bet I’m going to bullshit. Lies sell.

 

But…

If I don’t know you or love you though, I have no need to convince you or try to please me. That is the beauty about writing whatever you want.

My Secret Operation System

We all have one. If you say you don’t, you’re lying.

 

Don’t ask, don’t tell.

Simple as that. If you don’t seem at all interested, why would I tell you what I am doing or thinking at any given moment?

 

I prefer you don’t ask

I don’t like questions. So you must have very good communication skills or something to get information out of me. I’m very good at holding/withholding information, by the way.

 

List of things I won’t tell you:

Anything at all about my personal life or background.

I’m not stupid, I know better.

 

I really don’t care about your problems

You talk all you want, it willy only annoy and bore me. I won’t emphasize or sympathize with you, I’m not a fool.

And hey, I have my own problems as well. I don’t talk about them.  I certainly don’t bitch, moan, or complain either.

 

I will never thank you for criticism

I just won’t. Criticism is never a positive thing. There is nothing you can say or do to prove me wrong. Say whatever the fuck you want though, you will anyways. It doesn’t bother me.

 

I remember everything

Not returning my texts or emails? Okay, fine. In the future when you ask me for favors or want to talk to me, I won’t be around. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. Do not underestimate my ability to ignore, remove, and block people that don’t matter from my life.

Treated me/people I actually know badly? I remember that. Don’t be blinded by me ‘accepting’ your friend request on Facebook, either. You know I only did that to see what the fuck you wanted. Nothing apparently, you just wanted to stalk me.