His voice

sounds familiar 

not quite like his was 

but too inviting 

I know he’s trying 

to be nice or professional 

yet the way he looks

at me says otherwise 

attraction maybe 

on whose or what end

I’ve hardly had a look

at his face 

he’s tan and has nice arms 

shit

I’m not doing that again 

though desks and empty 

places were fun 

‘Front desk’

I answer the phone the same way every time, “Thank you for calling …. How may I help you?”

Why? It’s easier for me and I was trained to be a robot. I was told I can’t say “Hello” when I answer the phone it’s unprofessional. I said the girl that trained me did. She’s said it right in front of them, they thought nothing of it. Hypocrisy.

I say, “One moment please,” to everyone and put everyone on hold. Why? I direct calls. That’s it. I don’t schedule appointments. I’m not going to dig up information. Not my issue. I often receive multiple calls at once. So you’re lucky you get in. Now shut the fuck up and wait or don’t fucking call.

It’s also not my issue how long you wait or if someone picks up. Hello, people are paged numerous times. One particular person is an asshole and never answers when I page. You get his voicemail. It’s aggravating to me because each time he doesn’t answer it beeps back to me numerous times. Then I again, have to stop what I’m working on.

So no, I don’t just answer the phone. They make me do stupid accounting and sorting shit. Neither I’m qualified for but not my issue.

And I have to talk to EVERY SINGLE person that comes in and screen their temperature. Reads 93.5, 94.7, 93.8, 95.1, etc. Super fucking low and inaccurate but they make me do it. If someone actually had a fever, it wouldn’t catch it. I can’t imagine 93.5 is a normal or healthy temperature?

How to be a ‘psychic reader’

Big secret, I was a ‘psychic reader’ on a foreign website back in the day. Let me tell you, it takes zero experience or knowledge. Although, I mean my longstanding knowledge of the zodiac and New Age practices got me in the first place. (I was basically raised to be? My mother had the books and taught me some things.)

Anyway, it does require you to have the ability to answer a question. Not a simple yes or no, often the answer about their problem or ‘future’ is in the question. So it is necessary to have a STRONG UNDERSTANDING OF HUMAN NATURE. 

Don’t get it? I’ll show you…

“Are we going to have a relationship? He’s an Aries, I’m a Pisces.”

GOING TO? So, you’re implying that you don’t already. My answer is NO. Oh hun, an Aries would have no issues making things official with you — if you were headed that way. You’re too nice.

“When will I get married?”

The fact you’re asking me that tells me either you’re single, desperately want to tie the knot, or bored in life and looking for answers. You WILL get married WHEN you stop looking. 

“Are we soulmates? I’m a Gemini, he’s a Leo.”

Interesting signs. Guess what? It doesn’t tell me shit besides you believe sun signs can predict if you’re soulmates. If they do exist, my answer is NO. You wouldn’t be asking me if you were. You’d be confident in your relationship. 

Stories type app games rant

It’s our escape from all the shit online in and real life. Why the hell do we need to buy gems or passes for choices? For a stupid outfit or hair, really? And all the featured stories are lame or boring. Then we read COMMUNITY stories written by different people instead and we’re expected to PAY gems every TWO chapters. It wasn’t like that before. If you’re trying to rank stories try having a stars or thumbs up option. And the authors gets gems or money for every positive hit. It’s ridiculous. What was a fun game is no more. No wonder why you’re losing people.

“Sexy smart lady”

he said. He’s so impressed by my life choices from what I drive and up and leaving workplaces. Haha. Is that supposed to charm my pants off and make me want to sleep with him? It doesn’t. We’ve done it before — several times. We even tried dating each other open and ‘exclusively’ a handful of times.

So what? We’re ’friends that talk and never see each other’. Why? I’m a mother. That’s the only thing that’s changed between us. He may flirt but I don’t even respond with anything suggestive or serious. Why play the game 20 year olds do? We’re in our 30s.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t like him. Obviously I do if I’m still talking to him after all this time. I never wanted to give him false hope. He was the guy I saw everytime I was conflicted over someone else. I never picked him though. He thought it was because he wasn’t enough. No, it’s because some things aren’t meant for you. We’re better off as ‘friends’.

‘You’re calm and not a weirdo’

she said staring at my blonde hair. I can say I’ve never heard those two words in the same sentence at a job interview in my life, ever.

I’m thinking, you think I’m calm? Yes. I’m in public and at an interview, of course I am. I’m only batshit crazy at night when my husband pisses me off. It’s honestly not hard to piss me off, I’m an expert at hiding it and either walking out or exploding if it’s serious. But let’s not talk about it.

I’m in my early thirties, by now I know how to carry myself and read people. It’s not rocket science. I am weird. I don’t pretend but I also don’t go around batshit either. I’m up before sunrise and go to the gym or run. I only drink iced coffee. I have a Bachelors degree and nothing but shitty jobs to show for it. Let’s not talk about the stories I self-published, my past, or family. And especially not anything that goes on in my head…

Always the one

aware of my surroundings
know whose watching
and doesn’t care

I’ll come in
and leave on my clock
why the hell do I have
to wait for everyone else?
I don’t

I’m nothing special
but I’m also not one
you can play or fool
all are imaginary strings
that don’t exist

so you’re right
I won’t last long
I’m not a puppet
I am the one pulling
the strings you think exist
you expect me to
kiss your ass
and worship the ground
you walk on? not going
to happen

I may still have
no clear direction
where I’m going
but I know this
1. Fuck you.
2. I’m not a servant.
3. There’s a million other things I could be doing.

Common endings

‘Romeo and Juliet’ type scenario
A love that is forbidden and doesn’t sense to family, friends, outsiders, society, culture, etc. And then in the end they both die and stay together for eternity. So romantic. So romantically stupid. You should just let your fucking characters live as if they were real people.

 

‘Will you marry me?’
Yeah because every story in real life ends with ‘will you marry me’? No, that’s another chapter in life.

 

A wedding
Yeah because weddings are awesome and everyone enjoys seeing one. Haha. As much as we do want our characters to be happy, we don’t need to close their story out that way. There has to be something that happens after you get married, right?

 

Proposal, marriage, and babies
Why? That’s how we think it should go. People get married and have babies. Yes. We still want to believe there’s more chapters in life than that. You know, marriages end. Family members die. Your babies grow up. You change jobs. You may travel some places.

 

Or…

Graduations
Ceremonies
Parties
Trips

 

All events that happen in life but common, so boring and unoriginal. Something different…

Honest Article

Here’s pictures of random shit anyone can find on the internet: ____

I got this idea by staring at my ceiling. Really. I have two dream catchers hanging in my room.

I going to word vomit the obvious because you’re talking about paying me for my work.

I don’t know nothing more about this topic. I would love to leave you some pictures and links and you can look at it yourself. Who reads literary magazines anyway?

I don’t but I’m thinking about creating one. Haha. I’m a dumbass but I love being in control – of my fucking life and work. It’s no wonder I left my last job. I’m not a ‘yes man’.

I’m probably not going to be your intern either. More like, I’ll be looking for interns in the future if I expand. I have my own website. Why do I need to write shit on some man’s website? Because he MIGHT pay me. Haha. Next.

The best note I ever left

‘I should not under any circumstances deal with passive aggressiveness every time there’s an issue with my daughter… not a coincidence when something happens and the next day, another petty thing.’ I left the damn keys in the closet with my uniform shirts and left without a word. Few hours later she asked me when I’m returning from lunch. I didn’t respond.

My best attempt at still trying to be ‘professional’ and straight to the point before I walked away.

What I really meant? Haha, prepare yourself.

The review I read about having to be a “yes man” to work there is true. I’ve been biting my tongue and fighting my urge to fucking leave for six months now. I do my job so fast and well you’re busy looking for stupid shit because you’re bored. Cobwebs? A little dust in a corner? A tiny mark on the toilet seat? Really!? You know the only people that find those things are looking for it or OCD!

Anyway, your problem with me is I didn’t “Hello” or “Good morning” most of the time. Why the hell would I go out of my way to talk to you? I don’t give a shit if you’re my ‘supervisor’. It should be nice when I do it but not expected all the time. Then, well my daughter is sick. Not Covid. Not something I made up to call off of work. You had kids you should know how that is. It’s not like I called off to get out of working. If you didn’t believe me you could have requested a doctors note. Did you? No. Instead you’re all blah blah blah you’re ‘too fast’ and I want you to do more boring detail work.

‘And also the fire extinguishers…’ listen you dumb bitch I’ve told you months ago what was going on with them. And I’ve also been doing the same shit the past six months. Now it’s an issue because I called off for my daughter!? Really? REALLY!?!?!?!? Someone was on a power trip AGAIN because something didn’t go her way. And I’m permanently done being some fucking servant for slow boringass people.