Manipulation 101

Do your work, mind your business
Nobody suspects a thing.

Lie correctly
I’m not talking about ‘I got to go wash my dog’ excuses few people may have already picked up you don’t have one. Think of something that’d actually be true in your life.

Keep everything clean
What does that mean? What I said. If you have zero tracks people will believe anything you say whether they know you or not.

Think before you speak
Obviously, if you’re trying to come across a certain way or want to remain a mystery — pick and choose what you say or don’t.

Why are you doing it?
If you have truly ill intentions, it will blow back in your face. If you’re doing it to cover your ass for other valid reasons, okay. Or maybe you don’t want to be seen, so what. Nobody will know but you and maybe a therapist if you ever seek professional help.

And of course
Keep a low profile. Don’t engage with people unless you have too although small talk is torture.

Anger issues

Slow people
Hurry up or get the fuck out of my way

Slow drivers
MOVE or I’ll make you move I’ve already planned out every scenario in my head

WTF did you call me!?
It’s one thing to say my name wrong, another to give me a nickname without asking me if anyone calls me it! You have a death wish? I’ll plan your funeral Kenny. Not your name? HAHA piss off.

“Hi, how are you?”
“The weather…”
“How was your day?”
BLAH BLAH BLAH. Enough with the fucking small talk. I don’t like you. I don’t want to speak to you. Fact, I don’t like anyone in this dump. It kills and drains my soul having to be fake nice to you mindless kissasses.

‘Why do you leave early?’
Because I don’t want to fucking be here. It’s also bullshit I’m constantly early and none of you idiots can be on time.

‘My friend I think you need to let me fuck you, you’re obviously not happy’
HAHAHAHA. I already fucked you numerous times in the past. It’s not life changing. I don’t have issues there. And I wondered why you’re still single — not.

Sometimes I wish I was single
I’m basically alone it’s too much work listening to a big whineass everyday

And no that’s not why I’m like the way I am so piss off

Missing Link

Ten victims shot at an abandoned warehouse. The main suspect is a dead woman named Isabella Trail. Tough case for investigators Alex Levine and Mitch Davis. They’re left with more questions than answers. Why is a dead woman’s DNA at the scene? What does she have to do with it? What was the killers motive? Is it all connected? Alex and Mitch find the answers where they least expect it.

Published: December 30, 2020. The last of 2020.

Inspiration: It was started during lockdown in 2020. I was playing one of those story apps and notice a lot of them were about crimes or the mafia (no, I’m not writing about that probably ever). So, I thought I should write a crime story so I did. I had half the story written. I ran into a deadend with my characters, or so I thought. I honestly got bored and distracted with everything going on. I felt I needed to somewhat right about a virus or ‘end of the world’ story instead. I put ‘Missing Link’ aside. I wrote and published ‘Aurora Virus’ instead. As far as titles go, I never know what the story is going to be called until the end. I choose the ‘Missing Link’ because it seemed to fit. Two federal agents investigating a crime and not finding many clue. Yeah, it happened at a warehouse but it seemed pretty lame calling my story, “The Warehouse.”

Year of 2020

Publish a few things
no one reads
shutdown everything
for almost 6 months
laid off
make everyone wear
masks and ‘social distance’
start new job
be forced to sanitize
until my hands are dry
get a new car
hardly leaves the house
besides kickboxing and work
father gets struck and killed
by a car
get covid from in-law
watch my husband whine
and not take care of the kid
have a hard time getting
back to work
because they don’t understand
you can test positive up
to 3 months
meanwhile everyone else can
get back to a story no one
will probably read
look for a new job
them expecting I can do
a virtual interview with
a baby in the background

My year has been great
the painting of my mother’s
obituary picture holding
my daughter
I received on Christmas
was the cherry on top
as if I need to be
reminded of shit
this year has done it
I quit

You know what kills people too?
Cars and cancer
but no one is talking about it
this year
yes, people are dying
that is real
I had a mild case of covid
a little cough and stuffy nose
and I survived
if I was older, who knows

Boss concerns

The place is trashed
So there’s several other employees, tell them not to be slobs.

No one is sanitizing shit
So it shouldn’t have been my sole responsibility to do all of it. Whose to say I didn’t catch it from work?

Who will do your job?
No one who cares let shit fly everywhere. No different than what you people do on the weekends.

It’s been almost 3 weeks
Nothing has been done. Again, not my problem. Contact the state and county. They put a one year in almost one month quarantine (and no I don’t extended pay).

Are you still positive?
Listen. You can be positive for up to 3 months it doesn’t mean you’re infectious. You stop being infectious after 10 days or 72 hours your symptoms go away. Don’t believe me? Contact the CDC.

Did you get another test?
I can however, but like I said it doesn’t mean it’ll be negative. And guess what? I can return to work with a doctors note if it isn’t. My husband is. You don’t like it? Pay me to stay for weeks or months until I get another job.

What are you saying?
You all are afraid of a virus you know nothing about. Hell, we don’t even know if what they say is true. But I still live in America and I’m not required to do shit. Especially if it’s not written in a law.

How are you doing? When are you returning?
I’m good. I’m healthy. I’m hoping never. This entire time you’ve been hounding me about my test and other people in my household to get tested. Yeah, no I’m not testing my one year old. There’s no law stating I have too upon returning and I shouldn’t. It’s apparent you people only care that you have to get off your ass and do something. I’ve done everything and I was forced out because other people.

Reminds me why I’m socially distant from the start.

Alright

I see how it is
curiosity killed the cat
that’s okay I probably
wouldn’t have taken it
I’m probably going
somewhere else in 2021

You know
you don’t know someone
based on their cover
you’re lucky to have
parents alive
I don’t
guess what?
It’s a reality you’ll
have to face someday
I just faced it sooner

I’m not an alien
I’m ahead of all
of you

Pandemic?
Guess what?
I wear a mask
everywhere
wash my hands
sanitize
and I still got
COVID!
I only visit
stores twice a month
maybe
and never eat out!

Why?
Well someone was
sick and selfish
put him seeing my
daughter over
everyone’s welfare

Older people care?
Please, they’re just
as ignorant!

So I’m supposed
to sit here and watch
you idiots?
Nope

You can either
live in fear
or accept reality

Him vs I with COVID

Disclaimer: Not meant to be ‘sexist’ but spoken how it was.

Him
Gets every symptom in the book.

Me
A minor cough and stuffy nose.

Him
Spends all day and night in bed.

Me
Takes care of the the baby 24/7.

Him
Starts vomiting and gets himself admitted to a hospital for dehydration.

Me
Continues to take care of the baby 24/7.

Him
Comes home and continues to sleep whenever he wants.

Me
Still hasn’t slept a full night since the day before Thanksgiving when my father was struck and killed by a car.

Him
Has a serious attitude problem probably from being under ‘house arrest’ and takes it out on me.

Me
Continues to take care of the baby. Has a headache. Still can’t sleep. Now I understand why some people get divorced after quarantine.

…Must be nice to get sleep whenever the hell you want and make your wife do everything because you can’t handle it (even before and you wonder why your daughter never cries for you). If I was that sick I’d still have to take care of her. Sorry but so many of you are dense and take people for granted. Or you’re fucking clueless with your health or actions and infect everyone around you. So, yeah I’m seriously considering never going back to a physical job if I have a choice.

‘I’ve COVID’ response

If I get sick it’s you and your husbands fault!
How dare you come if you knew he was sick!?

First off, it was my husbands father that got sick and felt symptoms but had to be around us. Second, I didn’t know shit about him feeling sick until he said he was getting tested.

How careless are you?
Hey, fucking idiot. I have an infant. I follow all precautions. I don’t want her to get sick. You know she got sick too because of this shit!

How are you feeling?
I’m okay. My daughter is. My husband acts like he’s dying. I’m sick of it. If I’m tired I can’t sleep I’m the full time babysitter.

Who did you infect?
Contact tracing called me. I haven’t been remotely close to anyone. It’s not my fault one member in the household is reckless. Makes me wonder if I ever want them to watch my daughter.

Memories of my father

when I was a baby
he was never around
he was in the Coast Guard
when I was little I sat
on his big stomach and
ate popcorn
I went grocery shopping
with him every weekend
he took my mother’s paycheck
sometimes he took me
to the casino
when I was 9 I had a fit
at church because I didn’t
want to be there he hit me
on the side of my leg
my parents split
when I was eleven
I wasn’t aware of it
I thought when my mother
said we were moving,
he was coming
I was wrong

Did he try to see us?
yes, he got into a fight
with her boyfriend and that
was the last time he came
there to try

So then
he sent me birthday
and Christmas cards
every year
since then
sometimes he called
I hardly answered
I saw him only on some
holidays at church
as I got older
when my mother passed
he was at my sister’s house
on Thanksgiving and Christmas
to see us

He showed up at
the hospital when I had
my daughter though a few
months earlier I cussed him
out for making a comment
about me being big
— I was pregnant

Was he there when I was
growing up?
Yeah, here and there
when I was a kid
though half the time
he was gone gambling
when I was a teenager, no
I mean good luck for
anyone trying to get to me then

The last time I spoke to
him was the day after my birthday
he was excited to see
my daughter on Thanksgiving
which was cancelled by coronavirus
and cancelled farthermore
by the asshole that
ran him over and killed him
the night before

Sooo, all that gaps
in my life of him not being there
he made some kind of effort
though I hardly saw him
or knew anything about him
he took some interest what
was going on in my life
it’s unclear to me
if someone or something
prevented him from seeing us
besides his dislike of my
mother’s ‘boyfriend’
but you can’t blame him
he’s also told me to
talk to my father
some answers I’ll never get
what the hell happened?

So, now
I’m a parent and
realize time is a gift
if this was my last
moment on Earth
that’s who I’d want
to be with

My daughter,

I wish I could
take away the pain
you’ll feel someday
I’m not around
and your father
isn’t either
having lost
both parents is
a different feeling
than losing your mother
you were close too

You’re a parent
with no parents
unless you have kids
before I die
or one of us passes
when he/she is an infant
your child will grow up
not knowing us, only stories
it’s not the same
then you have to watch
other kids with grandparents
and think, hey that could
have been my daughter/son
with them
and live with that the rest
of your life

Unfortunately, that’s what
life is for many of us
parents are supposed to go
before you do
but you wish, the timing was
different
life doesn’t care if you’re
ready or not
that’s why they say live it
nothing is permanent but death

I wasn’t ready for you
after my mother passed
actually, I didn’t think
I’d ever be ready to be a mother
I didn’t want to get married
I didn’t want to settle down
but I did
then I got pregnant for you
and thought of getting an abortion
the second I heard your heartbeat
I knew
you were going to be my daughter
from there you will learn
to be graceful, strong, powerful,
smart like the women before you
and have things I didn’t
that’s what we want for our kids