Here it comes

I skipped
the entire month
of November
so far
he got me tests
thinking nothing
but she’s late
I take two
two hours apart
they both come back
positive
I went out and got
a shitty store brand name
it came out the same

I think
what the hell
am I going to do
if it’s true?
I have to pretty much
give up everything
and destroy my body
I’ve been working on
for 29 years now
I don’t have a good job
I don’t want to rely
on other people
I don’t know if it’s
worth it or if I’ll
ruin it in the process
of all people
why does it have to be me?
I took Plan B
it shouldn’t have happened
or perhaps
I have something else
wrong with me
highly unlikely but
why?

I don’t want to
be a mother
I value my freedom
I don’t have patience
for anyone or anything
I’m too self-involved
and caught in my ways
to do this but you
somehow think this was
supposed to happen
I believe in dumb choices
this happened to be
one of them

 

 

 

Stay continued…

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