Not my mother


my mother was given away 

I wasn’t 

she wouldn’t do that

to her children 

she grew up in the city

I grew up in a small town

she was on her own

when she was 15 

I lived with her until I was 27

for reasons outside

 of her having cancer 

she get off on her own

because she had no choice 

I did

not so sure what happened 

in her life before me or when

I was little but she had six kids

myself included and always worked

I have what one? I didn’t get 

even have sex in

high school because of her

my daughter came almost 

two years after her death

I know before she diagnosed 

she was always angry

I can’t say I am but I’m quick

to get pissed but I don’t stay 

that way (you wonder why

I’ve a short fuse, there you go

it is genetic)

she’d be mad and complain

about her boyfriend for hours

 so I guess we knew the truth 

of men early on but not so much

anything about her past really

who tells their kids the men 

they fucked or cheated on?

I wouldn’t but my daughter,

not talking about it isn’t

going to help you not 

make the same mistakes

No mother I don’t see you

as a cheat, I heard the phone calls

even if you were decades ago

it wouldn’t matter 

don’t turn in your grave 

I wouldn’t but yes, some secrets

people will never know about me

I can say,

the final months to the last moment 

I saw my mother

she wasn’t as angry

it’s like she knew

none of it mattered 

she said she did her job

she raised six kids

and it was my turn?

like I’d have that many 

I wouldn’t but

she was peaceful and falling

asleep the last time I saw her

unlike my father I saw video footage 

of him getting struck and killed 

by a car 

so your final moment

will say a lot about how 

you lived your life 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s