My baby

is the one
and only person
in this world
I love
I live for
she reminds me
when she cries
when I leave
or wakes up
in the middle of
the night
and nothing calms
her down but me

She’s only four months old
she doesn’t understand
what’s going on
they say
that’s why nobody else
can handle her
when she has a fit?

I know nothing
about babies or children
I know my mother said
that was the reason
she held on so long
with her battle with cancer
til they day she left us

She said
”You’ll have a daughter
— like you,
you’ll be a good mother”
when she was sick
I didn’t believe her
I didn’t want to have kids
I had issues settling down
and jump from one person
and thing to another
How? Why?
It didn’t make sense
but neither did losing her

But then, maybe
I learned my capacity
maybe I evolved when
nothing else around me did

I’m still ‘cold’ and lack empathy
towards others and that’s okay
I only care about what’s in my life
it happens now to be her

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