Never ever

Did I have sex with criminal.
I’m not sure if I knew he got drunk and robbed a gas station before I started sleeping with him. Okay, I did he talked about it — he served his time and was on probation.

Did I have sex with a coworker.
Well, yeah.

Did I have sex with more then one coworker.
Not something I really want to talk nor think about. Let’s just say one of them was terrible in bed.

Had sex with the same sex.
Another thing I don’t want to talk about. It’s not like I planned or enjoyed it.

Date more then one person at once.
3. Why not? It’s not like they cared if they knew.

Cheat on someone.
Not the best thing I did.

Had sex at work.
Of course and to this day, the big people don’t have a clue I did it because I was a good worker, great at hiding shit and minding my own business.

Got caught making out with someone at work.
By a security guard, he thought it was funny.

Meetup with someone at a hotel only to have sex.
Quite a few times. Hey, sometimes that’s the only way you’re going to get it.

Cried way out of traffic ticket.
Yeah, that worked for me for a while until the last time I legitimately blew a stop sign.

Denied catching feelings for someone you were only hooking up with.
Hmmm… I’m not sure. I didn’t really have feelings and if I did, I admit I only fell for one out of the many.

Deleted every single text message.
All the time. It could be a stupid short conversation and still gone. I never was one for keeping conversations on my phone.

 

 
Disclaimer: Got this idea from an App. No, my dear I don’t advise you to do stupid things but you probably will anyway. It’s called life.

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