Anger issues

Slow people
Hurry up or get the fuck out of my way

Slow drivers
MOVE or I’ll make you move I’ve already planned out every scenario in my head

WTF did you call me!?
It’s one thing to say my name wrong, another to give me a nickname without asking me if anyone calls me it! You have a death wish? I’ll plan your funeral Kenny. Not your name? HAHA piss off.

“Hi, how are you?”
“The weather…”
“How was your day?”
BLAH BLAH BLAH. Enough with the fucking small talk. I don’t like you. I don’t want to speak to you. Fact, I don’t like anyone in this dump. It kills and drains my soul having to be fake nice to you mindless kissasses.

‘Why do you leave early?’
Because I don’t want to fucking be here. It’s also bullshit I’m constantly early and none of you idiots can be on time.

‘My friend I think you need to let me fuck you, you’re obviously not happy’
HAHAHAHA. I already fucked you numerous times in the past. It’s not life changing. I don’t have issues there. And I wondered why you’re still single — not.

Sometimes I wish I was single
I’m basically alone it’s too much work listening to a big whineass everyday

And no that’s not why I’m like the way I am so piss off

‘Sexual harassment’ at work

Mandatory meeting, they said.
Why, nobody is getting harassed?
That I know or care to know of.
I know someone called the owner a narcissist and you only do well if
you’re a “yes man”.

I can somewhat see how that’s true
counting the few comments in the passing
or just this weird vibe he gives off
he asked me to be in a commercial
with him, why? I’m not being a
narcissistic but we all know
I’m the most attractive female here
because I’m ‘young’
so why not try to make yourself
look good? I declined
I don’t give a fuck about
‘gaining popularity’
last thing I want is people
coming here and thinking I sell shit
I don’t
it’s bad enough everyone refuses
to ‘do their part’ and disinfectant
the store, nope I was called upon
to do it along with everything else

I’m off subject
only comment someone has made to me
is “damn” and looked at my ass
he’s ‘special needs’ and has
no idea when he’s being inappropriate
is that an excuse, no?

I almost gaged at the part
‘don’t have sexual relationships at work, have them outside if you’re both consenting it’s not harassment’
why? Gee, perhaps I had sexual
relationships with men at a job
not here, the men are all boring
or too old
one of the few times I take pride
nobody has a clue about
my past or who I am
thank god

“We’re essential,”

he said. Why? Because they now sell appliances? You know, back in the old days people had to wash everything by hand. Essential? My ass. Like the owner will do anything to stay in business. You can bet your ass I’m going to report him if I’m pushed to work if another shutdown happens. Not because I’m lazy. I have a one year old daughter. I don’t want to be out in this shit. Hell, I order everything online. A privilege I know, I’m sorry Amazon workers. You also shouldn’t be out in this shit.

My husband works at a car dealership as a manager of some sort. He’d be sent home. Why? Cars aren’t essential either. You’re sent home by the government, where the hell do you need to go? Exactly. In old times people also took buses, taxis, or farther more horses to get places. Cars are also a luxury.

So if there’s anything you learn at all what is necessary, think of the shit you have and don’t necessarily need. I bet somewhere one of your ancestors is laughing and rolling their eyes at you.

31 drunk thoughts

1. Halloween is on 31 and I’m going to be 31 in a week. Fuck.
2. I’m feeling weird like the first time I was pregnant. No, I don’t have coronavirus bitch.
3. What is this?
4. I had a drink where did it go?
5. Maybe I shouldn’t be drinking if I think I’m pregnant. I don’t seriously think I am. Do I?
6. I’d love to smash some pumpkins.
7. Monday I’m not going in.
8. Bitches would take me back part time.
That’s funny, you know I left?
9. Ironic, because he was trying to sleep with me too.
10. I haven’t ever heard back from them so I don’t know why they’re stalking my feed.
11. Thinking about hiring me? No. Do I look like I was born yesterday.
12. Hmmm maybe I should no.
13. There’s something in my nose.
14. I’m going to be out in about 20 mins.
15. Yeah, I’m waking up with a headache.
16. What is that noise?
17. It’s the sound of me dying again.
18. Maybe I should.
19. No.
20. No.
21. Fuck it. Why the fuck do I care? I don’t.
22. Yes.
23. No.
24. I’m bored.
25. I need to forget everything.
26. This is the wrong stuff.
27. The fuck, sometimes I get so mad and wonder why I stopped smoking weed.
28. Maybe that’s my problem.
29. Who cares.
30. I don’t because I’ve no idea when I’m going to be drug tested.
31. Whose creeping now?

So intriguing

I am, you watch me
do what? Post pictures and videos
of my daughter haha
like millions of other people

Why is that?
I don’t know
I don’t have the
slightest clue who
you are
don’t matter

it’s not like I’m
going to provide
my life story
and personal business
on my feed
that’s why I have novels
I hardly mention
among other things
I’m not a millennial
that enjoys ‘self-promoting’
I also never say where I work
why? I fucking hate it
and don’t want anyone showing up

So my daughter is cute
I’m a mother
should have followed me
years ago when I wasn’t
in this life
maybe I would have been
more fascinating
and less likely to swollen
my pride
haha, yeah right
I was never an open book
that’s what made me a ‘writer’

Atypical

white rich man
dresses in suits
drives some expensive
sport car that sucks
in the snow
has Trump stickers,
hats, signs, etc
all over his office
to vote for him
because you don’t
like or trust the other candidate
is one thing but to actually
full on support and like him
is another… in my opinion

I’m forced to go in
each morning
and collect his trash
I can tell he never
brings anything,
always orders
I did too, when I worked
at a mall with disgusting food
who am I to judge
no one

Exactly my point
you’re old enough
to be my father
I don’t want any
stupid flowers or
awkward conversations
and interactions with you
cut the chase
no, I’m not going there
with you
I’d sleep with the man
moving all shit around
before you
and he doesn’t even
have a car

Odd questions at work

Do you have a razor blade?
Yes, I totally come to work and shave my business! Not.

How tall are you?
How tall does it look? I’m not short or tall. I’m boring average.

Do you have any tissues?
Nope. Let me not check my bag or car. Still no. If you’re sick, should you really be at work with what’s going on?

Where can I find windex?
Have you tried the store or Walmart? I’m not packing that either.

You’re pretty, did you take my money?
I don’t sell shit, so no. If you’re applying you’ll pay me $1,000+ for a stupid chair maybe I should reconsider.

How long have you been married?
3 years next month. Means nothing. We’d been together 8+ years. Why? You’re not my type. As if I really have a type, I don’t… very minimum he can’t be slow.

What is your relationship with the owner?
I have none. A few interactions here and there.

Have you ever pissed him off?
Not yet, or that I know of. I’m not trying to get fired or my hours cut!

Being an asshole for 5 minutes

Most of you move extremely slow because you’re old, have a big ass, or are overweight. 

I absolutely love dodging slow people, you should have told me that’s in my job description. 

I guess you’re all slow minded too, many can’t get it I don’t want to talk to them. 

I have no idea who that one lady is, she thinks I’m also her servant. She’s dumb as hell. 

I’m in the dress code I don’t know why the hell you all care so much what I wear. Because I’m attractive and you’re not. I’m the most attractive female here, you see it and try to make me wear pants way too big for me as an attempt to bring me down a notch. Well it doesn’t work. 

‘Tell me about yourself’

First off, my name is pronounced how it’s spelled. It’s not difficult. If you fuck it up numerous times, I have a few choice words for you. And I wonder, did you make it through high school? Nevermind, they’ll let the dumbest idiots graduate not like it makes a difference.

I have no experience in this field at all. I applied to dozens of jobs and I probably won’t remember I applied here. I’m looking for something that pays more. Why? It’s always about money. Although, you know that’s not why I left my last job. That’s complicated. Let’s just say I had enough. And no normal workplace is like that. My current job is not. But obviously, I’m bored and don’t like what I’m doing that’s why I’m looking.

I know you really don’t care who I am or what I do on my free time. You’re just trying to creep and look for clues why I would or wouldn’t be good for the job. Yes, I have boxing gloves in my car, a one year old, and husband. What does that have to do with my abilities? Nothing. It appears I already know English better than your employees. Sooooo…

Odd fellow

What did you have for lunch? Pumpkin donuts. Yeah, real healthy I’m aware. I’m too lazy and careless to bother with anything else.

Are you on Facebook? I have one but I don’t use it. I’m only tagged in videos and pictures of my daughter. Who seriously asks that these days? Are you gonna friend request me? Haha.

How long have you been married? It’d be three years in October… Why?

How long have you been together? It’d be nine years in October. Why? Is it because I look young? We met in our early 20s, we’re 30. No we didn’t stay together the entire time, we went through on and offs and ups and downs.

What’s his name? What is this the third degree? Are you the police going to investigate him? Or just nosey?

What does he do for a living? He’s an accountant. More like a puppet that hits buttons on a computer all day. Exact opposite of anything and everything I do.

Has he met the owner? No. Why the hell?