Unfiltered COVID thoughts

‘It’s not political people are dying’
Yeah, that’s why the big man is doing little but trying to get us checks. And people spend more time talking about it then anything.

Stop trying to normalize masks.
There’s nothing normal about wearing a stupid cloth on half your face. The only thing it prevents really, is from people smelling your bad breath and seeing you frown.

‘But it prevents…’
It’s not political? OKAY, show me hard scientific facts it does anything.

The last thing I want is for my daughter to grow up with this shit.
There’s nothing ‘normal’ about it. I hope it’s all gone by the time she goes to school. If not, I’d love to quit my job and homeschool here.

No, she is NOT wearing one when she turns 2.
Even if this thing is still going on. I’d rather not take her out in public, like I do now. Besides she won’t do anything but try to suffocate herself with it.

Are you a worker?
If not stop bitching about wearing a mask when you go out in public. An hour or two is a lot different than 40 hours a week.

Go ahead refuse wearing one
but it’s not going to help you get what you want. So your other choice is not go out.

Thoughts on video services

YouTube
You know there’s a thing you can pay YouTube to watch some movies and shows? I know nothing about it. I go on YouTube to watch people fuck up their face, rant, listen to music,
and do dumb shit I wouldn’t do in everyday life — for FREE.

 

Netflix
You’re not only losing subscribers because you raised prices. You’re losing subscribers because your content sucks. Don’t get me wrong, SOME originals are good. Most of them are garbage. Most of the time when I go on my account I wonder ‘why am I still here?’ they don’t put any new movies or shows out I want to watch.

 

Hulu
OKAY. Here we finally have some NEW content but limited selection unless I want to pay for an add-on and I don’t. If I’m that desperate to watch something, someone in the house still pays for cable or I could do a simple google search online and watch it somewhere else.

 

Amazon prime video
Why Amazon? Is it because you’re already the king on the internet and you thought you should have some sort of streaming service too? At least I have a last resort if I can’t find the movie or show I’m looking for. But I’m not a prime member and you should stop asking me to sign up for it every time I click on something on the website.

Thoughts about the latest beauty community drama

Tati called out James Charles on social media for some stuff. Jeffree Star went on Twitter and blasted some tweets and deleted them. Tati feels the need to explain why she did it. James Charles responds with receipts. Jeffree Star says something about coming forward with receipts on Snapchat and instead just talks about his side of knowing rumors and saying some things he shouldn’t have.

Fans are still being like end so and so on all their ends. I feel like the majority of people like me though are like, well y’all should have been able to handle this like adults behind closed doors. And a lot of people say and do shit online. It doesn’t make them a bad person. I’m sure we all have at one point. We live in a world people are quick to jump the gun. Also a sickening world we’re dozens of YouTubers and gossip platforms are using this as another story to exploit and profit of it. Can’t tell you how many recommendations I’ve seen and how many stories online and the news about it. Then I’m like, I’m glad we live in a world that drama like this matters more than the real issues in the world.

I’m indifferent towards James, I have been since I came across his channel. Probably because I’m 29 years old and he’s going on 20. I connect more with Tati and Jeffree. BUT I would like him to grow into a better influencer and I’m sure he will in time. I’m not wishing his downfall. As for Tati and Jeffree, I hope they heal over this. And I don’t know, maybe one day get back to being friends with James in the future. They all need to keep in mind they’re big influencers. What they say and do does leave an impression on their younger audience.

And no, I am not getting paid to write this… 😂🤣 #justsomeonesickofseeingandhearingthedrama

Thoughts about weed

It’s 420.

Big deal. It has no significance in my life. If it does for you, cool. I won’t judge you for it unless you’re a bad stereotype.

I don’t have a problem with weed. I’ve done it. I don’t care for the joint, it smells like skunk and leaves me stinking. I’d vap the short period of time I used it to self diagnose my anger after my mothers death. Did it really help? No. Only some time did.

I have a problem with people that do it with zero regard to the people around them especially at work or a public place with no ventilation. Not everyone can or would like to smell that shit. If you’re going to do it go to your car or on your own time at home. It’s not even legal in New York State.

And the bad stoner stereotype that gives weed a bad name. Doesn’t work, doesn’t want to work. Crashes on someone’s couch and gets someone to pay all their shit. Wants to do nothing but get high and sleep all day. I meant someone like that and let me tell you, his dealer shouldn’t have been giving him shit. He couldn’t even pay him without pawning shit.

Not all are like that but it’s those people that stop it from making it legal in places that’s not California.

“Do what you want with your name”

she said in the last conversation I had with her before she passed. She didn’t tell me whether or not I should filter the truth. Should I fictionize it completely to protect my ass? Obviously I need to change names but also the workplace? But he never made us sign a form stating we can’t share information about what goes on nor our experiences. Even if he did, do you know how many malls there are in the world? You can’t prove it’s yours.

Of course I wrote a 50 page draft in a fictional restaurant and characters that didn’t feel real. I lost interest in it and haven’t seen it in about 2 years now. The only writing I’ve done has been on my blog. For a while I thought it was to get revenge on an ex supervisor that treated us like shit or to expose how fucked I am — but it wasn’t. It was to expose what really happened behind the scenes. Something anyone can relate too whether they work some shitty minimum wage job, decent, or fancy one.

Sex in the workplace, workers that go off for hours during their shift no one notices, drug dealing, smoking marijuana or doing other drugs at work, drinking, etc.

So what happened to that story? It didn’t have a plot. People kept doing shit for no reason at all. How many times can you watch a character fuck up and get annoyed over the same repetive shit? Probably until the end he finally gets arrested for a DWI. Then it gets boring and life goes on. His love interest ends up pregnant by her husband. It sounds more like some lifetime shit and less like the interesting SCI FI stories I had old men operating on someone’s brain.

So I’m left with the question, what is a story worth telling?

Thoughts about October

It’s not as hot out
the leaves are changing colors
It’s beautiful
even when it rains
love all the Halloween stuff
it is my Christmas
I hate it when stores skip
the entire fall season
and head into Christmas shit
I won’t step foot in those stores
it reminds me of the
‘Nightmare before Christmas’

It like costumes
cool shit
horror
paranormal movies
haunted
anicent
anything
insane makeup
glitter
magic
candy
I have since I was a kid
in addition too
pumpkin carving
corn mazes
hay rides
apple cinder
Halloween Oreos
jumping in leaves
trick or treating

It was also the month
I meant my future husband
and the month I got married in
our first few dates were in the park
watching the leaves change

Perhaps someday, if I have a kid
I will do all those things
my mother did with me
and teach him/her
our ancestors invented Halloween

Just my beliefs

If eating animals are wrong, why aren’t eating plants wrong?
They’re living, breathing things too. We don’t know if they think, feel, or speak. Because we can’t hear them, read their mind, or feel their pulse doesn’t mean they’re less of a living thing than we are.

 

I would vote for cockroaches for president before Trump.
Cockroaches can live through wars. If we elect cockroaches as our president, we’d have no other option then to get our shit together or leave the country. Something we need to do but haven’t had anything kick us in the ass yet.

 


What I eat isn’t due to my…
Lifestyle choice, religion, or how I was raised.

I eat what I want, when I want I don’t think that much about it. Maybe I had in the past when I had health/body issues. Obviously, I’m not going to touch something I don’t like or is loaded in fat and grease.

I’m not religious. Me eating not eating meat has nothing to do with me being Atheist, Christian, or Buddhist because I’m not. I’m sure some religions have diet restrictions set in them, don’t ask me because I walked out of my “World Religions” class in the beginning of my college career — it put me to sleep.

My mother raised me to eat right or whatever she put in front of me until I was a certain age. She stopped fighting with me to ‘eat right’ and let do what I want.

 

I think Astrology is a tool to help you understand yourself and people around you, it’s not an exact science or anything to live by.
I don’t care if you believe in Astrology or not — or how much you know about it. If you call me crazy or act like the sun sign is the most important factor in understanding yourself/someone/compatibility, I have little to no interest in talking to you. Closed minded or arrogant people piss me off.

 

I believe past life regressions help you understand where you come from but it’s not by any means, something to take to heart.
There is no evidence to say whether or not reincarnation is real — and you can’t worry so much about who you were or what you did in your past life it’s not who you are today.

 

Who people marry, what they do with their lives, or whatever is none of my concern/business.
We live in a fucked up time period and world where everyone needs to know everyone else’s business because of social media. Before social media, we went about our lives the natural way. Once people were out of lives, they were OUT. Sometimes we’d get a phone call or letter from them if they were anywhere significant in our life. If you “followed” someone the natural way, you’d be stalking them which is illegal.

Make it or Break it?

Laws of attraction? Everyone is different and don’t look for the same thing in their potential lovers. These are my make it/break it things. Don’t take this too seriously, I mean nothing by it. My only intention is to get you thinking about what your make it/break it.

 
 

Men

 

Make it
Some facial hair

Break it
Looks like a pedophile

 

Make it
Nice short hair

Break it
Long hair

 

Make it
Nice arms

Break it
I have more muscles than him

 

Women

 

Make it
Born a female

Break it
Use to be a man

 

Make it
Beautiful hair

Break it
Short hair or weird colors

 

Make it
Nice legs

Break it
Big muscular arms

 

Both genders

 

Make it
Are in good shape

Break it
Obese

 

Make it
Can have an interesting conversation with

Break it
Only knows about a few subjects

 

Make it
A sense of humor

Break it
Dry, boring

 

Make it
Is also a writer and/or creative type of person

Break it
Has an issue with writers and/or creative people

 

Make it
Likes to have fun and try new things

Break it
Would rather watch television all day

 

Make it
Doesn’t smoke, abuse drugs or alcohol

Break it
Smokes, abuses drugs or alcohol

 

Make it
No kids

Break it
Kids

Why I don’t want to get married or have kids.

Philosophy: You’re in a prison sentence once you decide to get married. You made a lifetime commitment. Once you have kids, you’re no longer in prison. Your life is completely over.

 

Marriage

For me to get married, I need to find someone that fits me. I mean, really fits me. I can’t be with someone if I know I’m not going to be happy or annoyed 24/7. That’s not a healthy relationship.

At the point I am at in my life right now I can’t think about marriage. I haven’t exactly came to my full, to accept another person’s full. I can love all I want, I just can’t make that big of a commitment.

 

Children

Kids generally annoy me. It’s not that I hate them or am a bad person, it’s just I have no patience. Yelling and crying sets me off. I can’t imagine having to take care of one.

If I were to get pregnant right now, I would get an abortion. It sounds bad but hey, I have to be honest with myself. I am no position to have a kid right now nor do I want one. I don’t think bringing a child in my chaos, unhappiness, instability, and confusion is best for the child either. I would be automatically setting the child up for a difficult life. Maybe a child ten years from now, who knows — and if I even want one. I don’t know.

Valentines Day.

I don’t want…

Flowers, a card, chocolate, or jewelry.

Flowers die.

The words on the card aren’t written by you.

Chocolate makes me fat.

A necklace or ring is pretty.

I will wear it once and forget about it.

 

I want…

 

Something from YOU.

Make me a card, write me a poem, paint me a picture, make me dinner

— I don’t care.

It comes from YOU.

Not something from the store.

It means nothing.

 

Spend TIME with me.

Away from all responsibilities.

You don’t have to spend money, we can go for a walk.

We can even give each other massages all day — I don’t care.

 

All I want.

All I need.

Is YOU.

 

Remind me why we fell in love in the first place.

It wasn’t influenced by anything commercial or generic.

It was two people, us…

Who let our walls down.