“Hippie girl”

he said
I laughed
how am I?
I don’t do the drugs?
I don’t have
multiple partners

But
he said
I see your eyes
I can read you like
nobody else can
I seen your anger
I heard you talk
about your mother
I know your capacity
for love and know
how you feel about me
your situation
my situation doesn’t matter

 

Right it did matter
because I did love you
you supposedly loved me
but you kept on
drinking and lying
ran from a DWI

You called me
you left messages
saying what you
said and felt was true

Then one day I heard
you can’t speak anymore
you had brain surgery
to remove a tumor
you’re no longer you
but I’m still me

 

“What happened?”

What happened to him?

Which him?

 

The him who is an alcoholic, mentally ill, wants to blame me for everything, and make it out like I’m the one with an issue?
The him who stalked me for years, sexually abused me, and asked to have a threesome with my younger sister and I?
The him who cheated on me numerous times?
The him who I dated but mostly hooked up with who lives a few hours away?
The him who I tried to date when I was a teenager but lives in another country?
All the other hims that are no longer in my life?

 

 

What happened to her?

Which her?

 

The her I talked to everyday for weeks and one day stopped talking to her all together for no apparent reason?
The her, one of my ex’s girlfriends that made he made me have a threesome with?
The her who lived down the hall from me in college who had a secret crush on me?
The her who I thought was sleeping with my boyfriend?
The her, a boyfriend’s ex girlfriend I messaged on Facebook about him?
All the other hers that used to be my friends or enemies?

 

 

Nothing happened because it already did.

 

What happened to you?

I changed, change, am changing…