30 lessons in 30 years

1. 99% of the things I do is a waste of time.
2. You won’t make any money doing something you love or you’re good at, people that do are far and between.
3. My ability to give a fuck decreases with age.
4. Almost everyone will pronounce your name wrong even if it is simple, even if you correct them a million times — let them look stupid.
5. If you’re going to spend money on makeup, get something that makes a difference.
6. College was a waste of time and money.
7. I don’t care what people say, there is no cure for cancer. Cancer is a death sentence.
8. Differences in time zones.
9. You probably shouldn’t blow a stop sign in the neighborhood, there may be a cop around the corner.
10. If you know what you’re doing at any dance, kickboxing, or fitness class older women comment on how you should be an instructor.
11. I hate people and I still hate people. That’s why I have a job behind the scenes yet they still bother me.
12. Never wear blue lip gloss.
13. Temporary blue hair color is permanent. It doesn’t matter if it says it’ll washout in 5 days, it won’t! It’ll stay green for weeks…
14. Don’t spend money on nice sunglasses or boots, they’ll get destroyed.
15. Any idiot can bake, expect your husband. It’s called read instructions.
16. DNA is subjective.
17. You don’t know shit about being pregnant or having a newborn until you do.
18. Having a baby hasn’t changed the fact I still think and feel the same way about people and don’t want them around her.
19. The myth, ‘your hair will shed’ months after giving birth is true.
20. The bigger the tattoo, the more it itches.
21. Relationships and people are a dime a dozen.
22. Check reviews before you do anything from buying something to watching a movie.
23. The only thing you’ll ever truly be OCD about in life is laundry and coffee.
24. If you’re desperate for extra money, don’t work cleaning at a gym part time unless you’re confident you won’t get some weird disease.
25. Avoid anything that fells like a sweatshop.
26. Walk away from jobs and people you know isn’t working.
27. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dancing since 4 or 20, a good dancer can learn anything.
28. Try to avoid construction zones.
29. Mother died with secrets.
30. You don’t know what love or sacrifice truly is until it slaps you in the face.

30 Scorpio secrets

Because I’m turning 30…

 
1. Your boyfriend flirted with me.
2. Your boyfriend kissed me — he’s a bad kisser, don’t worry I don’t want to sleep with him!
3. Slept with someone’s boyfriend, not intentionally of course.
4. When in Rome…
5. If I have to think about my feelings for you, they’re non-existent.
6. Hooked up with an ex(s) once, twice, or thousand times because the sex was good.
7. Don’t have any/many friends.
8. Like to be alone, value solitude, and don’t need people to be happy.
9. If I’m in a relationship with you and don’t want to have sex with you; you can be sure you’re either turning me off or I’m sleeping with someone else.
10. Depending on who you are, I probably won’t give you an honest answer how many people I slept with.
11. I do pick and choose.
12. I don’t find people fascinating.
13. Ideas are more interesting.
14. If you want to seduce me, don’t bother. I either want you or I don’t.
15. Should I think about an ex? It’s only because they were good in bed and I’m bored with you.
16. I go to the gym for my sanity, not because I’m trying to lose weight or reach some goal.
17. I don’t believe in one soulmate, we have many.
18. These days I spend more time fantasizing about doing crazy shit to my hair.
19. I was a terrible student.
20. Yeah, teachers and peers didn’t get me. I lived in my own world and didn’t care.
21. I developed thick skin early in life.
22. Sometimes I could be angry and not know why.
23. I assume most people don’t like me and I’m okay with that, I don’t like most people.
24. I can be secretive but trust me, I’m brutally honest too.
25. I’m probably hiding some past things from my partner.
26. I probably hide my money too.
27. There is but one person I truly trust in this world, myself.
28. Should I check someone out? Hardly ever. They’d have to have nice arms or eyes to get my attention.
29. I don’t believe in marriage.
30. Now I understand. The only person I’ll truly love in this world is my daughter.