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I don’t like dealing with people, how would that job be ideal for me? Only all my income and work hours depend on people. It’s also expensive to get certified…

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You’re right I should use condoms but wait, are you bugging my phone and watching me have sex!?

Get birth control pills to travel with you!
You’re right I probably be on birth control but again, how do you know my business!?

Can’t do epic shit with basic people mug.
OMG, true perfect for my caffeine addiction!

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Really? That’s the best you could find by cracking in my search engine? So I always look for cheap leggings, I’m sick of this high waisted bullshit!

Fitness influencers wanted
That’s because the obvious, I’m a ‘brand ambassador’ for some fitness clothing line in the UK. Spoiler alert, it pays nothing. It’s nothing but free advertisement for them. So if I tried one, I’d do another? Nope. Piss off.

Jewelry ambassadors wanted
I bought a necklace for my daughter she won’t wear until she’s older online a while ago. I guess the tracking chip told them I love jewelry — I don’t.

Want to be a personal trainer? Get your free career kit today!
There’s a lot for that? Haha. You’ll do literally anything to get people’s money!

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