Get certified to be a personal trainer today!
I don’t like dealing with people, how would that job be ideal for me? Only all my income and work hours depend on people. It’s also expensive to get certified…
Try new natural condoms today!
You’re right I should use condoms but wait, are you bugging my phone and watching me have sex!?
Get birth control pills to travel with you!
You’re right I probably be on birth control but again, how do you know my business!?
Can’t do epic shit with basic people mug.
OMG, true perfect for my caffeine addiction!
2 for $24 leggings!
Really? That’s the best you could find by cracking in my search engine? So I always look for cheap leggings, I’m sick of this high waisted bullshit!
Fitness influencers wanted
That’s because the obvious, I’m a ‘brand ambassador’ for some fitness clothing line in the UK. Spoiler alert, it pays nothing. It’s nothing but free advertisement for them. So if I tried one, I’d do another? Nope. Piss off.
Jewelry ambassadors wanted
I bought a necklace for my daughter she won’t wear until she’s older online a while ago. I guess the tracking chip told them I love jewelry — I don’t.
Want to be a personal trainer? Get your free career kit today!
There’s a lot for that? Haha. You’ll do literally anything to get people’s money!