I don’t feel anything. I’m emotionally numb and retarded. The only emotions I know are lust, desire, passion, and anger. I only feel lust, desire, and passion in bed. After I do it there’s nothing there. I’m empty. Someone pisses me off, I turn in 2 seconds to a raging asshole. Do I yell? Not unless I’m married to you. Strangers, acquittances, and co-workers I can forget about just as fast as they pissed me off. But if, I don’t I have some history, relationship, or interest in you — it’s different. I stay mad longer. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m mad until I’m alone in my head. Do anything about it? I try. But sometimes, the physical and creative work I do isn’t enough. So I get drunk and high a bit. It does nothing but get me out of myself. Do I have a problem? No. I don’t think drinking a few times a month or smoking weed once a blue moon means you have a problem. It’s a problem when you use them as a crutch. I don’t. I wish I could but that’s not me. I have a daughter now. I would never put her or myself in that position. I don’t even do those things when she’s around. I don’t judge people but they judge me. I don’t care enough about people in general to care what they’re doing.
She’s supposed to be in a ‘committed’ relationship but she wanders. She flirts with other people. She won’t necessarily sleep with them unless they get stuck in her brain. Should she have the opportunity? She probably would. Men love her. Women that know her business are either jealous or call her a whore behind her back. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t really believe in restrictions or negativity. If you want to do something, do it. You’re an adult. Why the fuck do people care what you do? They’re not doing anything. They’re not as careless and free as you. It’s not to say, she’s completely heartless and can’t love. She does. She’s passionate as hell. She has a hard time letting go, she lets things run it’s course. The problem is; sometimes she loves, likes, or desires more than one person at a time. That’d create conflict with the more ‘conventional’ people. She’s not an Aquarius sun, she’s a Scorpio sun with Aquarius moon and rising in the first house. She has more of a heart of an Aquarius than an Aquarius sun does.
I’m not like the Sun in Aquarius.
I’m not as ‘popular’ as they are.
No point in my life did I suffer from, “I’m cool” syndrome.
Growing up, people made sure I knew how lame I was.
I don’t think I’m special, I know I am special.
I don’t go around with an attitude or ego like I am.
I know there are people out there who are smarter, richer, happier, etc, than me.
I am special because I’m not afraid to be me.
There are many people that are afraid to be themselves or care too much what people think.
I don’t care what people think of me.
Their opinions do nothing for me one way or another.
I’m different, it’s hard to find someone like me.
I connect with everyone person I meet on some level.
I don’t judge anyone as I know what it is like to be judged.
My DNA is mixed.
I’m an old spirit that feels like a young spirit.
I’ve had numerous past lives.
I have a sense of humor.
I’m a humanitarian and creator.
I have a strong understanding of human nature.
I know a lot about many things.
I don’t act like a know it all because I’m not.
I’m here like everyone else, to work on my problems and learn things that will help me in my next life.
I don’t think I’m God.
I don’t think I have magical abilities, though I do.
I have the ability to see the future, sense energy, and see spirits.
I try to find a logical explanation for these things among other things that goes on in my life.
Intimate relationships don’t come easy to me.
I’m emotionally independent, and don’t need a man or woman in my life to be happy.
I’m not one to write mushy letters or love notes, though I am writer.
I’m more likely to do something nice or make them something.
I can’t explain why I’m like that, I just am.
I’m only likely to communicate in words or writing what I think or feel, when the time is right.