I ate a stick of butter
thinking it was chocolate
I snuck candy on the
coffee table
when no one was looking
I saw a black shadow
laying in my parents bed
I didn’t understand

I ripped Santa’s beard off
I didn’t know who he was
or what it was hanging from his face
I pushed a kid off a bike
my older sister told me too
I thought it was cool
to get up and chase
the cat under the bed

I wasn’t a crier
I was always observing
people staring at me
made me antsy
I drew on the wall
with markers, crayons
or anything I could find really
I said,
“Look mommy I made wall pretty”
she was mad
I had boards and coloring books
I preferred the wall

When I had popsicles
I put the sticks in a pot hole
My friend
(I thought was a person real but turned out to be a spirit — I didn’t understand that at the time)
told me to save them for her
I spoke to her in jibberish
til my mother caught me
and told me to play with my friend
that lived next store